Real paper articles?

[Sonic 0]

Got these emailed to me


allegedly real newspaper articles

Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van,
because
they cannot issue a description. It's a special branch vehicle, and
they
don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)

After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, 30 year old Michael
Howard
of
Leeds changed his name by deed poll to Yorkshire Bank PLC Are
Fascist Bast*rds. The bank has now asked him to close his account,
and Mr. Bast*rds has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by
cheque, made out
in
his new name. (The Guardian)

Would the congregation please note that the bowl at the back of the
church
labelled 'for the sick' is for monetary donations only. (Churchtown
Parish
Magazine)

There must, for instance, be something very strange in a man who ,
if
left
alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on. (Glasgow
Evening
News)

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth
was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard
spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The
Times)

At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard
on
the
spot and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied that he
was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help,
the
wind
had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening
Express)

Mrs Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience
with
her reminiscences of the German prisoner of war who was sent each
week
to
do her gardening. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she
recalled, "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the
crocuses came up
in
the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out Heil
Hitler". (Bournemouth Evening Echo)

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It's like something out of that twilighty show about that zone