DYEVOUT 0 #1 January 20, 2003 Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinking Soul . . Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." --Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. --Ernest Hemingway A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her --W.C. Fields When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --HennyYoungman 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? --Stephen Wright When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! -- Brian O'Rourke Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862! --unknown Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser. --unknown To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group --unknown The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. -- William Butler Yeats Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. -- Catherine Zandonella Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. -- Anonymous What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? -- Tee Mans Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. -- Michelle Mastrolacasa I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a Frontal lobotomy. -- Tom Waits You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer. -- Frank Zappa Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -- Winston Churchill If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. -- Humphrey Bogart Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. -- Kaiser Wilhelm You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor. -- Anonymous You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin Beer - Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine. -- unknown ----------------=8^)---------------------- "I think that was the wrong tennis court." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites