Wednesday funnies

[happythoughts 0]

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball. Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women.

He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband either," she says.

He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her. "Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."

[Rebecca 0]

Several women I know have asked for me an explanation of Marketing.
Perhaps the following analogies will help clear it up:

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy.
One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed."

-- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number.
The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up to straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

-- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
He walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed."

-- That's Brand Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy.
You talk him into going home with your friend.

-- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.

-- That's Tech Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"

-- That's Spam.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?