f1freak 0 #1 October 9, 2002 Q: What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle? A: A dead poodle. A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 10-year-old son standing at the barn door with wide-eyes, soaking in the whole event in complete awe. The farmer thought to himself, "Great, he's 10 now—it's about time I started explaining the birds and bees to him. But no need to jump the gun by getting too complicated. I'll just let him ask the questions and then I'll answer." The farmer continued helping the calf out of the birth canal and then toweled him down. When everything was over, the farmer walked over to his young son. "Well, son," said the farmer, "do you have any questions?" "Just one question, Dad," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?" A couple is lying nude in bed. The man says, as he moves closer, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you." Joe goes to his optometrist to have his eyes examined. The doctor tells him, "Joe, you've got to stop masturbating!" "Why, Doc?" Joe asked. "Am I going blind?" "No," said the optometrist. "But you're upsetting my other patients!" Q: What has two legs and bleeds profusely? A: Half a cat. Q: What has 75 balls and screws little old ladies? A: BINGO.HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fudd 0 #2 October 9, 2002 dead poodle.... :) best one I've heard for a long time... :) anyway... This man came into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender, being a bertender, saw that he was down and asked him:- Why so sad?- I had a fight with my wife, and she said she wouldn't speak to me for a month.- Oh, then you should celebrate! That's no reason to be sad.- It was a month ago today... There are only 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pack40 0 #3 October 9, 2002 Joe goes to his optometrist to have his eyes examined. He says: -I need glasses with 2 dipters. The optometrist replys: -As you came through the shop-window instead of the door I would recommend 6 diopters. OVER Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #4 October 9, 2002 The State of South Carolina is planning to introduce a new TV series called "Survivor, South Carolina Style." The decision was in response to the continuation, by a major cable network, of their popular Survivor series. The contestants will start in Easley, travel south through Powdersville, down to Pelzer and Piedmont, then continue to Lower Anderson straight to Iva, continuing to Abbeville and Antreville. They will then proceed to Due West, on to Ninety Six and Saluda back towards Honea Path/Belton, all by secondary roads while consuming several quantities of Papst Blue Ribbon beer. Each will be driving a Gremlin (without a muffler) with a large sign on each door that reads, "I'M GAY, I VOTED FOR AL GORE, I'M IN AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP, I'M HERE TO CONFISCATE YOUR GUNS AND DALE EARNHARDT WAS QUEER." The first one to make it back to Easley alive wins!Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cajones 0 #5 October 9, 2002 I'm in! Wait... what's the prize? The laws of physics are strictly enforced. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #6 October 9, 2002 Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful." Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blow-job." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #7 October 9, 2002 Q: Why is Urine yellow and Semen white? A: So guys can tell if they're cumming or going.... And if you thought THAT was bad, take a look at the pic I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homer 0 #8 October 9, 2002 I herd this from my brother who is a lawyer. I worn you it isn't pretty. Q- Why do you put babies feet first into a blender? A- So you can see the expression on their face. What a sick F$#@ he is. CSA #699 Muff #3804 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nubain1 0 #9 October 9, 2002 I had a jewish friend of mine who loved this one.please don't take offense if you're jewish. What's the differance between a jew and a pizza? A pizza does'nt scream when you put it in the oven. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
