Mixed emotions- an "EX" topic

[ECVZZ 0]

I hate spending money on an attorney, but everytime I file something new it makes me grin when I get the enraged call from my "EX". Maybe I'm just evil, I dunno.

Dropped her from my medical today (that'll save me $200-250/month) and can't wait to hear from her on this subject. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she gets the papers.

Sometimes I feel like an ass, but it makes me grin. Especially because I just shot her down in court concerning a change of custody.

I must be evil. Nothing moral could make me feel this elated!

HAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oops, sorry. I can't contain myself. Question is: am I an evil asshole??? I've had custody for 3-1/2 years, btw...since the divorce.

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[quatorze 1]

Nah, you're not evil.... screw da byatch

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[moodyskydiver 0]

Quote

Is this what you were looking for?

Good luck with all the "ex" crap.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[ECVZZ 0]

ROFLMFAO!!! Thanks Amber, couldn't fit the occasion better!!

Greg

[Zennie 0]

Nah.

There's a part of me that would love to get back at my ex in some way. But why should I waste any more energy on her?

Sometimes the best revenge is to just never see their face again.

- Z
"Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

[quatorze 1]

LMAO and now I get to clean the Mountain Dew off the monitor here at work

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[moodyskydiver 0]

Trust me, I've had many a fantasy of running over my ex with my truck nice and slow. I've sent him many a bad vibe as well. Sometimes its therapeutic and sometimes its just wasted energy, as Zennie was saying. As painful as it seems, I know its all karma and he'll get his in the end w/o my help. God help him when his payback time comes...

Sometimes things turn for the better, but some wounds just never heal.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[moodyskydiver 0]

Thank you. I do my best.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[Dumpster 0]

Nope- You're doing just fine, emotions like this are normal - (I've been divorced since '97, with generous visitation rights with our 3 great kids-)
My best revenge was to get away from the messed up little town, and get my life on track and be happy - It Worked! I talk about how great life is, and the kids won't shut up about how great thier visits are, and she gets angry 'cuz she's still stuck in the same dead end posisition, with he same deadbeat boyfriend, and the biggest event is the county fair-

Life is GOOD!!!!! Success IS the best revenge!!

Easy Does It

[flyhi 24]

Quote

am I an evil asshole???

It's business, it's not personal, right?

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[ECVZZ 0]

Quote

It's business, it's not personal, right?

Actually, a little of both.

G. Jones

"I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea."

[mouth 0]

If you are evil then I guess I am too. Not onlu did I drop my ex from my insurance I kept the kids and the judge actually made him pay half of their insurance! He doesn't pay much child support but it does me good to get that check from him with insurance in the for column when he doesn't have any.

It's not b*tch...it's Ms. B*tch to you buy!!!

Lisa

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[rhino 0]

Any SANE person would like payback in some shape or form.. You feeling good about it is human. As long as the kids don't see you gloat or her being upset no harm is done..

[billvon 3,120]

>Question is: am I an evil asshole???

All of us have some degrees of evil in us. I do know that it's important at some point to just let go. I went through being madly in love with someone to hating them pretty intensely, but I wasn't really at peace with myself until I could just let it all go (which took seven years.) Don't kid yourself that you're really free of them yet - hating someone to the extent that you take joy in their suffering indicates you still have a close relationship with them (not a good one, but a relationship nonetheless.)

You might also want to consider how your kid(s) will take this. Kids learn what they see, not what you tell them. If they grow up seeing this sort of nonsense, that's how they will learn to deal with others.

[bmcd308 0]

Once again, I find myself agreeing with billvon. You gotta let go.

No, you're not evil for wanting some payback. But you'll find over time that the desire for payback fades, and you really want is to be happy. The sooner you let go, the sooner you can find your own happiness outside the realtionship.

BMcD...

----------------------------------
www.jumpelvis.com

[Deuce 1]

OK I'm reading down the thread and I start trying to articulate how I agree with you.

If you do your best to be fair, to be generous, to take the high road, and someone keeps poking at you, it's OK to take pleasure in your ability to beat the sh*t out of them. But only when they've left you no other recourse.

I guess it's about not mistaking kindness for weakness.

It's about doing the right thing. Once you get your opponent down, in whatever contest, don't put the boots to them. That's wrong.

