Watching Family Die

[phatcat 0]

I've just figured it out. It seems so obvious, but I guess I didn't want to admit it. I'm talking about why I hate the holiday season. I hate it because it means getting together with family, and that includes my grandfather. My grandfather who is in a wheelchair, who can't talk, who needs food fed to him, who lives in a nursing home, who straddles the line between "not quite dead" to "almost dead". I know damn well I sound cruel, but it's the truth, and I hate it. When I'm with him it just kills me wondering what is inside his head. His body doesn't work but maybe his mind still does. Maybe he has tons of ideas to express in his head but his mouth won't let him do it. If that's the case then I can't even imagine the kind of pain that would bring. I personally would rather be dead than to be trapped in that eternal prison.

I guess I have no real point that I'm aware of. It's just one of those things that has been on my mind and I don't know what to do with it.

[misskriss 0]

I wish I could put into words....but I can't...just not that good of a writer..... but I'll tell you this...I understand..

[usmcdannyboy 0]

I hear ya

Iv'e been pretty comfortable with my approaching death but to see someone who you remember being so active and alive, now so near death is hard thing to deal with. the sad thing is it will happen to most of us and its a part of life.
all we can do is accept it and live our lives to the fullest so we will have plenty to reminisce about in our dreams.

I am the light my son...What you seek is fire

[Jib 0]

Perhaps it'll be easier for you if you consider that one of the things residing in his head is a feeling of happiness to see you or know that you're there. I know it meant something to my grandfather when he was in a nursing home as well as my late father when I would go home.

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the depth of his depravity sickens me.
-- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt

[Viking 0]

My grandfather on my dads side got liver cancer in 96. we made the mistake of putting him in a home. I was young and stupid and when my mom and dad would go visit him sometimes i didn't. That has haunted for the rest of my life. He died just a couple days after we left to go back to school, i never had the chance to say goodbye to him, to tell him how much i loved him. Not being able to do that screwed me up for a couple years.
Then last year when my grandpa on my moms side had a stroke. I was there for every bit of down hill slide that followed. I would go to school then rush home and help take care of him. At first there were certain things that i thought i couldn't do (helping him use the john) But after he fell one night I forced myself to do it. After that i was like an in home nurse for him. One the funniest things i have ever heard in my life came out of one those days helping him use the john. He was sitting on the can doing his thing and let out this MASSIVE fart, i mean one i would be proud to call my own. He kinda laughed and looked up at me and said "HONK HONK!!!" I would never have that awsome memory of my grandfather if i hadn't of spent every spare moment of time i had helping him in any way i could. When he died just after new years i was happy knowing i did all i could to help him. The point of my story is doing everything you can while he is still alive!! The memories i have from those six months are worth more than anything in my life.

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[jraf 0]

Live fast, die hard and when you die, do it with your boots on!

jraf

Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui.
Muff #3275

[ifallout 0]

Maybe he is aware, and maybe he would appreciate a few kind words, spoken just like you were talking to him not at him... I bet he doesn't get much of that.

best wishes

Bill

have fun, love life, be nice to the humans

[bobsled92 0]

Well you have a point.
My Father was my hero. He had come back prematurely from a hostage retrieval deep somewhere in Columbia away from Medijene?
I got a chance to be with him and he kept encouraging me to move on. The chemical exposure, from E.O.D. that he had done prior, took him from us in 3 months of knowing he was sick. I feel lucky to have had that time.
He told me he wasn't sure he was going to make it out of Columbia. He thought he was going to die with his boots on.
I'm grateful that I got to say good bye. When his condition got worse and his morphine went up, I knew he was ready to go, he just wanted to spare me from his suffering.
That's a lot of love.
Wishing a family member didn't have to suffer MORE is a prayer of mercy but, only they know when they are ready to move on.

_______________________________
If I could be a Super Hero,
I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year.
http://www.hangout.no/speednews/