RichM 0 #1 January 20, 2003 Converted to a poll. I have a beautiful 9 year old daughter, and I know the time is coming. But at what age should I tell her the graphic details of fornication? And how? I'd rather she learned from me rather than some pissed up lusty skydiver in the bar one evening Or should I just leave it all to the wife? Share your experiences Rich M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #2 January 20, 2003 >Or should I just leave it all to the wife? Absolutely! Delegation is the key success(and to avoiding awkward situations). I did vote for "now", but I'm probably the last person you'd want advice from on raising children... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
coconutmonkey 0 #3 January 20, 2003 Have her locked away in a convent until she's old enough.... say... 35 or soDon't envy ya on this one man Hearts & Minds 2 to the Heart- 1 to the Mind- Home of the Coconut Lounge, Spa, & Artillery Range Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #4 January 20, 2003 I voted "now". Explain it before they can possibly do it. That way, they will know what the heck is going on when the little boy next door wants to play doctor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndyMan 7 #5 January 20, 2003 Either put a locking chastity belt on her, or start educating her now. 40% of 13 year old in the US have had sex. Do you want yours to be one? Better start talking about it... _Am__ You put the fun in "funnel" - craichead. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyIvan 0 #6 January 20, 2003 It could be ANYTIME, depending on the level of 'mental maturity' of your daughter. My 2cents__________________________________________ Blue Skies and May the Force be with you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #7 January 20, 2003 Quote 40% of 13 year old in the US have had sex. Do you want yours to be one? I believe you, but that is some really scary shit! Welcome to a new dad's nightmare. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #8 January 20, 2003 Now! Studies have shown that girls are maturing faster than in past years, and some girls start having their periods as young as age 10. She'll be scared to death of she is one of those girls, and she has no idea what's going on! I have a 14 year old daughter and 11 year old son. What I did with them was I got books that were geared toward their reading level, and read it with them just as I would have read any other book. I didn't rely entirely on the book to give them their information. It just gave me something to get the conversation going.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #9 January 20, 2003 The sooner the better. My parents sat me down and had the discussion when I was really little, not even killing kittens yet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freebird 0 #10 January 20, 2003 I have an 8 year old and I do not think she is ready to hear actual details about how babies are made. I think 10 or 11 is better. There is a great book called " A Child is Born" its tells it all in a tasteful overtone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jfields 0 #11 January 20, 2003 Quote I think 10 or 11 is better. There is a great book called " A Child is Born" its tells it all in a tasteful overtone. My parents had the book "How babies are made". As I recall, we had that discussion before I found the Playboys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jams 0 #12 January 20, 2003 i started playing doctor when i was four. My first reaction when i saw susie's vulva was to taste it.One of my sisters skipped taking her daughter to a pg-13 movie to avoid such exposure, and a few thoughts came up that i can share. However, i don't have children, so i am not experienced in such matters. but for what its worth: 1. Education is really an advantage here. A class in human reproduction and responsibility should be part of every school curriculum, especially in light of AIDs. Better to start with knowledge and be able to choose experience, than be thrown by experience that you might not have chosen. Especially at that age. 2. She is probably more aware of sexuality than you know. There is so much detailed on TV now that it would be difficult to ignore it, or even shelter someone from it. Then again maybe not, i don't know your household. Either way, a solid knowledge base goes a long way. 3. You could always just ask her if it is a conversation she wants to have now, or some time in the future. This will require a level of communication with her that you presently have and can deepen, or give you an opportunity to establish. 4. It might be better left to to a woman to explain. i had a class in human sexuality when i was in the seventh grade, and when i was in the eighth grade a girl wanted to take me all the way... i didn't feel like i was ready so i put it off for a year. In retrospect i could have waited another 3 or more. There is a training in human sexuality that the San Francisco Sex and Information hotline gives once a year. This is not a level that someone in grade school should be exposed to, and i think you might have to be legal to attend. It is way outside the box, or beyond what you would even expect, but it does foster understanding, rather than fear and allow compassion for humanity. But then maybe if it was part of the sixth grade it would have allowed some folks to understand themselves better and pevented some very dammaging behaviors. best wishes for the road ahead ~m Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #13 January 20, 2003 