She doesn't have a right to screw with you. Using the appropriate amount of force, a freaking lawyer, to square things away is the right thing. Getting a thrill from seeing justice done may feel a little evil "How do you like me NOW?", but it's not. Bankcrupting her for fun would be like putting the boots to her.

Justice isn't evil. But vengeance can be.
Don't do anything you don't want to explain to your kids. Your kids are like Segador, they see everything.

JP

[skymama 37]

As far as medical insurance is concerned, I would think it would be in your best interest to have a healthy mother for your children. SO, if you dropping her is going to make it difficult for her to get insurance, or too expensive for her budget, I don't see how that could make you happy. She can't be a proper mother to your children if she has an illness that she can't afford to go to the doctor to get proper treatment.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[happythoughts 0]

"Kids learn what they see, not what you tell them. "
True. It isn't easy, but it is true. My son wouldn't talk to me for an hour after I picked him up (13 years old). Never said a bad thing about mom though: "We still both love you. We just have grown apart (nice fiction)." When he started seeing some truth: "Your mom has some great qualities, but she's not perfect and that's ok." Talk about your ex's good qualities too. "She's quite smart/hard-working/etc."
Your kids should feel that 1-You both love them. 2-They have two parents who are great people but just don't live together because adults can change their minds. 3-The kids should take character qualities from each parent and become a better adult than either of you.
My son is less naive, more caring, more fun, and less self-conscious than I was at his age. A lot of that was his mother's input. His success at meeting his serious adult responsibilities is mostly mine. It's a balance. Don't let your hate for your ex mess up your kids happiness.
Hmmm...however, a harmless way to mess with your ex is to mention how skinny your new honey is. The self-critical side will drive herself nuts.

[Jessica 0]

Quote

As far as medical insurance is concerned, I would think it would be in your best interest to have a healthy mother for your children.

That was my exact thought when I read the original post. To drop her with no warning, it seems to me, in indirectly fucking with the kids.

Skydiving is for cool people only

[lummy 4]

Having been there and done that, I'm definitely in agreement with Bill on this one...


Well said as usual Bill

I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Quote

As far as medical insurance is concerned, I would think it would be in your best interest to have a healthy mother for your children.

That was my exact thought when I read the original post. To drop her with no warning, it seems to me, in indirectly fucking with the kids.

Dropping someone with no warning is potentially a little more damaging than just being a good jab. However, it is not his responsibility to see that she has insurance. She is an adult, she can acquire some health insurance herself. Granted, she may be a little strapped for cash, but everyone suffers a little financially in divorces. I'm sure they both are.

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

in indirectly fucking with the kids.

Nahh...in the case of my x my son would be better off if she was dead.

[kallend 2,151]

I take the high road.

I pay my ex her maintenance a day early every month. I go over in person and smile at her.

I send her a card on her birthday and a present at Christmas.

It irritates the hell out of her

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

It irritates the hell out of her

I don't talk to mine at all. That's far worse for her. She types 3 page emails that I don't bother respond to. THAT drives her nuts.....

[wmw999 2,589]

Quote

"Kids learn what they see, not what you tell them. " ... Your kids should feel that 1-You both love them. 2-They have two parents ... Hmmm...however, a harmless way to mess with your ex is to mention how skinny your new honey is. The self-critical side will drive herself nuts.

I wrote a long and awesome post that I seem to have deleted with a single unrecoverable keystroke. Shit.
But the upshot is that I'm the noncustodial mom of an 18-year-old college sophomore who is an awesome person, and who is MUCH better off because his parents were able to use their (very) different skills. My son decided to live with his dad (he needed him) about 2 1/2 years after we split up. He turned out better because of it. His father didn't spend enough time with our son when he lived with me, and that changed, and it really made our son feel better about himself.
My son has been known to tell friends that divorce isn't all that bad. He knows how to love, and how to give, and that each of his parents loves him, and that neither of them is perfect. There are things he doesn't and does like about each of us, and that's OK. He's a wonderful guy, and becoming a wonderful adult.
This is much easier on my brain than getting custody and X number of dollars a month. Since I'm really lazy, that's a good thing.
Sorry about all the homilies, but I feel really strongly about this, and this is a pretty strong-feelings week anyway (see "nattering about death" if you're curious).
Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)