I'm in deep shit, what should I do?

[akaGQ 0]

Well if it wasnt one thing itd be another.

Women seem to be the greatest mystery of all times.

- GQ

... it was the love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty ...
-Charles Lindberg

[rgoper 0]

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plead insanity and beg for forgiveness

this ALWAYS works! that, and you may have to spend a little extra time *cough* "downtown" i do it all the time (last 22 years anyway) plus "forgiveness is easier than permission!" don't take any wooden nickles.

--Richard--
"We Will Not Be Shaken By Thugs, And Terroist"

[freeflir29 0]

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It's the wrong time of the month!

Damn....that's scary. That was my first thought when I read this. Maybe I really DO understand women.

[KawiZX900 0]

wait till your dog starts dragging its ass on the carpet, leaving racing stripes on your carpet. and its to old to even yell at anymore.

Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky

[happythoughts 0]

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It's the wrong time of the month!

Damn....that's scary. That was my first thought when I read this. Maybe I really DO understand women.

That is the key. Once you understand women, you don't have to agree with them. That's how that butt-munch John Gray sold so many Venus/Mars books. That rat-bastard made a mint off a basic lie and f-ed up the lives of the rest of us. He convinced all the women that it was a "communication" issue. Once they communicated correctly, guys would agree with them. Turns out that even with better communication, they may still be wrong.

She needs to apologize for being upset. Thank him for washing the dog. Make him a nice sandwich.

Communication breakdown,
always the same...
havin' a nervous breakdown,
drives me insaneeeee...

[goose491 0]

I'm with Happythoughts on the whole "Mars/Venus = Crock!" viewpiont. Perhaps us guys should addapt some female 'comminication' techniques to get our way. Here are a few ways to go about your situation in a more 'female' manner.

Your wife is yelling at you for giving the dog a bath and making a mess?

Start crying uncontrolably and sobbing inconsolably, whinning about how you can never do anything right. (you're going for pitty here fishing for a response like "tha's okay dear, don't worry about it it's not that bad." It's is even possible to obtain an apology here!!!)

or

Say something like:"Well, maybe if YOU'd lend a hand and clean the dog once in a while instead of wasting all your time with that stupid [insert favorite hobby/passtime here], there wouldn't BE such a mess now!!!! (Often, a woman can avoid critisism by beating you to the punch. Insulting your partner's favorite thing to do will always boost your power in a situation)

or

Stonewall her in the bedroom. No sex for long enough, she'll say sorry for the whole thing. This one may be harder to do as a guy but almost always works for the ladies.



There are other options but these are the best three IMHO. If you employ one of these tactics, you will truly be speaking a language that the femal species will understand.

Hope it helps!
Nicholas

P.S. If your woman finds out you're on to her techniques, I don't know you.

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[steve1 5]

I hope she never finds out where all those racing stripes are coming from. I'll really be in deep dodo if she does. And Goose I think I will try crying uncontrollably. I mean whatever works, and I am a pretty good actor. I wish I had known more of these tricks when I was younger. Think of all the women I could have had. I mean this is really valuable info. you folks are contributing, and I'm really learning a lot. I may even write my own outer space book. Steve1