ECVZZ 0 #1 September 23, 2002 The following are a few "short takes" from "Napalm and sillyputty" by George Carlin. They are not necessarily the views of myself, the moderators, or this website. "Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Why don't they wear nightgowns?" "You rarely see an elderly midget. Apparently their lifespans are shorter too." "Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?" "I once was dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection. So I asked her to bake me a loaf of bread." "I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it." "Masturbation is not illegal, but if it were, people would probably take the law into their own hands." "I've noticed that there is such a thing as a disposable douche. And I wonder why would someone want to keep that stuff in the first place." "You know what you rarely see? A 93 year old guy working on his resume." "I think I am, therefore, I am. I think." "A cat will blink when struck with a hammer." "Near as I can tell,"Jack shit" and "diddly squat" are roughly the same amount." "Professional soldiers are people who die for a living." "I feel sorry for bisexuals. Can you imagine wanting to fuck everybody you meet?" "God bless homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile." "We're not supposed to mention fucking in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place." "Can anyone explain to me the need for one-hour photo finishing? You just saw the fuckin' thing! How can you possibly be nostalgic about a concept like "a little while ago?" "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck." "There's something I like about the clitoris, but I can't quite put my finger on it." "Next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election." "Sometimes they say "the winds are calm". Well, if they're calm, they're not really winds, are they." G. Jones "I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #2 September 23, 2002 QuoteInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. Don't chicks get laid the most when they are drunk? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallinWoman 1 #3 September 23, 2002 QuoteDon't chicks get laid the most when they are drunk? Maybe the chicks you get! luv ya Clay! Anne ~Anne I'm a Doll!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #4 September 23, 2002 QuoteInstead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck. Heh! Boy wouldnt that just screw alot of these guys outta gettin laid. JK! "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FallRate 0 #5 September 23, 2002 Quote"A cat will blink when struck with a hammer." This is true. FallRate Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drenaline 0 #6 September 23, 2002 Quote"Masturbation is not illegal, but if it were, people would probably take the law into their own hands." Hahahaha! good stuff ZZ! HISPA 21 www.panamafreefall.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #7 September 23, 2002 "Don't chicks get laid the most when they are drunk? " In biblical times, if an unmarried woman was caught having sex, she was stoned. Still true today, I guess. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #8 September 23, 2002 Quote"Don't chicks get laid the most when they are drunk? " In biblical times, if an unmarried woman was caught having sex, she was stoned. Still true today, I guess. So i guess smoking POT was Ok back then My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rhino 0 #9 September 23, 2002 QuoteMaybe the chicks you get! OUCH!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #10 September 23, 2002 QuoteMaybe the chicks you get! I hope....they usually don't run as fast after they are drunk.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #11 September 23, 2002 QuoteQuoteMaybe the chicks you get! I hope....they usually don't run as fast after they are drunk.... Well, when they have four hooves, I don't think you can expect them to operate them all under the influence, huh? ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 September 23, 2002 "...after they are drunk" Mating call of a blonde: "I am soooo drunk..." Mating call of a brunette: "HEY, I SAID I am sooooo drunk" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
