lummy 4 #1 November 13, 2002 Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff has assured them that the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off immediately. After that, the doors open and two men walk up the aisle. Both are dressed in pilot's uniforms. Both are wearing dark glasses, but one is using a seeing eye dog and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin, but the men enter the cockpit. The door closes and the engines power up. The passengers begin glancing around nervously, searching for some sign that this is a practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, but instead plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin! At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a bit sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says "You know, Bob, one of these days they're going to scream too late and we're all gonna die!I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #2 November 13, 2002 When Santa runs out of Prozac... Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with. Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone. Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE, Jimmy Jimmy, That whiney-begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses asses, and losing all my cash at the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know! Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer. YeR FReND, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell! Santa ***************************************************** Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do. Love, Michelle Dear Michelle, It blows my fucking mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed, like "Chutes and Ladders." Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who the fuck names their kid "Francis" nowadays? Santa ******************************************************* Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I'm skipping your house... Santa ******************************************************* Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky"; that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams! Santa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #3 November 13, 2002 Lummy...from the title I might think you were a little gun shy from that "School Projects" thread. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lummy 4 #4 November 13, 2002 LOL... No, but I didn't want to start another thread if there already was one.... But, you never know, this one COULD be true!!! I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. I promise not to TP Davis under canopy.. eat sushi, get smoochieTTK#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sonic 0 #5 November 13, 2002 Why are women so bad at parking cars in small spaces? Cos we tell them THIS is 12 inches ----------------------------------- It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wlie 0 #6 November 13, 2002 Don't blow the cover dude! My other ride is the relative wind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
