skreamer 1 #1 November 26, 2002 Like a woman : 1 Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry basket according to lights, darks, whites, man-made or natural. 2 Walk to the bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If husband seen along the way cover any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. 3 Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. 4 Complain and whine about getting fat. 5 Get in shower. 6 Look for facecloth, armcloth, loincloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 8 Wash hair again with Cumumber and Lamprey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. 9 Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamprey conditioner with enhanced natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. 10 Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw. 11 Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake bodywash. 12 Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that it's all come off. 13 Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot. 14 Turn off shower. 15 Clean all wet shower surfaces. 16 Spray mould spots with flash bathroom spray. 17 Get out of shower. 18 Dry with towel the size of a small African country. 19 Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel 20 Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails or tweezers if found 21 Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 22 If husband seen, cover any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend half an hour getting dressed. Like a man : 1 Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. 2 Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "woo" sound. 3 Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs. 4 Admire size of knob in mirror, scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff. 5 Get in shower. 6 Don't bother to look for wash cloth - don't use one. 7 Wash face. 8 Wash armpits. 9 Laugh at how loud farts sound in the shower. 10 Wash privates and the surrounding area. 11 Wash butt, leaving hair on soap. 12 Shampoo hair but do not use conditioner. 13 Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. 14 Pee (in shower) 15 Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because the shower curtain has fallen outside the bath for the whole duration of your shower. 16 Partially dry off. 17 Look at self in mirror again, flex muscles and admire size of knob (again) 18 Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on floor. 19 Leave bathroom light on and fan on. 20 Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, grab knob, go "yeah baby" and thrust pelvis at her. 21 Put on yesterday's clothes True! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rdutch 0 #2 November 26, 2002 That is way too funny, That perfectly describes exactly what a man does when they take a shower. Heck that is what a bathroom mat is there for, to catch water. You forgot to include: Lay on bed your girlfriend just made, soaking Wet, and watch tv until you cool off from your scalding hot shower. Ray Small and fast what every girl dreams of! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #3 November 26, 2002 Quote 1 Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. 2 Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "woo" sound. 13 Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. OK...I can ATTEST to these...HA HA HA! That is WAY TOO funny. I don't, however, fit any of the girl shower categories. I'm usually the one, also, walking naked to the shower and flashing my na-na's at the peeping boyfriend making the "Woo" soundPaint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChileRelleno 0 #4 November 26, 2002 ROFLMAO Chile's ribs now hurt! ChileRelleno-Rodriguez Bro#414 Hellfish#511,MuffBro#3532,AnvilBro#9, D24868 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kevin922 0 #5 November 26, 2002 Quote Quote 1 Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile on the floor. 2 Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife seen, shake knob at her making "woo" sound. 13 Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. OK...I can ATTEST to these...HA HA HA! That is WAY TOO funny. I don't, however, fit any of the girl shower categories. I'm usually the one, also, walking naked to the shower and flashing my na-na's at the peeping boyfriend making the "Woo" sound Woah, a dream woman. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #6 November 26, 2002 HA HA HA....it's true, it's true...ask BZ. Actually, I do it so much, he's quite used to it now I also do the *just-before-the-shower* danceNot sure if I should give away ALL my secrets, but I also do the shampoo Mohican. "Baaabbe, am I sexy now?" Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpaceUnknown 0 #7 November 28, 2002 Quote HA HA HA....it's true, it's true...ask BZ. Actually, I do it so much, he's quite used to it now I also do the *just-before-the-shower* danceNot sure if I should give away ALL my secrets, but I also do the shampoo Mohican. "Baaabbe, am I sexy now?" From the looks of your avatar, I totally agree with kevin922!!James AAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #8 November 28, 2002 Quote 13 Make shampoo Mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror. oh how i miss shampoo Mohican. unfortunatly the army ran him off and he has yet to return :(____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
