bluefingers 0 #1 October 2, 2002 A bit long, but some of these are hysterical! Clear Metaphors from Student Essays: Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had it's two other sides gently compressed by train doors. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36a.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other fromTopeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBile 0 #2 October 2, 2002 Thanks for that. I laughed so much that I pissed myself like a guy who had drunk 15 pints of lager whilst sitting on an ice block. Gerb I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #3 October 2, 2002 Some of those painted a picture as clear as a piece of computer-generated 3-D art that you have to cross your eyes to see. Thanks.Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #4 October 2, 2002 Douglas Adams' books have a lot of similar stuff, here's a couple of examples quickly found on th Net: "The large yellow ships hung in the sky in exactly the same way that bricks don't" "...muscles in his upper arm moved around each other like a couple of Volkswagens parking." Erno Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #5 October 2, 2002 Chuckling like Chuckie Macchuckles, on national chuckle day, in downtown Chuckleville.-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
markbaur 0 #6 October 2, 2002 Oops! These are similes, not metaphors. Simile: a figure of speech comparing two unlike things, usually introduced by like (lips like pedals) or as (as round as bricks). Metaphor: a figure of speech in which a word or phrase literally denoting one kind of of object or idea is used in place of another to suggest a likeness or analogy between them (a door is a jar). My thanks to Noah Webster. Mark Grammar Nazi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefingers 0 #7 October 2, 2002 QuoteOops! These are similes, not metaphors I should know this what can I say, it's been a long day, and I just cut & pasted .... tks Kerry Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #8 October 2, 2002 LMAO,LMAO, LMAO Kerry, you are a true diamond!!! I am tempted to make a metaphor but I shall refrain as I do mean it. My favourite is Fathers chasing their children with power toolsjraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #9 October 2, 2002 Lips like pedals?-------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #10 October 2, 2002 QuoteLips like pedals? That's what I was thinkin.... Gas = long and thin Brake = short and fat ?it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,146 #11 October 2, 2002 QuoteLips like pedals? It only works if you speak American and pronounce "t" as "d". Like (simile?) "rose pedals" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #12 October 2, 2002 Quotea door is a jar I don't think that qualifies as a metaphor. Hilarious as it may be to yell at my mom's talking New Yorker: "No it's not! It's a door!" - I"m not sure that's really what that phrase is trying to accomplish.it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #13 October 2, 2002 QuoteQuotea door is a jar I don't think that qualifies as a metaphor. Hilarious as it may be to yell at my mom's talking New Yorker: "No it's not! It's a door!" - I"m not sure that's really what that phrase is trying to accomplish. My favorite sign is: "For dust and temperature control, this door must remain closed at all time." If a door remains closed at all times, doesn't that make it a wall? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoby 0 #14 October 2, 2002 QuoteOops! These are similes, not metaphors. Pedantic. However, the really pedantic response is that similes are metaphors. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #15 October 2, 2002 >If a door remains closed at all times, doesn't that make it a wall? If a guitar is never played, what does that make it? Quote - Well don't point, even. - Don't even point? - No. It can't be played...never...I mean I.... - Can I look at it? - No. - Don't look at it. - No, you've seen enough of that one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cajones 0 #16 October 2, 2002 Not if you don't need to control dust and temperature at all times. You could open it when you don't need to control these... The laws of physics are strictly enforced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 2,146 #17 October 2, 2002 QuotePedantic. However, the really pedantic response is that similes are metaphors. Really? And I always thought metaphors were like similes. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #18 October 2, 2002 "If a guitar is never played, what does that make it? " If it has no strings, a planter. Fill it with dirt and some attractive ferns. If it is near the refrigerator, and has a few dents on one side, then it is a pesticide. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #19 October 2, 2002 I like Douglas Adams' classics: The food synthesizer dispenses something that tastes almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #20 October 2, 2002 Another Douglas Adams: The space ship hung in mid air in exactly the same way bricks don't. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #21 October 2, 2002 For more mind-boggling similes and metaphors, read anything by Tom Robbins: "Jitterbug Perfume" "Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas" "Another Roadside Attraction" And my favorite: "Still Life with Woodpecker". "The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FliegendeWolf 0 #22 October 3, 2002 Quote- Well don't point, even. - Don't even point? - No. It can't be played...never...I mean I.... - Can I look at it? - No. - Don't look at it. - No, you've seen enough of that one. Ha! Have you noticed that in the very next concert scene, Nigel is playing this guitar?A One that Isn't Cold is Scarcely a One at All Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #23 October 3, 2002 My favorite... QuoteLong separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36a.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other fromTopeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. Thanks for the laugh, BF.....made my morning ! I laughed hard and long -- as hard as Clay in a pasture full of sheep, and as long as one of Skreamer's exit points. Don Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
