monday funnies

[hobbes4star 0]

A defense attorney was cross-examining a Chicago police officer
during a felony trial -- it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the
description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called
offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer -- do you
have a locker room in the police station -- a room where you
change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers
with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker
in a room you share with those same officers?
A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex,
and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through
that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt
recess was called.

Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a speeder
hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in
his hand.

The speeder looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks
as if I killed your dog."

"Sure does."

I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be
enough?"

"Well, I don't know."

"Two hundred dollars. That should do it."

"Sounds good."

The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money.
Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled
your plans to go hunting."

"I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to
shoot that mangy dog."

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?