Vallerina 2 #1 February 19, 2003 My roommate is one of those stupid people. Okay, she may not be stupid for getting married, she's being stupid about some of her wedding plans (picking out an ugly dress, wanting us to all get our hair done in one of those updos that require a can of Aqua Net, having to have her bachellorette party in Chicago and making me pay for it, having her wedding on a Saturday in the spring...this list is endless.) She's also being dumb in that she wants me to give a speech/toast/etc. The problem with this is that I can't think of a good and funny one. Some of the stories I could share that are funny aren't family appropriate. Anyone have a good speech for a wedding that I could use?There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #2 February 19, 2003 one kind of humorous thing i've seen done is wher eyou give a bunch of guys at the reception keys and have them all return their keys to the bride's old apartment to her. it's done a lot though. emabarrassing photo slide shows are great too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #3 February 19, 2003 Quoteemabarrassing photo slide shows are great too. That's actually not a bad idea! I do have a few funny ones of her that are family appropriate...unfortunately, the really funny ones of her are not!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AirMail 0 #4 February 19, 2003 Give the toast that was given at my wedding. "Here's to it and to it again, If you ever get to it and you don't do it, Here's hoping you never get to it to do it again." Patrick-- It's never too late to have a happy childhood. Postal Rodriguez, Muff 3342 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #5 February 19, 2003 Hi Vallerina, Are you SURE that you want us lot to give you suggestions for a speech you'll deliver at a wedding? That said, I guess that Rowan Atkinson's "Father of the Bride" speech didn't make it across the pond... It's been a while since I last heard it, but... "There comes a time in every wedding when a few words are said by the poor bastard who's paid for it. So... Pissed as I am, I'd like to say a few words. My daughter could not have chosen a better, kinder, more sociable, sensitive, caring, intelligent, rich - let's not deny it - and suitable husband... Than Richard. Which begs the question... Why the hell is she marrying John!? Because if John's family were to be likened to a dungheap - which happens all too frequently - then John would be the weed growing out of the top of it!..." And so it goes on for about 10 minutes. Seriously, PM me if you want with names, personalities etc... & I'll try & gin something (not TOO insulting) up. Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #6 February 19, 2003 Unfortunately, I don't think everyone would find humor in that! Quote Seriously, PM me if you want with names, personalities etc... & I'll try & gin something (not TOO insulting) up. This is my problem...I really like my roommate...we're really close and all, but I can't think of any "family friendly" personality quirks. Like, do they really need to hear about how her first kiss was at some Halloween party to some nasty guy? But it's okay, because she kissed 3 decent guys that same night! They also don't need to hear about frat guys writing all over her stomach in highlighter. Ugh...I really just don't have any funny stories about her There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #7 February 19, 2003 I don't see the groom or his family getting a kick outta that! but we sure did >>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #8 February 19, 2003 Quote I don't see the groom or his family getting a kick outta that! but we sure did Yes, I know many other stories that the groom and his family would not get a kick out of, but I sure did! Seriously, does ANYONE have a good speech that they've used before...heard before...any you've read online? I'm desperate here!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #9 February 19, 2003 "Here's to wars and restitution Here's to whores and prostitution Here's to the bee that got the bull a 'buck'n Here's to Adam who stuck it to Eve and got the whole world a fuck'n Here's to you and here's to me The best of friends that'll ever be And if we should ever disagree Well fuck you and here's to me!"--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #10 February 19, 2003 to the bride and groom... screw you for finding the right person, so you all can have a great wedding,honeymoon...have a bunch of kids, good jobs...end up getting divorced and in a huge custody battle over the kids, not caring about what your doing to the kids in the process...all because she slept with his brother...and he just came out of the closet and started his own gay off broadway show in the middle of the bible belt...kids are all hooked on heroin and in prison...she's living in a run down trailer....... something like that. make sure you have a drink in your hand, so you can blame it on the alcohal the next day! >>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lewmonst 0 #11 February 19, 2003 Ha ha ah, that's funny... whuffo weddings always get in the way of skydiving and are filled with frivilous fluff. my sister in law made me cut my hair and get an "up-do" and get shoes and dye them to match the dress... yuck. i never go to those hair places... and i had to spend 2 hours there and $90!!! That was the only wedding gift i could afford... :)http://www.exitshot.