My son was not the type to ask questions; what Skymama did was exactly what I did with him, except that I also got a video that I made him watch about puberty (however, I didn't watch it with him, but I was in the next room). He was SO not interested in discussing this with me, but better me than his buds in school! I'd go with the general approach for now; i.e. generally what happens, and general information about the fact that birth control exists and what types it is. In awhile (and the length of that while depends on her), get a little more specific, etc. I'd much rather give my son information before he actually needs it; that way it's not advice, and he already has it, and might even have thought about it, when he actually does need it. Makes him uncomfortable, but hey -- that's my job, and I'm proud of it! It must have worked pretty well; he's 19 and hasn't made anyone pregnant yet... Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #14 January 20, 2003 Quote What I did with them was I got books that were geared toward their reading level, and read it with them just as I would have read any other book Were they able to explain the confusing parts? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CrazyThomas 0 #15 January 20, 2003 Explaining sex to your children? This should never be done. Let them find out on their own. As in, when Dirty Johnny is smart enough to "educate" your daughter, that is the right age. LMFAO!!!! Thomas Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kmcguffee 0 #16 January 20, 2003 I haven't had to explain to my kids yet (they are both boys ages four and six). When they stop thinking girls are yucky I'll take that as a key to talk to them about it. I don't think there is a standard age that everyone should go by. I think it depends on the child. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do." Ben Franklin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #17 January 20, 2003 Someday, I will have kids. I plan to tell them when they ask about it, using books, videos, Internet, etc. Personally, I learned from other kids in school (they didn't have sex ed at my public schools until years after I was done). I occasionally asked my mom, and what she told me just confused me - she's not the smartest woman and doesn't explain things very well. It took me years to sort out what she was trying to say, much less figure out the truth. Also, they won't be allowed to go near skydivers until they're 30. Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #18 January 20, 2003 Actually, the answer to your question is: How old are you? You might not be ready for some of this yet Also, on Parent Soup there are a whole lot of message boards dedicated to information about this. There's a "parents of preteens" board that's probably pretty good. Wendy W. There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RichM 0 #19 January 20, 2003 Quote Also, they won't be allowed to go near skydivers until they're 30. Wise thinking Rich M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RichM 0 #20 January 20, 2003 Quote Actually, the answer to your question is: How old are you? You might not be ready for some of this yet I'm 38. Heh, am I ready? Who knows :)Rich M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #21 January 20, 2003 I would talk to her now. I believe that I was about 9 or so when my mom sat me down for "the talk". I remember being really embaressed, but, it was definitley a good call on her part. I've always been pretty open with my mom about everything and I think that it partly because she was so open with me about and took the time to really talk to me about sensitive subjests like sex. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RichM 0 #22 January 20, 2003 The majority of voters reckon sometime between now and 11, so I'd better start thinking about how. Thanks for the comments on books and videos - I'll do some research on whats available here in the UK. We've been allowing her to watch telly later in the evening and there are somethings she will see that I figure she will ask about when she's ready. I hope to go that easy route rather than the scarier "sit down down and lets talk about the birds and the bees" to which she might reply "why, do bees have willys?" It's complicated a little by having a 6 year old son too. Heh, life would be dull without challenges Rich M Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #23 January 20, 2003 QuoteWe've been allowing her to watch telly later in the evening and there are somethings she will see that I figure she will ask about when she's ready. I experienced late-night telly in the UK a few times. I saw some things on there that I'm still trying to figure out myself.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jasmin 0 #24 January 21, 2003 QuoteEither put a locking chastity belt on her, or start educating her now. 40% of 13 year old in the US have had sex. Do you want yours to be one? Better start talking about it... That's very very scary. I had a very mispent youth as the DZ brat (my rig came with it embroidered, I didn't even have to ask!) But I didn't find a guy worth losing my innocence (or what remained of it after a life spent on dzones) until I was 16 nearly 17.xj "I wouldn't recommend picking a fight with the earth...but then I wouldn't recommend picking a fight with a car either, and that's having tried both." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #25 January 21, 2003 BOY, ITS A GOOD THING CLAY ISNT HEREMy photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
