19 things to remember

[n2skdvn 0]

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."


3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle...

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it to seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command...Very often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody giving a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

19. Your friends love you anyway.

if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
my site

[akaGQ 0]

I like #17

- GQ

... it was the love of the air and sky and flying, the lure of adventure, the appreciation of beauty ...
-Charles Lindberg

[jessd 0]

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15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

I don't agree with this one. I believe that birthdays are a person's personal holiday!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..."

[skygal3 0]

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6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

Wow. I am having an extremely difficult time learning that one right now.

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Never lick a steak knife.

or a razor blade.

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"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

I am an awesome driver!

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Your friends love you anyway.

havng a hard time with understanding that one too.

[blewaway5 0]

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2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

I always thought that word was "committee"

Truman Sparks for President

[mattb 0]

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3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

hence skydiving

[phatcat 0]

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6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it to seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command...Very often, that individual is crazy.

Interesting - those are three lessons I took away from my "meeting" (read: screaming match) yesterday that left me jobless.

[AirMail 0]

I like #19.

Patrick

--
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Postal Rodriguez, Muff 3342

[mujie96 0]

#14
Some drunk jerk told me the other night I have a mommy's belly. I want to kill him now.
This one is good advice, guys.

Just keep swimming...just keep swimming....

[Gawain 0]

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3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

Does that apply to skydiving? I might be in trouble then.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[dave610 0]

Now I have to change my signature.

[sunshine 2]

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Your friends love you anyway.
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havng a hard time with understanding that one too.

One day you'll know thats true.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[freakshow 0]

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3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

Does that apply to skydiving? I might be in trouble then.

Apply? I think skydiving's the reason it's on the list.

B.L. (the brain)

[freefallfreak 0]

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I have a mommy's belly.

Uhh, want me to kiss it and make it better...

FFF

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

"Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up."

[FallRate 0]

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18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

This is a quick and effective way of evaluating a potential mate on the first date.

FallRate

[QuickDraw 0]

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This is a quick and effective way of evaluating a potential mate on the first date.

Cute i suppose, but i'm still a blow-job man at heart.

-- Hope you don't die. --

I'm fucking winning

[Rookeskydiver 0]

14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

I am so bad!

PCSS # 1 Rookeskydiver
"Its a Wonka Bar"....."Go ahead Charlie open it, lets see that golden ticket"