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #12 February 19, 2003 Quote...Well fuck you and here's to me!" coming from a guy just sitting at the DZ!!! <<<>>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #13 February 19, 2003 It is a great toast, though... --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #14 February 19, 2003 Val, there are lots of ways to approach the speech. Humor, poignancy, friendship...many different ways. And a good speech involves the audience, and has part of all of those elements and more. If you'd like me to help you, I'd be happy to. Think of some great moments she, she and he, and she and you and he had. Well, that came out wrong, but you know what I'm saying. Write them down, and pm them to me, and I'll try to work something up for you. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #15 February 20, 2003 Quote And a good speech involves the audience, That's the most difficult part...how do I keep old people and young crazy partiers entertained all at the same time? Quote Think of some great moments she, she and he, and she and you and he had. I'm gonna try to do that actually. I may try to go through old pictures...scrapbook stuff, etc tomorrow to see what I can dig up. I'm sure I can throw her weird obsession over Diet Dr. Pepper with more Dr. Pepper taste in there somewhere. And I really don't know of any special he and she moments. He's not all that special Thanks for your help! I've never done this before (no, not a beerable offense) so I have no idea of what to do/say. And, Lew...I hear ya!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kmcguffee 0 #16 February 20, 2003 Quote I do have a few funny ones of her that are family appropriate Who says they need to be true. I'm sure some photoshop wiz [cough] aggiedave [/cough] could fix some up for ya. "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do." Ben Franklin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #17 February 20, 2003 QuoteThanks for your help! Not at all, Val. I'll be around tomorrow night (I have that seminar thing tomorrow and friday)... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SteveM 0 #18 February 20, 2003 I can't offer you any funny stories, but I can offer you a toast that I made up myself out of three other toasts. .......... "May your troubles be small, your nights long, and your family large. But most important of all, May you be lovers for life, and grow old together -- sharing the same pillow............... >^..^< Steve M >^..^< for me -- SkyDiving is a life sentence -- for it has saved my life. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slim 0 #19 February 20, 2003 awwwwwwww <<<>>> A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 20 #20 February 20, 2003 Val.. at leastyour not the type of person that would insist on dragging your boy toy along with you to one of those events when he could be out getting Wingsuit coaching right?Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #21 February 20, 2003 Quote Val.. at leastyour not the type of person that would insist on dragging your boy toy along with you to one of those events when he could be out getting Wingsuit coaching right? It's not my fault he follows me wherever I go Okay...so, to anyone that wouldn't mind actually helping me out with this...a few Betsy things: She used to really like riding the ponies outside of Wal-mart (the merry go round type) She used to eat Crisco as a kid I got her hooked on One Life to Live She likes plants, cussing and television She is the best eavesdropper in the world She is obsessed with Diet Dr. Pepper She really liked the Douglas Fir talking Christmas tree She got me in trouble 3 times freshman year of college...all in the same weekend She walked around the dorms once in a leaf bag That's all I've got for now.There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildblue 7 #22 February 20, 2003 I'm sure you could work something in there like "Here's to smearing your new hubby with Crisco, and riding him like the penny pony outside Wal-Mart. You've only got one life to live, so drink all the Diet Dr Pepper you can, talk to all the Christmas trees you want, and never let anyone see those pictures of you in a leaf bag at college."it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #23 February 20, 2003 Point and Fact: If a person was NEVER told "hey THAT hairdo looks great on you!" then, why in God's name would someone ever want to chance it on their wedding day. My girlfriend in COllege did that and she and her friend looked like KLINGONS! (of course I got in trouble with "WHat do you think?) Unless you plan to marry a Hummingbird, the "Updo" sucks._______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #24 February 20, 2003 Sing to the tune of "My Bonnie Lies over the ocean" My Betsy rides ponies at Wal-Mart My Betsy ate Crisco with glee My Betsy can swear like a sailor Oh bring back my leaf bag to meeee. She drinks Dr. Pepper in barrels She drinks when she watches tv In college, we got into trouble Oh bring back my leaf bag to meee... (Then let her spend the next 2 hours explaining the leaf bag reference) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #25 February 20, 2003 Oh my gosh! I love that! I will probably actually use that! Thanks for your help, Bill! That's awesome!There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
