Gawain 0 #1 January 22, 2003 A Perfect Day For HER 8:15am - Wake up to hugs and kisses 8:30am - Weigh in 4lbs lighter than yesterday 8:45am - Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents of expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner. 9:15am - Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil 10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny, gay personal trainer 10:30am - Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry 12:00 Noon - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe 12:45pm - Catch sight of husband's/boyfriend's ex and notice that she has gained 14lbs 1:00pm - Shopping with friends. Unlimited credit. 3:00pm - Nap 4:00pm - 3 dozen red roses delivered by florist from a secret admirer 4:15pm - Light workout at club followed by massage from strong but gentle hunk who says that he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body 5:30pm - Choose outfit from expensive, designer wardrobe. Parade in front of full length mirror 7:30pm - Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners / dancers 10:00pm - Hot shower (alone) 10:50pm - Carried to bed. Freshly ironed, crisp, new white linen 11:00pm - Make love 11:50pm - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling 12:15am - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms. ------------------ For HIM 6:00am - Alarm 6:10am - Blow job 6:25am - Massive, satisfying morning dump while reading the sports section 7:00am - Breakfast. Rump steak and eggs, coffee and toast -- all cooked by a naked supermodel 7:30am - Limo arrives 7:45am - Several whiskeys en-route to airport 9:15am - Flight in personal Lear jet 9:30am - Limo to exotic golf club (blow job en-route) 9:45am - Play front nine (2 under) 11:45am - Lunch. Pie, chips and gravy, 3 lagers and a bottle of Dom Perignon 12:15pm - Blow job 12:30pm - Play back nine (4 under) 2:15pm - Limo back to airport (several whiskeys) 2:30pm - Fly to Monte Carlo 3:30pm - Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female supermodel crew (all nude) 4:30pm - Land world record Marlin (1234lb) on light tackle. 5:00pm - Fly home. Massage and hand job by Elle McPherson 6:45pm - Shit, shower and shave 7:00pm - Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated; 'N Sync arrested; marijuana and porn legalized 7:45pm - Dinner. Lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953); big juicy filet mignon followed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits 9:00pm - Napoleon brandy and Cohiba cigar in front of wall-sized TV showing NFL/NBA/MLB championships. 10:45pm - Drop down, gorilla sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies) 11:10pm - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing ale 12:15am - Night cap blow job 12:30am - In bed, alone 12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart, dog leaves the room. 12:36am - Giggle yourself to sleep.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #2 January 22, 2003 Quote12:15am - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms. go ahead laugh.....i think that is heaven.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
homer 0 #3 January 22, 2003 WHAT I thought this was going to be another one of those MAN vs. chick threads. I even had a good joke picked out too. CSA #699 Muff #3804 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #4 January 22, 2003 Quote12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart, dog leaves the room. Dude, I do that on jump planes all the time, that's on my list of "A Perfect Jump."--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Push 0 #5 January 22, 2003 Quote Quote 12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart, dog leaves the room. Dude, I do that on jump planes all the time, that's on my list of "A Perfect Jump." If you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Get away as fast as possible ROFLYou wish it was odourless. Or rather, we wish... 12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart. People jump out of your airplane. -- Toggle Whippin' Yahoo Skydiving is easy. All you have to do is relax while plummetting at 120 mph from 10,000' with nothing but some nylon and webbing to save you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #6 January 22, 2003 Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12:15am - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- go ahead laugh.....i think that is heaven.... mmmm...ditto! Nothing better than mind-blowing awesome sex and then curling up and falling asleep like that. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 1 #7 January 22, 2003 Quote Quote Quote 12:15am - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms. go ahead laugh.....i think that is heaven.... mmmm...ditto! Nothing better than mind-blowing awesome sex and then curling up and falling asleep like that. I gotta agree with both of you on this one.. Cept hopefully My arms are the strong ones CheersMy grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mattb 0 #8 January 22, 2003 Quote 12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart, dog leaves the room. Ahh - the simple pleasures. More enjoyable between waking up and the morning dump though. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoobieCootie 0 #9 January 22, 2003 Quote 9:15am - Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil Aren't frangipani flowers offered to the deceased? aka. funeral flowers? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #10 January 22, 2003 Pssssst...I have big arms... --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #11 January 22, 2003 Quote WHAT I thought this was going to be another one of those MAN vs. chick threads. I even had a good joke picked out too. Well share it with us dude! Lord knows I have hundreds to pick from... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #12 January 22, 2003 Quote12:35am - A 12 second, four octave fart, dog leaves the room. Dude, I do that on jump planes all the time, that's on my list of "A Perfect Jump." 10,500 feet - a 12 second, four octave fart, that forces pilot to turn on yellow light. Tandem dog opts to commit suicide and jump out ahead of time.Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #13 January 22, 2003 Quote Quote 9:15am - Soothing hot bath with frangipani oil Aren't frangipani flowers offered to the deceased? aka. funeral flowers? They make Leis (spelling? Hawaiian flower necklace)out of them also. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #14 January 22, 2003 Quote 8:15am - Wake up to hugs and kisses 7:30pm - Candlelit dinner for two 10:00pm - Hot shower (with significant other) 10:50pm - Carried to bed. 11:00pm - Make love 11:50pm - light touching and cuddling 12:15am - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms. Hmmmm.....with the edits above...sounds like an absolutely wonderful day. Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 January 22, 2003 At a retreat, Jill and John were told to individually write a sentence using the words "sex" and "love." Jill wrote, "When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like John and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act of physical sex with one another." And John wrote, "I love sex." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #16 January 22, 2003 Yep! and you give great hugs too. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
