hobbes4star 0 #1 January 23, 2003 > bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE > Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing > section in a swimming pool? > OK... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the > Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the > Tennessee Titans ? > If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one > enjoys it? > There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as > the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader > of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in > the liquor store or at Hooters > 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, > does he become disoriented? > 2. If people from! Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from > Holland called Holes? > 3. Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack? > 4. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? > 5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? > 6. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? > 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put > your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? > 8. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? > 9. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale > bread to begin with? > 10. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? > 11. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person > who drives a race car not called a racist? > 12. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? > 13. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? > 14. Why isn't the number 11 pronounc! ed onety one? > 15. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English > language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? > 16. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it > follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys > deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners > depressed? > 17. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? > 18. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? > 19. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men? > 20. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole > lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're > cramming for their final exam. > 21. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little > spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? > Toothpicks? > 22. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What > ! are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put > their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them > while they deliver the mail? > 23. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly > are the others here for? > 24. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. > 25. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning. > 26. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't > zigzag? > 27. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next > door went nuts. > 28. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose? > 29. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?if fun were easy it wouldn't be worth having, right? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveMonkey 0 #2 January 23, 2003 Quote When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put > your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? Easy, one Biritsh penny is about 1.6 American cents. So if someone gives you their 2 cents, you can't really give them 0.4 cents back ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ernokaikkonen 0 #3 January 23, 2003 > 7. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put > your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny? Duh.. Taxes, man, taxes! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
