Mixed emotions- an "EX" topic

[ECVZZ 0]

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Nahh...in the case of my x my son would be better off if she was dead.

O.k...all points are well taken. I happen to come down with Clay on this one though. And notice I don't give the same charitable smile that Clay does!

She can pay for her own medical through her employer a lot cheaper than I can through mine, and I've never asked for a cent of support from her (although my attorney wants to).

She doesn't have any serious illness, and this will just force her to accept responsibility for herself. My attorney says she should start paying for 50% of our son's medical, but I said no...I'll continue to pay for that.

Keep in mind that this is the "mother" who knew my son was smoking dope at 13, let him do it at her house, and threw a royal Bitch fit when I found out and started him in drug awareness classes and I went to with him (because she was afraid something would be mentioned about her "tolerance").

She also lets him run the "hood" when he's with her for 2 weeks (shitty neighborhood), and does her best to counter any disciplinary action that I take with him. At the minimum, she tells him what an "ass" I am, and keeps shit stirred up with him when I work to keep him on the straight and narrow.

I could go to court and have her visitation revoked at the drop of a hat! Guess I should've mentioned this before, but I was a little giddy about a minor "fuck you" to her.

Long and short of it: I guess I am an evil asshole! I enjoy it, and think I'm being charitable by not pulling out the stops and fucking her completely!

She wrecked my life, and is working to do the same to my son. I'm using measured responses though, instead of "nuking" her. I keep hoping that she will magically start being a mother to my son, instead of the corrupting influence that she has been, and continues to be.

I'm a few degrees more sober tonight, and can be a little more articulate and subjective (btw...Nick has been w/ her for the last week, so no...I'm not shitfaced with my son around).

In my currently sober state, I'll answer my own question. The BITCH deserves anything she gets, and more...today, I feel charitable though, so I'll let her continue to see him in hopes that she'll dig her head out of her ass!

Greg

[wmw999 2,589]

Frankly, it sounds like she's earned a lot of really bad consequences. Honest. Sounds like a real loser. Don't let her off the hook, just don't make it a personal thing either. Let her kids love her, they'll figure her weaknesses out (trust my -- my son has!). But if she can get insurance, it sounds like telling her that you were going to drop her, and then doing it, was exactly the right thing to do.
Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[SpeedRacer 1]

Damn, all of this talk about "getting back"at ex's is really depressing to me. I mean, I'm 37 & have never been married, although I've been in a few long-term relationships. But I do want to get married & be a father. But what if she winds up hating me as much as you all hate your ex's?? this thread is really bumming me out.

Speed Racer
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[mouth 0]

I think you are missing the point Speedy. Any relationship can go sour therefore you have to realize going into it

1. what your goals are
2. whether or not both your goals are attainable from the relationship
3. what you are willing to sacrifice in order to make things work out
4. be willing to work at the relationship EVERY DAY

My ex and I were never even on the same page from the start so we were doomed from the start. Yes, we did stuff to get back at each other at first but now we can at least tolerate each other. I do still enjoy getting the insurance check because he hid so much money from the IRS in his business that I get very little child support. Honestly I try very hard not to say anything negative about him in front of my girls. He does have some good qualities or I couldn't have stayed for 10 years, but I knew I couldn't stay there any longer or I would have totally lost my identity.

My girls now have two successful parents who love them. Granted I provide 85% of their support financially and emotionally but he is there for them. My ex and I even talk some now which was unheard of when we were married.

I guess the point of it all is you have to be willing to take the risk in any relationship or you will never be able to settle down with someone. Relationships are not all bad even when they go wrong.

My ramble for the day........

L

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[Airhead 0]

Yah, I think setting the emotional "thumb screws" on her is a little excessive...But why should she be on your medical? Did you have to pay alimony or somethin' like that??
Really dude, you need to let it go. ...And why the digging at old wounds to keep things from healing?? It is said that if you have a lot of emotions regarding your ex, even negitive- you are not over them yet. Really, who could possibly benefit from prolonged hostility?
I DO understand, dude should try harder yo MOVE ON. Dontcha think?

[kallend 2,150]

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Damn, all of this talk about "getting back"at ex's is really depressing to me. I mean, I'm 37 & have never been married, although I've been in a few long-term relationships. But I do want to get married & be a father. But what if she winds up hating me as much as you all hate your ex's?? this thread is really bumming me out.

I don't hate my ex; I just don't want to live with her. I try to be nice to her and it irritates her that I do. That's just a fact, I don't do it to irritate her. The reason that she's my ex is that nothing I could do would please her, so in the end I gave up and got GF.