Icarus021 0 #1 September 25, 2002 Bricklayer's Accident Report. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the Newsletter of the New Zealand equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have walked away with a Darwin Award. The letter begins: Dear Sir: I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "Poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working Alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, found I had some bricks left over, which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs. I hope this answers your inquiry. 3-2-1-cya Don't take life too serious, you will never get out alive! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #2 September 25, 2002 This is the fiunniest thing I've ever read. The guy deserves a Darwin award even if he is not dead. LMAO!!!!!!7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #3 September 25, 2002 Icarus: >Had this guy died, he'd have walked away with a Darwin Award. Yeah, even the dead walk to go and collect their awards... Pop: >The guy deserves a Darwin award even if he is not dead. No sorry. The rules explicit state that you must successfully "remove yourself from the genepool". Though I'm sure you can imagine ways to do that without dying. The story sounds a bit difficult to believe to me. The guy does have an impressive sense of humor if he wrote that after sustaining those injuries... Erno Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #4 September 25, 2002 i seen the same basic story several times in the last few years. it still cracks me up, but i wonder if it's an urban legend. snopes is blocked here at work, anyone know if it's listed? update: answered my own question. check here. the darwin awards site actually lists it as a legend."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meathorse 0 #5 September 25, 2002 Also hard to believe since I've seen a couple different versions of it in as many years But damn it's funny as hell. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TEB6363 0 #6 September 25, 2002 Yep, seen it before called "Lost Presence of Mind" However, it is still funny. Once the plane takes off, you're gonna have to land - Might as well jump out!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WFFC 1 #7 September 25, 2002 Quotei seen the same basic story several times in the last few years. it still cracks me up, but i wonder if it's an urban legend. snopes is blocked here at work, anyone know if it's listed? According to Snopes, it's folklore: http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/bricks.htm Entertaining reading though----- ~~~Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #8 September 25, 2002 Here's the page for the poor oppressed people. bricks.html Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ricx 0 #9 September 25, 2002 I've seen this one before as well and it always cracks me up too. I got sent this by an older work colleage who lives deep in the boaders countryside in Scotland. They used to sign this in the pub when they got pissed on 30 pints of the heavey and 80, Funny as phuct and a great laugh! 4 or five of the local's all rosy cheeks, round bellies and hairy beards, chuckling away signing funny tunes and telling really bad jokes! I know the tune to this, but it's kind da hard to put accross using a keyboard! he goes.. ta tum te tum...ta tum tem tum...ta ...eh!.... never mind! Why Paddy's Not At Work Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all around Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope The barrel being heavier, it started down once more And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
