Monday funnies

[happythoughts 0]

HOW TO TELL IF YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA

You make over $250,000 a year and still can't afford a house.

It's drizzling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named "Breeze".

You can't remember ... is pot legal?

You've been to a baby shower for an infant who has two mothers and a sperm donor.

You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans must be grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian beans.

You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

You can't remember... is pot legal?

A great parking space can move you to tears.

The guy in line at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, and looking like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your rent.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It's sprinkling out, and there's a report on every news channel about "STORM WATCH 2001"

Hey... is pot legal?

Over 85% of the cities, towns, and streets start with San, Los, El, La, Santa, De La, or De Los.

You whine when there are 2 overcast days in a row.

A family of 6 owns 4 vehicles, 2 of which are SUVs.

Even if the store is across the street, you drive there. If you live in southern California, it will take you 30 minutes to get there.

Everyone knows that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which are over almost as soon as you realize what's happening.

Yeah, you're sure... pot is legal.

You know the answer to this riddle:
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
(Answer: It doesn't matter. Californians can't afford to turn on the lights anyway.)