lauril 0 #1 November 15, 2002 Lottery... A woman rushes home, bursting through the front door of her house yelling to her husband: "Pack your bags honey, I just won the lottery! All $5 million of it... Woooohoooo!" "That's great, Darling!", he replies, "Do I pack for the beach or for the mountains?" "Who cares," she replies, "Just F%#&k off!" The Geography of a Woman Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas. Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty. Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit. Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary. Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away. Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future. After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there. The Geography of a Man: Between the ages of 15 - 70 a man is like Zimbabwe - ruled by a dick. And one for the ladies... Three guys, a lady and myself were sitting at the bar talking about our professions. The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E, you know.... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist" The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K, you know.... Double, Income, No Kids" The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know... Rich, Urban, Biker" They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?" She replies: "I'm a WIFE, you know.... Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etcetera" Then, they suddenly look at me and immediately I said... I'm a BITCH....!! What does a Bitch mean? BABE IN TOTAL CONTROL of HERSELF So ladies, next time somebody calls you a Bitch........... SMILE...........And say Thank You!!!!!!!! Had to edit: In the last joke it wasn't really me, 'cause I ain't a she Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
