Christmas spirit my ASS!!!!

[moodyskydiver 0]

Last week I told you all about my friend who is a single mother of two.She lost her job and her kids were getting nothing for Christmas.I tried to do what I thought best and spent over $200 I didnt have so that her kids would have a nice Christmas.

The plan was for her and her kids to come to dinner tonight and find the persents Santa had "misplaced" for them at my house. Heh! WRONG! I show up at her house to pick them up and there sits her ex husband.The same alcoholic,abusive,drug addict she had spent countless nights crying on my shoulder about. Apparently he got out of jail (on domestic abuse and drug charges) today and she decided to take him back. Because I have never liked the scumbag I was informed that I am not welcome at "their" house while he is there.Because this is Christmas Eve and his first night home..she didnt think it proper to leave him home alone(I'd be damned before he would set foot at my house) and so she said her and the kids would not be coming to my house for Christmas. Her exact words were "nevermind".

So now I sit,hurt,and pissed because I tried to do something good and right for someone less fortunate and it came back to bite me in the ass. Another lesson learned.This was the LAST time I tried to help someone.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[lippy 918]

Sorry to hear that Amber. I was amazed to hear what you did for the family, and then...Merry Xmas to you, eh? Hopefully it'll be nice for the family to have him around.

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This was the LAST time I tried to help someone

Don't say that, just because it bit you in the ass this time. Have an EXTREMELY MERRY CHRISTMAS and an awsome New Year...

I got nuthin

[LouDiamond 1]

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Last week I told you all about my friend who is a single mother of two.She lost her job and her kids were getting nothing for Christmas.I tried to do what I thought best and spent over $200 I didnt have so that her kids would have a nice Christmas.

The plan was for her and her kids to come to dinner tonight and find the persents Santa had "misplaced" for them at my house. Heh! WRONG! I show up at her house to pick them up and there sits her ex husband.The same alcoholic,abusive,drug addict she had spent countless nights crying on my shoulder about. Apparently he got out of jail (on domestic abuse and drug charges) today and she decided to take him back. Because I have never liked the scumbag I was informed that I am not welcome at "their" house while he is there.Because this is Christmas Eve and his first night home..she didnt think it proper to leave him home alone(I'd be damned before he would set foot at my house) and so she said her and the kids would not be coming to my house for Christmas. Her exact words were "nevermind".

So now I sit,hurt,and pissed because I tried to do something good and right for someone less fortunate and it came back to bite me in the ass. Another lesson learned.This was the LAST time I tried to help someone.

Sounds like your friend has her own demons to deal with. Don't let that overshadow your generosity towrds her and her children. You can still give the presents to her and the children and the same ends is met. You shouldn't be upset that she is trying to deal with her life, if your generosity is true it would be sufficient enought that she accept the gifts and you go on about your life. Your generosity hasn't bitten you in the ass, to do the kind thing is to not expect anything in return for it...that is true generosity that will find it's way back to you.

"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required"
Some people dream about flying, I live my dream
SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING

[moodyskydiver 0]

Thats just it..she WOULD NOT accept the gifts simple b/c she knows I dont like her ex. Because he would be offended if she accepted gifts from someone who doesnt like him and because I didnt buy him anythinghe'd feel left out.I try to be a good friend and get slapped for my troubles.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[LouDiamond 1]

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Thats just it..she WOULD NOT accept the gifts simple b/c she knows I dont like her ex. Because he would be offended if she accepted gifts from someone who doesnt like him and because I didnt buy him anythinghe'd feel left out.I try to be a good friend and get slapped for my troubles.

So does kindness only occur if the other person accepts your kindness or does it occur when you make an attempt?

An act of kindness does not hinge on the other party. It begins and ends with you making the effort. Do not take it personal,to do so shows self righteousness, which is not part of being kind. Being kind means opening yourself up to other elements and willingly taking that chance in order to help another, regardless of the outcome.

"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required"
Some people dream about flying, I live my dream
SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING

[moodyskydiver 0]

So I'm self righteous because I'm hurt by all of this?

It doesnt matter because its over.Forget it.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[misskriss 0]

it's perfectly understandable to be hurt....I would be too. It's hard to watch the ones we love continually beat themselves against the same brick wall. Don't stop caring......don't stop giving.. we need to do so no matter what the outcome.. I'm thankful she has someone like you in her life..

[freefallfreak 0]

moody,

You DO have a right to your own feelings. You also have a choice to not feel hurt. After all, it wasn't you that screwed up. You had your heart in the right place and that tells me that you are basically a good person. So, kick the hurt to one side and keep on being yourself. That's just one way of dealing with it as I am sure there are countless other ways. And if that doesn't work, you can always bribe a pilot to fly over her house and shove a watermelon out from about 12,000 feet.

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[Opie 0]

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And if that doesn't work, you can always bribe a pilot to fly over her house and shove a watermelon out from about 12,000 feet.

