Drunk Logic

[Cornholio 0]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, "Well, y'know, that's right. But how in earth did you know that?"

The drunk said, "Cause you're uglier 'n shit."

Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast!
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool!
bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump

[wlie 0]

Did she slap you?

My other ride is the relative wind.

[jtval 0]

while I was in korea, A girl I know was going to the store. she's asked if anyone needed anything.
of Course I didnt, but I had her buy :
a spatula
a jar of vaseline
and a huge single wrapped pickle.

hahah I wish I saw the face of the ppl in the store. the only thign she gpot was butter. so add those on the same conveyer belt..

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[freeflir29 0]

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of Course I didnt, but I had her buy :
a spatula
a jar of vaseline
and a huge single wrapped pickle

I'm going to use that!!!!

[blondeflyer7 0]

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of Course I didnt, but I had her buy :
a spatula
a jar of vaseline
and a huge single wrapped pickle

I'm going to use that!!!!

***Becky starts running for cover****

[jtval 0]

I dont even wanna know when Clay. jsut make sure you have a specail friend to play with when you do

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[QuickDraw 0]

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while I was in korea, A girl I know was going to the store. she's asked if anyone needed anything.
of Course I didnt

So...er...you just threw these things away when she got back yeah ?

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[blondeflyer7 0]

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just make sure you have a special friend to play with when you do

Don't give him any ideas

[freeflir29 0]

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Don't give him any ideas

So...uhh......how you doin?

[blondeflyer7 0]

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So...uhh......how you doin?

In a very mischievious mood....but I BET no-one could tell

[freeflir29 0]

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In a very mischievious mood

Soo...uhhh..wanna get in some mischief? Naked mischief?

[blondeflyer7 0]

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In a very mischievious mood

Soo...uhhh..wanna get in some mischief? Naked mischief?

Clay never gives up

[freeflir29 0]

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Clay never gives up

Us ugly people have to put in that much more effort.

[blondeflyer7 0]

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Us ugly people have to put in that much more effort.

Ugly...nah....just persistant

[happythoughts 0]

Last Wednesday night in Publix...The girl ahead of me was wearing a baggy set of sweats and had a half-gallon of fudge ripple ice cream, a large sub, 8 cans of cat food, and a video rental.
I was going to say hi, but I didn't need any more permanent scars. (Not that I don't have great social skills.)

[freeflir29 0]

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The girl ahead of me was wearing a baggy set of sweats and had a half-gallon of fudge ripple ice cream, a large sub, 8 cans of cat food, and a video rental

Well...she either just had a break up or has taken to being single.......FOREVER.

[wingnut 0]

hey all.. if ya see me in eloy or somewhere else for that matter...ask me to tell ya about the time i went to the store when i was in highschool for my mom...and the wierd lady i met there.....no it's nothing sick but way to long a story to tell online........(no it's not a novel sizzed story..just online wouldn't do it justice...)

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

[happythoughts 0]

"when i was in highschool for my mom..."

How is she ever going to learn to be self-sufficient?

[jtval 0]

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while I was in korea, A girl I know was going to the store. she's asked if anyone needed anything.
of Course I didnt

So...er...you just threw these things away when she got back yeah ?

eew actually she keep the pickle and spatula one of the guys that was there took the vaseline. I was pretty fukn nausiated!

she showed me the pickle everytime I I went to her room and said"see, I didnt use it! she was a funny chick! but a little too drunk for me!

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[JumpNFly 0]

I love that joke...

The key to walking on water... Is knowing where the rocks are

[happythoughts 0]

Dude, vaseline is way too expensive. Go for the tub of Crisco. $1.99 and you're good to go. You can also use it at the beach. When you start to sizzle, flip over.

[jtval 0]

i perfer to use tabasco sauce.

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[freeflir29 0]

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ask me to tell ya about the time i went to the store

Under no circumstances should you ask him this. Trust me....

[wingnut 0]

clay, shut your pie hole...and let me tell the story to em...it really is good.....

______________________________________
"i have no reader's digest version"

[phatcat 0]

I'm not making this up -

When I was in high school I worked at a grocery store. One late night I was BSing with a cashier and this old lady (I'm talking grandma here) walks to the checkout and buys one cucumber and a jar of vaseline. We both had to run to the back room, clenching our stomachs and trying not to fall on the floor laughing.