India 2005 (warning: more politics)

[billvon 3,120]

The year is 2005. The US is just finishing up the war with Iraq. It ended like the war in Afganistan did - we toppled the Iraqi government but didn't catch Hussein, who is now living somewhere in Pakistan making the occasional videotape or anti-US rant. Intelligence hints that he still has some chemical weapons. His son now heads up an anti-US political party in Saudi Arabia.

In the US, we give lots of support to Pakistan to help them find the remains of Al-Quaeda, and although they find most of them, a few people (Bin Laden for example) elude them.

Meanwhile, in India, there is a presidential election, and a candidate from the Ghadar party (we'll call him Charu) wins in an unexpected victory, even though more people in India voted for his opponent. There is some political hanky-panky going on during the election, with Charu getting some help from a relative in one province. But after some grumbling everyone accepts him.

After six months in office there's yet another incident in Kashmir; the Indian Army has another run-in with some rebels in the mountains. Charu occupies Kashmir with the Indian Army. There is more fighting as they take over cities; they kill thousands of innocent people as they try to rout out the rebels.

Charu then declares that he will invade Pakistan in order to topple Musharraf, who is an evil warlord who sponsors terrorism - why, even Hussein and Bin Laden are now in Pakistan! He goes to the UN and presents his case:

-Musharraf harbors both Hussein and Bin Laden; they provide training grounds for terrorists all over the world.

-They have nuclear weapons and IRBM's. They are much more dangerous than Iraq was; Iraq didn't even have nukes when the US invaded. Pakistan therefore presents an immediate and definite threat to the security of India and to the UN.

-India has a right to defend itself even before Pakistan does anything overtly bad; they refuse to wait until they are nuked. He invokes the US's security doctrine of preemptive defense.

-Pakistan has supported the terrorists in Kashmir for 20 years now, and are thus responsible for all the killing there.

Pakistan replies that India, not Pakistan, killed thousands in Kashmir; that they are trying to catch Bin Laden and Hussein, and that they do not intend to bomb India unless they invade. They agree to any and all types of peace talks, and in fact agree to allow UN inspectors to inspect their nuclear weapons to ensure they are not normally targeted at India, they are not stocking chemical or biological weapons, and are not on a high state of alert. They even agree to having UN peacekeepers in country to monitor their military and alert India to any aggression. India, of course, claims this is all a ruse.

The UN balks at giving India the right to invade Pakistan and start what could be a nuclear war. India announces that they will do it anyway, with or without the UN.

What would the US do in this situation? Or, perhaps more importantly, what _should_ we do in that situation?

[DJL 235]

So, I read an article today about new missions to the moon to set up a permanent outpost...

That's a pretty elaborate what if but I think it's missing out on mentioning China.

It would be much like our ability to deal with Isreal and Palestine. There is only so much we can do.

However, I think a good solution would be to send in the newly created "Iraqi State of America". HEY! They frigging OWE us!!!


-Doug

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[jraf 0]

I like simple solutions. They are the best. So in order to support the national economy we should purchase a bunch of superbuldozers from John Deere. We put them side by side on the Paki border. A trumpeteer play the cavalry atack tune. The bulldozers start going sounthwards. After reaching the southern most tip of what used to be India nad Pakistan they buldozr the gathered material into a huge runway.
Now a problem arizes: What to we do with all the flatland. Well, technological advances and global entertainment have the aswer ready. First of Universal, Disney and Busch Gradens build theme parks. Workers form all over the world are employed at reconstructing the Himalaya. This time they build a super fast elevator into the nothern wall of the K2. Trump redesigns the Taj Mahal from now on called the Taj Trump. New Dehli will now become the New York Deli with the best Ruben sandwich served with home made fries. Pakistan will be the new winter training camp for the Green Bay Packers. Calcutta will be a grand street of theaters with the '70s musical "Oh, Calcutta" with all it's nudity featured every morning.
The southern most tip of the Indian sub continent with the buldozed runway will become the Starfleet Command center. A replica of the Golden Gate Bridge will be built between the runway and Sri Lanka in order to comply with the reality of the movies. The locals of Sri Lanka including the Tamil tigers will be stripped of lethal weapons and issued paint ball guns. Sri Lanka wil become a world class resort for Xtreme Tours. Paintball balltles will be the main feature.
Since all the locals will have been bulldozed into the Indian Ocean, a fresh supply of Pakistanis will be repatriated from the UK and the Indians will come from IBM and America Express in New Jersey. After all theme parks need some locals, but the must be tamed.
This solution will rid the world not only of Musharaf, Hussein but also of the Ghandi clan, the Bhuttos, the memory of Mother Theresa and the idea of sacred cows, as these will be processed into burgers.
The only thing we need to fear is the Borg. I am Captain Kirk. My crew has revolted and sent me back in time as they did not want to film Star Treck XXIV. I know what the future is. Beware!

jraf

Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui.
Muff #3275

[nws01 0]

I told you it was Bill Von that made the time machine and HH just borrowed it! Can I borrow it Bill?

[Meathorse 0]

Ok... so in 2005 the Borg are forcing Hussein to work at a Pakistani Busch Gardens? I'm confused.

And can we have a Busch Gardens on that moon colony at 2010 too? That would rock.

[QuickDraw 0]

From what I can make out Bill, it looks like "same shit different day".
I suppose the best way of dealing with a situation like that, is to have an excellent example of how it was dealt with before.
Obviously you are talking about now & today, and an example has to be set.
I firmly believe that peace should be given every chance.
I can see too much hypocrisy already, although I can see also the frustration with dealing with the UN and their apparent inability to do anything to anyone other than applying sanctions (which tend to only affect the poorest of people anyway)
So what next ? .... perhaps modifying the sanctions / boycott oil / start to actally punish offenders under UN law whoever they are.

At the end of the day, i am no politician.

And I guess that's why people are paid MUCH more money than me

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[billvon 3,120]

>I suppose the best way of dealing with a situation like that, is to
> have an excellent example of how it was dealt with before.

Yep, that is my hope. We will not always be a world power, and someday we will be judged by someone else who is deciding if we're a threat, and maybe they should just take us out before we launch our biological weapons. I hope on that day they look back on history and say "Well, negotiations worked last time. Maybe we'll put off that invasion."

[fasterfaller 0]

Since Americans are the best people in the world we should just blow up the rest of it and end all wars now . We could save a few cool places like Finland and Norway and fry the rest . Just my opinion .