lummy 4 #1 September 4, 2002 in the book of Lummy I've always been the kind of person who learned things the hard way. There are numerous reasons why that is so, but the driving factor in my opinion was that I needed to see, feel and experience things for myself before I would accept things as fact. There was never much guidance when I was growing up, and if anything, I was the guidance for my two younger sisters. Being so knowledgeable about everything, after all. I had it all figured out, this little long haired punk hopped on a Greyhound bus 2 weeks before my 18th birthday and left what little family I had in New Jersey to be with my girlfriend in Las Vegas. Three months later, I was faced with an ultimatum from the Mom in law, Marry the daughter, or move out on my own. Marriage didn't seem like that big of a deal at the time, I figured what is the worst that can happen? You can always get a divorce, right? the hard way By the time, I was 20, my wife was pregnant with her second son. By the time I was 21, Everything that I had worked for and gained over the last few years was gone. The wife left in the middle of the night, the rent for the house that we worked so hard to get into couldn't be paid, ALL the belongings were stacked outside for Goodwill and I was fired from my job soon afterwards. After a 3 month binge, I pulled my head out of my ass, and worked for a ride up to SF where I started life over. With the help of some good friends and a lot of determination, I pulled my self up and out of the abyss. A while later, I met another gal, had two more children, and ended up staying with her for 10 years. Unfortunately, even thou I had vowed not to make the same mistakes, I couldn't keep the marriage together. Still insistent on not making the same mistakes, I never gave up on my two youngest and wouldn't stop until they were where they belonged, safe and sound with their Dad. (another chapter ) That was four years ago. I've learned many more lessons over the last four years, but the most important one is that I need to love myself before I can be with someone else. I've also learned that I don't need to be in a relationship and would rather be alone than settle for something that is JUST comfortable..... Where am I going with this? My oldest son came home last night after being gone for 13 years. The scary thing is that I see sooo much of his father in him, and having been there, I refuse to let him follow my footsteps. The nice part is that at this moment, I feel ike this is the most "together" my life has ever been. So begins the next chapter, here I go, turn the pageI promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hohonukai 0 #2 September 4, 2002 I don't think anyone ever has it all together. Sounds like you're in a great position to lead your oldest son in the right direction. Which must feel awesome as a dad! ps- so are you going to use your real name as the author, or a fake name? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #3 September 4, 2002 My sweet Lummy friend~ HEROS are those that do what needs to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I need not say anything more than that. I salute the divine within you. B2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nws01 0 #4 September 4, 2002 That is awesome Lummy. I am glad things are the way you like them. It was great meeting you this weekend and I look forward to spending more time in the blue skies with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #5 September 4, 2002 Our kids are kind of like aircraft carriers to us being tugboats. If we push with all our might, we may influence their course a little. Knowing where you want them to go, that gentle pressure is enough to steer them on the right course. My entire life changed a couple of times, but most fundamentally when those little faces were bearing witness to my life. Nogiveup Lumster, nogiveup. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SudsyFist 0 #6 September 4, 2002 lummy, your bravery by far surpasses everything i've come up against in my silly little life. and i'm coming across more and more people lately who have overcome hurdles of similar (HUUUUUGE) magnitude... drive on, my friend. damn glad to meetcha. steve Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #7 September 4, 2002 It won't take long for your son to see how cool his dad is. You are the man Lummy. You should be proud of yourself. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blondeflyer7 0 #8 September 4, 2002 you inspire me.......I've always admired you for the things you've done! Your a great guy and always will be! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #9 September 4, 2002 Lummy, Parenting does not have to end because a child is hitting a certain age, it just enters a different phase. There is alot you can do to positively mold and influence your son. It sounds like you lived and learned. All you have is the present. You cannot change the past. You have the ability to become a very positive force in your childs lives. Only you can be their Dad. Best of luck to you. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brisco 0 #10 September 4, 2002 Q: When do you stop worrying about your kids? A: The moment they throw that first shovelful of dirt on your coffin. Stay the course, man! Brisco Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #11 September 4, 2002 Lummy Most wonderful news - your son is home where he belongs! I am not a parent, unfortunately, but I can say that you are a wonderful man, and have managed to do right by yourself and your children. What better role model than that? Far better than some people will ever do, Lummy. You've made it through some really hard times, and some really sad times. It is not been for naught....the lessons you've learned will hold you in good stead. You are amazing. Hang tight, and glad to hear your life is as good as it's ever been. That, just by itself, is a huge accomplishment. Ciels and Pinks- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 September 4, 2002 To have a child is to give a hostage to fate - don't know the author. Don't tell 'em, show 'em. Generally, kids learn from examples. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #13 September 5, 2002 Your son is exactly where he needs to be. Having you around will be the best thing for him. And, it will be great for the relationship to grow between all of your kids now too.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #14 September 5, 2002 Wow!!! Thanks everyone for the wonderful thoughts (warm fuzzy feeling ;) GROUP HUGS FOR EVERYONE :) AWWWWW...... Well, I'm beat, first day of school (and I have three schools now) and an extremely hectic day at work has left me beat.. One more hug for everyone....I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #15 September 5, 2002 (((((LUMMY))))) theres one for you too Keep the faith babay! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #16 September 5, 2002 QuoteWell, I'm beat, first day of school (and I have three schools now) and an extremely hectic day at work has left me beat.. No foolin! There's no way I did that much homework when I was in first grade! I am so glad both my kids are in the same grade and class. The homework is way easier the second time through. Good luck, tough guy! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
