Get used to it or get over it!

[akaGQ 0]

I was talking to a friend of mine thats still somewhat new to the skydiving world and she said that she's thinking about quitting because of all the male comments she gets and how much she gets hit on...I told her basically well if you cant handle it you don't need to stay cause your always gonna get it whether your male or female and thats just the way it is with skydivers, it will come and go you just have to give back the crap you get. Like when it comes to friends or family which is what we all are. No hard feelings. I still get shit all the time, so what, life goes on. She then basically told me in fewer words to goto hell. I asked a few close friends if I was wrong in what I said and they all said i was correct, but what do other people feel on this. I didn't mean I didn't want to remain her friend, however she asked and I'm blunt when asked a question straight forward.


Blue Skies
-G.

- GQ

... it was the love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty ...
-Charles Lindberg

[lewmonst 0]

you, like most skydivers, are blunt. She probably can't take hearing that from you just as she can't take the comments and being hit on. If it makes her uncomfortable, maybe she's not used to the attention. She has 2 options, quit, or get used to it. I think just about everyone will say that it happens at their dz as well... there are several posts in the Women Only Forum which have discussed this.
It would be a shame to drive off a new female skydiver becuase of this bs, that's the opposite of the guys' intentions...
Attention can be good and bad. She must choose how she deals with it. I have told other females new in the sport to figure out where their comfort level is, and stick to it. Some women are comfortable running around half naked, and others get offended at even the mention of boobies... If she makes it clear where her comfort level is, the men at her home dz will likely get to know her and respect that comfort level... after they've pushed to see how far it will go.
I don't think skydivers should change in this sense. i love the fact that skydivers are blunt and say what's on their mind. There's nothing more valuable than honesty. Most men everywhere probably have all the same thoughts going through their head, but few vocalize it. I'm glad skydivers feel comfortable enough to say what's on their mind around me. But I draw my line clearly, and I deal with the hassling well...

if she's still unsure, she can PM or email me and I'd be happy to talk to her further.

in the meantime, keep her away from Scotty Carbone

edit to say: don't forget to tell her that skydiving is worth it!!! don't give up because of the guys!

http://www.exitshot.com

[Viking 0]

if you can't take the heat......................

I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver
My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin

[Skystorm 0]

I'm basically the only active female skydiver left in my country. And boy, do I get all those comments and bs, but I just take it as it is. A load full of bull. I don't let it interfere with my skydiving or my personal life. I will even start joking with some of the guys and their wives/gf don't seem to mind, because they all know what we are like.

So like Viking said, if you can't take the heat... But it will still be sad to see a fellow female skydiver quitting because of this.

Gene Police: "YOU!! Out of the pool, NOW!!!"

[grega 0]

How is she doing in real life than. It's not just in skydiving, it's everywhere. There are thousands ways of how to shut someones mouth. And life is not a cake, you have to learn to survive in it...
And if that, makes her quit skydiving, than she doesn't enjoy skydiving enough.

"George just lucky i guess!"

[quatorze 1]

yeah what Lew said

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i love the fact that skydivers are blunt and say what's on their mind.

Kewl... Lew sux

Just joshing ya, ya know I love ya

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle

[TheBile 0]

The social aspect of the skydiving world is a much bigger part of it than I originally anticipated. If she doesn't feel comfortable in that world then I can see how it would drive her to quit skydiving at an early stage. If she stuck it out for a bit longer I think she would grow more comfortable with the male BS, regardless of whether that kind of laddish behavior is right or wrong. If she had a skydiving friend who didn't resort to that kind of BS and was a little more tactful in encouraging her to stick with it then maybe she would feel more comfortable and continue in the sport.

On the other hand, maybe she was just simply shit scared of jumping out of a plane again and used it as an excuse to quit.

Gerb

I stir feelings in others they themselves don't understand. KA'CHOW !

[freeflir29 0]

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But I draw my line clearly, and I deal with the hassling well...

Yeah...she won't even jump with some people.....even when they ask repeatedly......

[mujie96 0]

Crap, I'm not supposed to ENJOY being hit on?!

Jess

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming....

[mouth 0]

Like I've said before...I think it, I say it. I have no problems "playing" with the guys. You grab...I grab, you kiss....I kiss back, you Bitch me...I bastard you. That is how it is. I love all the BS as it has been put. I enjoy the chance to let loose and not be Ms. Prim and Proper.
Maybe if your friend could see how the rest of us take and give up close that would help her. Skymama jumps at Deland so maybe she could talk to her and show her that it really is all about sharing the love.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[kevin922 0]

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Like I've said before...I think it, I say it. I have no problems "playing" with the guys. You grab...I grab, you kiss....I kiss back, you Bitch me...I bastard you. That is how it is. I love all the BS as it has been put

Hey Lisa! Where do you jump?

[freeflir29 0]

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I have no problems "playing" with the guys. You grab...I grab, you kiss....I kiss back, you Bitch me...I bastard you. That is how it is

If you smack her ass she'll "Kick you sqauaww in da nuts..."