FFF

I recommend a block of ice, all the evidence evaporates Also make sure only the b/f is home
edit--also remember to exit the ice much earlier than you think you should. I'll be traveling at nearly a 45 degree angle till impact

Astroid, musta been

[Dumpster 0]

Take the gifts to a shelter ot someplace similiar, and give them to some one who will appreciate them.

Easy Does It

[freefallfreak 0]

I recommend a block of ice, all the evidence evaporates Also make sure only the b/f is home

Ahh, a well thought out plan of action...

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[hobbes4star 0]

man that sucks sorry to hear that. hopefully she will come to her senses before it's to late..

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[n2skdvn 0]

take the presents to her house put a note on them that say "from santa", knock on the door then run away. that way the kids get the presents!

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[hobbes4star 0]

and will make the kids day to...

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[freefallfreak 0]

n2skdvn,

Ditto....good suggestion.

FFF

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[n2skdvn 0]

Christmas is for the kids and the kid's at heart!
dont let the scroge'es ruin it!!

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[hobbes4star 0]

well said... deep down we are all just a bunch of kids.

if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right?

[ramon 0]

At least you did what you thought was best. Maybe the kids will get some presents even if you don;t get to spend christmas with your friend.
ramon

"Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.", Ambrose Bierce.

[skydiverbrian 0]

return all the presents and go jumping.

and to second the previous suggestions.... your act of kindness is NOT invalidated by its refusal. you tried your best and that's all you can be expected to do. Merry Christmas!

In a world full of people, only some want to fly... isn't that crazy! --Seal

[Michele 1]

Dunno about you, Moody, but I'd try this...

I'd drop the stuff off on the front porch, during the evening. Let the mom find them in the morning or whatever. If that's not to your liking...take them to a shelter. Or a church. Or the local hospital. The sick children there need extra cheering up. Or, take them to the local cops, who usually know the down and out-ers who need a hand.

Sorry that this occurred this way. But what Lou said is right - it's in the giving that we find the true joy...not in the appreciation of it. Sure, it's nice to be appreciated; you like it, I like it, everyone likes it. But that's an added bonus. The benefit is in the giving, without any expectation. That's one of the kewlio things about giving something anonymously...you can't expect anything in return.

Merry Christmas-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[weid14 0]

ya know what, just cause her kids can't use them, doesn't mean others can't. you did right, she didn't appreciate it, don't let that taint you. your generousity IS Christmas spirit, she didn't have to take it for you to have it. her loss, don't let it get you down.

[dbattman 0]

Over the years I have become a firm believer that people create their own personal hell.

Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it. Just try not to let a hell you have not created become yours as well.

[ShivaDas 0]

You did good Amber,
Real good.
I would bet eventually your friend will realize this.
but try not to look for it

Lots of peace and good feelings
your way for xmas day!!

Just havin fun!
Paul

[moodyskydiver 0]

Thanks for all the advice y'all. This all still sucks.As bad as it seems,I cannot remain her friend after she has slapped me down so many times.She has used me for the last time. Last year she didnt have the $$ for her oldest daughter to come visit her for Christmas,so I bought her plane ticket so that she could be here.I've helped her with groceries and bills.I was there for her when she found out she had cancer...when her husband ran out on her b/c "he couldnt handle seeing her die from cancer." I was there every time he beat her and did drugs around her children.(I tried to escort them into another room for "hide and seek" or to watch a movie away from him and his habits.) I've tried so hard to help this woman,but she apparently doesnt care enough to help herself.I've tried...I've failed at being her friend,so no more.I will have nothing more to do with her again...ever.If I am a bad person for it then so be it.I cannot drain myself on behalf of someone who doesnt care.

I ripped all the wrapping paper off of the gifts I bought for her family and threw them into the "Santa's Helpers" box at the mall.I wash my hands of the whole situation.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[quatorze 1]

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Thanks for all the advice y'all. This all still sucks.As bad as it seems,I cannot remain her friend after she has slapped me down so many times.She has used me for the last time. Last year she didnt have the $$ for her oldest daughter to come visit her for Christmas,so I bought her plane ticket so that she could be here.I've helped her with groceries and bills.I was there for her when she found out she had cancer...when her husband ran out on her b/c "he couldnt handle seeing her die from cancer." I was there every time he beat her and did drugs around her children.(I tried to escort them into another room for "hide and seek" or to watch a movie away from him and his habits.) I've tried so hard to help this woman,but she apparently doesnt care enough to help herself.I've tried...I've failed at being her friend,so no more.I will have nothing more to do with her again...ever.If I am a bad person for it then so be it.I cannot drain myself on behalf of someone who doesnt care.

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Over the years I have become a firm believer that people create their own personal hell.

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I ripped all the wrapping paper off of the gifts I bought for her family and threw them into the "Santa's Helpers" box at the mall.I wash my hands of the whole situation.

And I wouldn't sweat it that much, even the Santa's Helper tactic, as long as it was done with good intentions, as well as the original reason for the purchase has probably put a couple of drops in your Good Karma Bucket.

I'm not afriad of dying, I'm afraid of never really living- Erin Engle