SpeedRacer 1 #1 December 6, 2002 The all-purpose thread So I was on the ride to altitude arguing with a fellow jumper about Iraq. My ex stood up and flashed her boobies at the pilot so we could get extra altitude. We jumped out, and I pulled low, as usual, at about 700 feet just to piss everyone off. I jump a small eliptical loaded at about 3:1 even though I'm just off student status, so anyway, I hook-turned and swooped in and I wound up landing dick-first in the back of a sheep. Evidently I had nailed the prettiest one in the flock, because Clay came running at me in a fit of jealousy and shot at me with an unregistered handgun. --------------------------------------- I think that about covers everything. Thank you all for coming, but there will be no need to post anything more for the rest of the day. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #2 December 6, 2002 Quote think that about covers everything. Thank you all for coming, but there will be no need to post anything more for the rest of the day. [Laugh] LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! But you forgot the discriptors in your story...Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #3 December 6, 2002 Quote I think that about covers everything. You didn't mention BEER!!!!!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #4 December 6, 2002 *LOL* ..... now just add something about cars and gentle jibes about Europe and the US always bickering... and a few more mentions of beer... ....... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bbarnhouse 0 #5 December 6, 2002 What about sex, drugs and rock-n-roll? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 December 6, 2002 Just stay the hell away from that one.....she's a hottie.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #7 December 6, 2002 OK here's the rest of the story: ...Well Clay finally calmed down, after I let him have sloppy-seconds with the sheep. We eventually shook hands. "After all," he said, "at least you're a fellow American, not one of those European/British skydivers with their socialist, gun-controlling governments and wimpy-assed, toaster oven-sized cars!" We had a good laugh over this, and since I owed beer (it being my first sheep-shagging under canopy) I drove out to the liquor store in my SUV. But I still managed to piss everyone off by buying cheap-assed lite beer. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #8 December 7, 2002 all we need now is for Aggie Dave to post a gratuitous cowgirl/boobie picture, and this thread will be complete! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #9 December 7, 2002 Right on! That was creative, whimsical, well written, and well presented. Do you realize that those that don't know you will think you've got your sh*t together? So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #10 December 7, 2002 Hey, heeeeey, you never mentioned the Norwegian lesbians who feed me grapes and know how to sing. My life is nowhere near complete without them. Ah and my favourite topic: Freedom of Speach jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RevJim 0 #11 December 7, 2002 Quote all we need now is for Aggie Dave to post a gratuitous cowgirl/boobie picture, and this thread will be complete! Don't forget one of these............EDIT NWS!It's your life, live it! Karma RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #12 December 9, 2002 Thanks Jim! I couldn't find a cowgirl/boobie pic, I don't know where Dave finds them Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #13 December 9, 2002 You've just got to look in the right places. --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DYEVOUT 0 #14 December 9, 2002 I hope your SUV is HUGE, and gets shitty gas mileage. I'm assuming, since you pulled at 700 feet, and only had one out - you had no AAD - or maybe it malfunctioned. RSL??????? ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #15 December 9, 2002 Quote AAD - or maybe it malfunctioned. RSL??????? shit! How could I have left RSL's & AAD's out? It's always somethin'! oh well, maybe those are more of a Gear Forum topic. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