[mouth 0]

Now Clay...admit it between you and Hixon enough was ENOUGH. I actually had bruises from that day thanks to you guys.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[PLFXpert 0]

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Skymama jumps at Deland so maybe she could talk to her and show her that it really is all about sharing the love.

HA HA HA HA! Skymama is the resident bullshit princess I don't think she'll have much sympathy...Skymama dishes it just like she takes it; and that's why she's my girl!

While I can attempt to understand this girl's feelings, I can't say that I sympathize. If you don't like something, say so. I don't typically bother listening to people whine when I ask them, "Well, did you tell so-and-so that's not cool, and not do say/do that again?"....."Ummm, no, but...." BUT NOTHING...how can you expect people to treat you the way you want to be treated if you don't let them know where your boundaries are? It doesn't matter how shy or non-blunt you may be, it is still up to you, and you only, to let people know when they're not treating you appropriately. Then, and only then, if the problem persists, are you allowed to whine about it and get outside help to take care of the situation. Some people don't realize (and I'm speaking in general, not about this girl. I don't know her and therfore, can't say anything specifically toward her) that in life, you ALWAYS have a choice. The choices might not be the ones you want, but you always have them.

Speaking of boundaries....I have few, so bring on the taunting and teasing and BE PREPARED to get it back

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[jumperconway 0]

Maybe there's just a little more respect shown at my DZ than others, but it's usually pretty obvious whether a girl enjoys the attention or not. If she does'nt, she usually won't keep getting it but if she does she will get it in heaps! I don't believe that we,as skydivers are so different in most aspects of life outside of jumping out of p/g airplanes and living day to day for it. We often forget that we are all like children in that we always push to see where the limit is. And with other people, skydivers or not we should respect their space once we understand where that comfortable space is. If someone does'nt appreciate the comments/complements then the people giving them should respect the fact that they are intruding in protected airspace and should respect that and back off. If that leaves them all alone, that may well be their choice and we should respect that.

[happythoughts 0]

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....I have few, so bring on the taunting and teasing and BE PREPARED to get it back

I hear you're a pest, I'm trying to avoid you. I have been called to do a seminar next week in DeLand. Apparently, their women are out of control. Some sort of "princess" over-population.

[freeflir29 0]

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I actually had bruises from that day thanks to you guys.

Sorry sweety.....didn't know Jim had been giving you a hard time too. I was...ummm...a little enebriated. Worked well as a pain killer.....and the swelling did go down after some time...

[mouth 0]

My point exactly. Andrea is just as likely (or maybe more so) to give the guys shit. Maybe if you two talked to her she would realize it isn't meant in a bad way.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[PLFXpert 0]

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some sort of princess overpopulation

Yea, there's me, and there's Skymama...there can NOT be two princesses....therefore, I nominate myself as Queen Skymama is more of the princess-type anyways; I just like how the crown looks

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[wmw999 2,584]

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it's usually pretty obvious whether a girl enjoys the attention or not. If she does'nt, she usually won't keep getting it but if she does she will get it in heaps!

And, to my way of thinking, that should be the way it is, for both men and women. There are men out there who don't like attention, right???

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[freeflir29 0]

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There are men out there who don't like attention, right???

Actually.....I tend to get a bit more than I like sometimes. It's funny....maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or something...but every time a "new" chick walks on the DZ there is a never ending stream of "warnings" about Clay this and Clay that. It's all in fun and usually they chill out pretty quick and realize I'm not as bad as the "hype." The annoying thing is....it tends to really HOSE me because it immediately puts them on the defensive!!! As long as the attention is the "right" type I'm plenty good with it.

[skymama 37]

I love how I'm pulled into the "princess" and "bullshitter" threads even when I'm not posting!

It's a shame the friend in question doesn't enjoy the playing that goes on between the men and women at the dz. That's part of what I think makes hanging out at the dz so much fun! But, it does come naturally to me to be a flirt and a smart-ass, so if that's not her style than I can see how she might be uncomfortable at times.

I would like to tell her that overall I think the men at the dz's do respect the skydiving chicks because there are so few of us that actually take this sport on. So, I really don't think very many of the guys are really trying to be offensive to her. Most dz's just have that friendly, playful vibe, and that's the way the guys are used to relating to the women. But, I'm sure if she made it plain to a guy that she didn't appreciate his behavior, then he would back off. She does need to make it clear though. And if he still doesn't back off, then there are enough men around that do respect women that would take care of him.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[freeflir29 0]

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I would like to tell her that overall I think the men at the dz's do respect the skydiving chicks

Uuumm...YES ...Absolutely!!!

[mouth 0]

At least I warn them after they've spent the day hanging out with you. Sometimes we are you about them too.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[happythoughts 0]

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some sort of princess overpopulation

Yea, there's me, and there's Skymama...there can NOT be two princesses....therefore, I nominate myself as Queen Skymama is more of the princess-type anyways; I just like how the crown looks

Skymama does the queen-wave pretty well. And she has her bearers to carry her from place to place.

The downside of the princess thing was being married to Prince Charles. That boy has ears that are larger than an African elephant and twice as flappy.