PLFKING 4 #1 February 6, 2003 Sorry if these have already been posted (I can't begin to keep up with the volume on this forum). My vote is split between #4 and #6. ----------------------------------------------------- Darwin award nominees and winner for 2002. The Darwins are awarded every year to the persons who died (or almost died) in the stupidest way. These are named "Darwin Awards" because it is hoped that "Survival of the Fittest" means something, and that the stupidity of these unfortunate souls will not be part of the gene pool in the future. Enjoy. This year's nominees are: Nominee 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut. Nominee 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, Michigan, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft." Nominee 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, North Carolina. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear. Nominee 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a lawyer, demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper, crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the building's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. Nominee 5: [Bloomberg News Service]: A terrible diet and a room with no ventilation are being blamed for the death of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on his body and an autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. His diet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of other things). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears that the man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that was hanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows been opened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in his near-airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man with a huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuers got sick and one was hospitalized. Nominee 6: [The News of the Weird]: Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted. Nominee 7: [The Indianapolis Star]: A cigarette lighter may have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk, Indiana. A Jay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gun powder ignited. Nominee 8: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A man cleaning a birdfeeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheeled chair when the accident occurred, said inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears the chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer said. ----------------------------------------------------------- Don Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #2 February 7, 2003 well I don't feel so dumb now. no disrespect to the deceased, but gee wizz >>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #3 February 7, 2003 Saw this for the first time yesterday. http://www.markbarry.com/multimedia/movies/sucked-in.avi Any thoughts ? Some good vids on that page, some with some not so happy endings too. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 1 #4 February 7, 2003 That guy lived. It's now used in a training videoMy grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a97virago 0 #5 February 7, 2003 If you notice alot of these nominees were killed with firearms. I propose that we eliminate the waiting period on the purchase of firearms and instead institute an IQ minimum for the purchase of a gun. Just one man's opinion! Larry Larry A-43434 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,584 #6 February 7, 2003 Well, maybe we'd do more good for the human race if we were to institute an IQ maximum instead... Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a97virago 0 #7 February 7, 2003 Now THERE'S an idea! But how about issuing them flint-lock rifles. They're always back-firing! Larry A-43434 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #8 February 7, 2003 ya know, they keep recycling the same darwin award stories every year. frickin come up with some new ones, dammit!! Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cameramonkey 0 #9 February 7, 2003 I agree. I have seen "this year's award" with the lawyer that went thru the plate glass window for the past 3 or 4 years. Too bad there arent that many lawyers really dying each year ;)Two wrongs don't make a right, however three lefts DO! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ScottishJohn 25 #10 February 7, 2003 This guy didn't make it onto the awards this year but it was a good effort. Maybe next year he can try something else. Quote There's a current law suit in the works by a Minnesota man named Henry Harleny. Mr. Harleny is suing a famous drill company for physical damages caused to him by their tools. Mr. Harleny claims that he wanted to eliminate an itch in his nose, so he placed a power drill up his nose and turned the drill on with the drill bit still attached. He successfully got rid of the "itch", but in the process he "drilled" off his nose. Here is a statement by Mr. Harleny: "No where on the package, or the actual tool was there a warning that specifically tells the consumer not to place the drill up their nose, or any orifice for that matter. These companies need to take responsibility for their products". Mr. Harleny is suing for $25 million. Here's a picture of Mr. Harleny taken at the hospital: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you think my attitude stinks you should smell my fingers Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mccordia 74 #11 February 7, 2003 I would like to nominate this crab for a darwin award (download the mpeg file) http://www.dur.ac.uk/paul.clark/crabvspipe.htmlJC FlyLikeBrick I'm an Athlete? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
a97virago 0 #12 February 7, 2003 QuoteThis guy didn't make it onto the awards this year but it was a good effort. Maybe next year he can try something else. QuoteThere's a current law suit in the works by a Minnesota man named Henry Harleny. Mr. Harleny is suing a famous drill company for physical damages caused to him by their tools. Mr. Harleny claims that he wanted to eliminate an itch in his nose, so he placed a power drill up his nose and turned the drill on with the drill bit still attached. He successfully got rid of the "itch", but in the process he "drilled" off his nose. Here is a statement by Mr. Harleny: "No where on the package, or the actual tool was there a warning that specifically tells the consumer not to place the drill up their nose, or any orifice for that matter. These companies need to take responsibility for their products". Mr. Harleny is suing for $25 million. Here's a picture of Mr. Harleny taken at the hospital: Should that be said with a little more nasal sound to the voice? Larry A-43434 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
