Aviationisms

[Ducky 0]

When one engine fails on a twin engine airplane you
always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in the
ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

Never trade luck for skill.

The three most common expressions (or famous last
words) in aviation are, "Why is it doing that?",
"Where are we?" and " Oh Shit!"

Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

Progress in airline flying; Now a flight attendant
can get a pilot pregnant.

Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always needed
to successfully complete the flight.

A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all
luck; three in a row is prevarication.

I remember when sex was safe and flying was
dangerous.

Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never
left one up there!

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage,
it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.

Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a
flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.

Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is
like squatting to pee.

Flying the airplane is more important than radioing
your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing
anything about it.

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well,
something was forgotten.

Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your
funeral will be held on a sunny day.

Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II. When a
prang (crash) seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest
object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.

The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;
it can just barely kill you.
(Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't
flying his plane to its maximum.
(Jon McBride, astronaut)

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing
as far into the crash as possible.
(Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic pilot)

If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on
it; ride the bastard down.
(Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)

Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall
Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing
(sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating
location Kadena, Japan).

You've never been lost until you've been lost at
Mach 3.
(Paul F. Crickmore - test pilot)

Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver
than you.

There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in
peacetime (sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan
AFB, AZ, 1970).

The three best things in life are a good landing, a
good orgasm, and a good bowel movement. The night carrier
landing is one of the few opportunities in life where
you get to experience all three at the same time.
(Author unknown, but someone who's been there)

"Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A
DC-9 captain trainee attempting to check out on the
'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

What is the similarity between air traffic
controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the
pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Without ammunition the USAF would be just another
expensive flying club.

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's
about to.

Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and
interstellar space. It is much more difficult
to fly there.

You know that your landing gear is up and locked
when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.


kwak

Sometimes your the bug, sometimes your the windshield. Sometimes your the hammer sometimes your the nail. Question is Hun, Do you wanna get hammered or do you wanna get nailed?????

[SkydiveMonkey 0]

Too funny !!

____________________
Say no to subliminal messages

[konradptr 0]

How about:

Faster, faster, faster- until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death...

------------------------------------------
Getting banned isn't that bad......

[drenaline 0]

haha funny stuff!

HISPA 21
www.panamafreefall.com

[flyhi 24]

The goal of every Aeronautical Engineer: Simplificate and make more light.

Observed at the end of a really bad autorotation:
He ran out of collective, lift, and ideas all at the same time

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[Craig 0]

On an aviation related note, I thought this was amusing... http://www.im-c.com/conversations.htm

[bodypilot90 0]

lol love it

[Kennedy 0]

That was great, though it didn't help the cause in trying to get the GERMAN girlfriend to the DZ. anymore bright ideas? [I hope.... ]

Kennedy

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

anymore bright ideas?

Dark, thick, room temp beer!!! and maybe some Schnitzel.