Friday Funnies

[PhreeZone 20]

Since Hobbes is no longer posting these... and I raided the junk mail folders at work again...

Technology at its finest:
20 executives board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first ever to feature pilot-less technology:

It is an un-crewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company's software is running the aircraft's automatic pilot system.

Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed.

Asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replies: "If it's the same software that runs my company's computer systems, this plane won't even take off."



Top 10 Summer Camps NOT to send your Kids to
10. Tommy Lee's ---------------------------Camp Kickachickee
9. Lorena Bobbit's -------------------------Camp Cutaweewee
8. Tanya Harding's ------------------------Camp Wackaneenee
7. Kenneth Star's --------------------------Camp Catchacrookee
6. Louis Farakahn's ------------------------Camp Killawhitey
5. O. J. Simpson's ------------------------- Camp Killawifee
4. Michael Jackson's ----------------------- Camp Wannabewhitey
3. President Clinton's -----------------------Camp Getahoochie
2. Ellen Degeneras's -------------------------Camp Lickacoochie
And the number one camp not to send your kid to:
1. Monica Lewinsky's ------------------------Camp Suckapeepee


Speeding:
A Georgia state patrolman pulled a car over for speeding about 20 miles from the Florida line on I-95. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver answered that he was a magician and juggler and was on his way to Jacksonville to do a show that night and didn't want to be late. The patrolman told the driver that he was fascinated by juggling and if the driver would do a little juggling for him that he wouldn't give him a ticket. The juggler told him that he had sent all of his equipment on ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The patrolman told him that he had some flares in the trunk of his car and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the patrolman got three flares and lit them, and handed them to the juggler. While the man was doing his juggling act, a car pulled up behind the patrol car and a drunk got out and looked at the show, then went to the patrol car, opened the back door and got in. The patrolman saw him do this and went over to his car, opened the door and asked the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "Just take me to jail... ain't no way I'm gonna pass that test."

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

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