the guide to answering difficult questions

[happythoughts 0]

"What would you do if I died?"
Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way."
Possible discussion:
"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?" "Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?" "Would you remarry?" persevered the wife. "No, of course not, dear" said the husband. "Don't you like being married?" said the wife. "Of course I do, dear" he said. "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" "Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry." "You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt. "Yes" said the husband. "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause. "Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes? "I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband. "Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?" "Yes. I think that would be the correct and sensitive thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed..."

[coho21 0]

HA ha LOL!!!

That was just what I needed right now.
Thanks.

J
YSD#0009

2hrs and counting down....

[quade 4]

And women wonder why men don't ever talk.

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[moodyskydiver 0]

LOL! When in doubt, just shut up!Dont dig a deepeer hole for yourself.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[kopelen 0]

wow, sounds like someone dug their grave

[bbarnhouse 0]

Quote

And women wonder why men don't ever talk.

Ohhhhhh Quark honey.......you don't need to talk

[Yoshi 0]

so last night I got home from work and my wife said " you have been working so hard andputting up with so much stress lets go out to dinner.." I said "sounds good" thinking what has gotten into her...then at dinner she says shouldnt you get ther new rig you have been wanting...I mean you do most the work in our household and I jsut think you should pay yourself back the favor.....now I am thinking either she did something wrong or wanted something...then on the way home she started to rub my leg seductively and asked in a gently voice "what do you want??? Ill let ytou do anything you want....
so....I dropped her off at her moms house for a week:)
-yoshi

_________________________________________
this space for rent.

[Brisco 0]

On their wedding night, a man tells his new wife that he was putting a box under the bed and that he wanted her to promise that under no circumstances would she ever look in the box. The young wife agreed and, although often curious about the box, she kept her promise and never looked in it. On the day of their 40th anniversary, however, she reasoned that after 40 years, what harm could it cause to take a peek in the box. So, that day while her husband was at work, she dragged the box from under the bed, picked the lock and raised the lid. Inside she found 2 empty beer cans and $2200 in cash.

That evening during their anniversary dinner, the wife said to her husband, "Honey... I have a confession to make. After 40 years, I couldn't stand it anymore. I broke my promise to you and I looked in the box under the bed. What is so secret about some empty beer cans and some cash"? "Well", said the husband, "I suppose after 40 years I can tell you. I'm sorry to admit that I have cheated on you with another woman and each time I cheated, I drank a beer and put the empty can in the box to remind myself how wrong it was and to never do it again". At first the wife was horrified at this news, but then thought to herself - 2 times over 40 years? that wasn't so bad and he had otherwise been a very good husband. So she said, "While I'm not happy about this news, I can forgive you because you've been such a wonderful husband. That explains the beer cans, but what about the $2200.00 in cash?" "Oh, that", he said, "well every time the box got full of empty beer cans I cashed in the aluminum!"

Brisco

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

[happythoughts 0]

"What are you thinking?"
The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five things:
a) Baseball
b) Football
c) Your butt size
d) The waitress's butt size
e) The new mudflaps
According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid questioncame from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it by hiswife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."