happythoughts 0 #1 December 11, 2002 My son works on a help desk. He had a call last night that went like this. Caller: When I click to dial, I am getting "no dial tone". I know my phone is working. HD: Do you have a modem? Caller: Yes HD: Is the phone line plugged into it? Caller: Yes HD: Well...the computer thinks that you are not connected to a telephone line. Is there another jack that you could plug it into? Caller: Yes HD: Maybe your current line jack selection does not have dial tone. Why not try the other one? Caller: OK HD: Dammit. Not the one we're talking on... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WFFC 1 #2 December 11, 2002 I manage the help desk as part of my responsibilities...this is an actual call I rec'd one day: caller: I was cleaning my desk so I unplugged my keyboard and my mouse. I'm done now and they don't work now. Can you help? Me: Did you plug them back in? caller: No. Do I need to?----- ~~~Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #3 December 11, 2002 QuoteI manage the help desk as part of my responsibilities...this is an actual call I rec'd one day: caller: I was cleaning my desk so I unplugged my keyboard and my mouse. I'm done now and they don't work now. Can you help? Me: Did you plug them back in? caller: No. Do I need to? Then you know what a NPI error is. For the non-techies, it is Not-Plugged-In. "My printer isn't working." "Try this...try this...try this...wait a minute...Is the little red power light on?...ok, glad I could help." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbrian 0 #4 December 11, 2002 Some people were put on this earth ONLY to test our professionalism! In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
n2skdvn 0 #5 December 11, 2002 thetes always the PEBKAC error if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN my site Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #6 December 11, 2002 Quote Some people were put on this earth ONLY to test our professionalism! When I worked at a hospital with 3 mainframes in the basement, we had a temp controlled room with a raised floor. At the end was "the apple", a red button recessed into the wall with a plastic flip-cover. The button is the emergency power shutdown for the room with a fire-control halon release. The maintenance guy said that he was just wondering if it worked. Surprise... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #7 December 11, 2002 I love when people call in on the phone that's not working. ME: Voice help desk, how can I help you? CALLER: My krrhsshrh isn't working ME:Is it cutting in and out on you? CALLER: kkkkrkrrkhhshshrhrrhr ME: Call back from a working phone Chris --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbrian 0 #8 December 11, 2002 QuoteThe maintenance guy said that he was just wondering if it worked. Others were put here to test our self-restraint! In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WFFC 1 #9 December 11, 2002 Quote thetes always the PEBKAC error ? Haven't heard that one before...----- ~~~Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WFFC 1 #10 December 11, 2002 QuoteOthers were put here to test our self-restraint! from laughing at them in their face or from choking them to death?----- ~~~Michael Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #11 December 11, 2002 Quote Quote thetes always the PEBKAC error ? Haven't heard that one before... P.roblems E.xists B.etween K.eyboard A.nd C.hair...So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 December 11, 2002 Quote I love when people call in on the phone that's not working. ME: Voice help desk, how can I help you? CALLER: My krrhsshrh isn't working ME:Is it cutting in and out on you? CALLER: kkkkrkrrkhhshshrhrrhr ME: Call back from a working phone My son says that after 10pm, about a third of his callers are drunk. They start drinking around 7. Around 10 it's, "Hey, let's fix the computer..." If it is slow, he fixes the problem and then messes with them about the volume of porn that he has noticed on their machine. "Whhhhaaaa...what do you mean? Porn?" (He can't tell from the help desk.) Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbrian 0 #13 December 11, 2002 both! In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #14 December 11, 2002 QuoteMy son says that after 10pm, about a third of his callers are drunk. They start drinking around 7. Around 10 it's, "Hey, let's fix the computer..." If it is slow, he fixes the problem and then messes with them about the volume of porn that he has noticed on their machine. "Whhhhaaaa...what do you mean? Porn?" (He can't tell from the help desk.) That's great, I wish I could mess w/ the customer but we have to be professional sounding. These aren't everyday people, my customer is a very popular computer company and alot of 'em are cool but there are always a few that you just wanna reach through the handset and smack em. Chris --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 December 11, 2002 QuoteQuoteMy son says that after 10pm, about a third of his callers are drunk. They start drinking around 7. Around 10 it's, "Hey, let's fix the computer..." If it is slow, he fixes the problem and then messes with them about the volume of porn that he has noticed on their machine. "Whhhhaaaa...what do you mean? Porn?" (He can't tell from the help desk.) That's great, I wish I could mess w/ the customer but we have to be professional sounding. These aren't everyday people, my customer is a very popular computer company and alot of 'em are cool but there are always a few that you just wanna reach through the handset and smack em. Chris Everyone at the hospital was cool except for the doctors. Most people were just doing their job and we were helping them. A doctor once told me, "You have to get that printer fixed, peoples lives are at stake in a hospital." "Uhhh, isn't that the one that you print the bills on, for signature?" "Just fix it..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slowfaller 0 #16 December 11, 2002 Quote Everyone at the hospital was cool except for the doctors. Most people were just doing their job and we were helping them. A doctor once told me, "You have to get that printer fixed, peoples lives are at stake in a hospital." "Uhhh, isn't that the one that you print the bills on, for signature?" "Just fix it..." Or: Caller: This is an emergency! Someone needs to come out now and fix this phone!! It hasn't worked for days!! Me: Well ma'am, our tickets have a 24 hour turnaround. Caller: Well that's not good enough, I want a sev 1, I want to escalate Me: Why did you wait day's to report the trouble? Caller:What's the ticket number? Me: 11111111 Caller: (obviously embarressed) thanks Chris --"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
indyz 1 #17 December 11, 2002 I have too many of these stories. Like the Ph.D who turned on her computer while it was wet (a stopped up sink had been left running upstairs overnight). She got lucky and only fried the monitor. Somehow, the computer and laser printer survived. The grad student who called me because she had jammed three Zip disks in three different drives. Turns out that she had figured out how to connect the parallel cable all by herself, but didn't realize that she needed to plug in the AC adapters, too. The head of the department (and Ph.D), who bitches about Microsoft because his cheap piece of crap USB floppy drive doesn't work with his TiBook. The Ph.D who wanted me to give both of his computers (one of which was not approved by the department) the same IP address, and promised to only turn one machine on at a time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pds 0 #18 December 11, 2002 IO error. idiot operator.namaste, motherfucker. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,584 #19 December 11, 2002 Not really helpdesk, but close. A friend at a university was with one of his summer interns in the lobby when a receptionist complained that her printer wasn't working. The intern horsed around with it and discovered a pen stuck inside the printer. He put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. Wendy W. There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bwilling 0 #20 December 11, 2002 Yet another thread relegated to the gutter... sigh, won't these kids ever grow up... oh WAIT, that was Wendy's post!!! Too funny!!! "If all you ever do is all you ever did, then all you'll ever get is all you ever got." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,584 #21 December 11, 2002 Quote sigh, won't these kids ever grow up... oh WAIT, that was Wendy's post!!! See, you don't have to grow up. Anyway, it's much more fun in the gutter with everyone else there too Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #22 December 12, 2002 http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/ - Jim"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wlie 0 #23 December 12, 2002 Quote Ph.D Permanent Head DamageMy other ride is the relative wind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
