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moodyskydiver

joke

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[:/]I've been in a gloomy mood lately, so some of my friends have sent me jokes trying to cheer me up.I figured I'd share...

A cop was patrolling near midnight for "parking" violations in a well-known "make-out spot". He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light on. He gets closer to the car and sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman on the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and knocks at the window.
The young man lowers his window... "Yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?" asked the officer.
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine..."
Pointing towards the young woman, the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"

The young man says: "I believe she's knitting a pullover..."
The cop is totally confused. A young couple alone in a car at night...and nothing obscene is happening!
"How old are you, young man?" "I'm 25, sir."
"And her, how old is she?" asks the officer.
The young man looks at his watch and says: "She'll be 18 in about 20 minutes.


"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

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This one is cute too.

HOW TO BATHE A CAT

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.

(Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this.)

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.

7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.


Sincerely,

The Dog


"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

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Naked ladies

I passed by the nursing home and there were six old ladies
lying naked in the front grass. I thought this was a little peculiar,
but
continued on my way because it's a long walk and I wanted to get it
over with before it got truly hot again today.

On my way back, the ladies were still lying in the yard
and to quench my curiosity, I went inside and asked to speak to the
director of the facility.

When I asked him if he knew there were 6 naked
old ladies lying on his front lawn, he replied,

"Yes, I know. They're retired prostitutes and they're having a yard
sale!"
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

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