Employee Evaluations

[akaGQ 0]

These are actual comments taken from employee performance evaluations

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together "

12. "A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

- GQ

... it was the love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty ...
-Charles Lindberg

[jessd 0]

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20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

Funny . I can think of a few people at my work that these comments apply too.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..."

[skygod7777 0]

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31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

hehe, that sounds like my sister

later

[masher 1]

This list has also done the rounds as the Royal Marines (well, British military at least...) officers apprasials.

The one from that list I like is:

His men would only follow this officer out of curiosity.

--
Arching is overrated - Marlies

[Zenister 0]

yeah its missing the one to the effect of..

"this medical officer has used my ship to carry his gentals from one brothel to the next all over the world"

____________________________________
Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[Gawain 0]

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11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together "

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!