airann 1 #1 February 20, 2003 Lately, I have been looking at a whole lot of rescue Danes and the breed is so awesome. Yet they too are affected by abuse. Chained in yards and even worse. But anyway, I came across a list that I have seen many times and its so true and funny... I thought I would post it. The ceiling fan one is especially true. Skeet is very serious about ceiling fan safety. He goes insane if you go near it, stand and scratch your head or anything. He tries to kill it. He can reach it, but we have to pull him away. You know you are a Great Dane owner if......... the sound of running water makes you jump up and yell, "OUTSIDE!" you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair it takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets you walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are you can carry on a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch you own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!" you carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle after banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake you are hiking with a friend who later suggests that you ought to have an environmental impact statement done on your dog visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively (True, for nose and tail) you toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on the top of the doorway you take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make random right turns you have given up on water dishes and you just use the bathtub your two dogs decide to play in the house, and they end up pulling the ceiling fan down -- for the second time you have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink you show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog while stopped at a stop light, everyone stares as your car rocks back and forth because the dog is panting out the window (Skeet and I have already caused one small wreck, the guy was stareing at us) you go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up there on the ceiling you avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup you've learned to force a smile when asked "do you have a saddle for that thing?" the monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment your veterinarian has been able to put in a swimming pool, build a large home, buy jet skis and a personal plane you have had to train your dog not to lick dishes, and the dishes are in the sink (or eat an entire brisket left on the back of the counter) the donuts you put on top of the refrigerator are gone when you get home and your dog has powdered sugar on his nose your dog can see what you're cooking, and he tries to assist you in the preparation you're holding him straddled between your legs when the doorbell rings, you take a short (but fast!) ride straight to the door the pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk (and mailmen) your dog stands in your lap and reaches over you to stick his head in the drive-through window at MacDonald's and nearly gives the cashier a heart attack when she turns around to give you your change (or she goes and gets somebody else) you purchase a large screen TV and you still can't see the program when he stands in front of the television ~AirAnn~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blewaway5 0 #2 February 20, 2003 I want a Great Dane!! I've got to ask, about how much does it cost to own one? Truman Sparks for President Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viking 0 #3 February 20, 2003 "your dog can hide an entire tennis ball (among other things) fully inside his lips and give you that innocent look that says, "What? I'm not eating anything!" that one had me rolling on the floor! Emily my black lab tried to sneak her tennis ball in the house that way I swear you must have footprints on the back of your helmet - chicagoskydiver My God has a bigger dick than your god -George Carlin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #4 February 20, 2003 I love it.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nacmacfeegle 0 #5 February 20, 2003 So, when we are talking about Great Danes, we ain't talking about Madds Larsen and Nils Brusgard then? -------------------- He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #6 February 20, 2003 Oh my gawd that was so funny Anne!! And so true! We're lucky as far as the ceiling fans because we have vaulted ceilings Quote you tell your dog to sit, and he backs up until he finds a chair I never knew Danes did this until we got Judge...it SO confirmed that he definately is half-Dane when we found out that this is common for them!! He'll sit right on ya if you don't get outta the way. It's funny, we come home and the mattress on our bed is scooted almost completely off the bed and the comforter and sheets are torn all to hell because he's been running through the house playing with the other two, REBOUNDING off the bed to go back the other way! :) Thanks for the laugh! I love these...I'm printing it out to keep! Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #7 February 20, 2003 I have an enthusiastically happy Rottweiler as one of my dogs, and I can sure identify with the crotch ones. I have to close the door when I take a bath, because she'd just as soon share the bathtub with me. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #8 February 20, 2003 Me too. My Shepherd used to think that anyone bending over to pick something up was going to throw it for him. You got the immediate nose-crotch contact. I liked to take him out to an island and just let him sprint up and down the beach. Imagine the surprise on the face of a thong-clad miss when she picked up seashells. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #9 February 20, 2003 Great Danes rock!! My family has owned Great Danes my whole life. They are very loyal and very gental giants. The only down side is that they live shorter lives than other dogs because of their size. I really enjoyed the post. Beautiful animals...Skybytch ~ Do you remember meeting my father's Great Dane"Simba?"... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #10 February 20, 2003 MY friend has a Dane. It's nice to see the dog WIthOUT the Tampons in his ears (Cropped)I used to have an Irish Wolfhound with a 7 1/2 ft. reach at the door ways(new claw marks all the time). It was Shamus' way of getting your attention. He would have loved the 28" snow we have here. _______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sebazz1 2 #11 February 20, 2003 A picture of my stepfather, mother and new baby dane. Her name is "Diva". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zennie 0 #12 February 20, 2003 The words "total chaos" were redefined for me when I visited Ann's and someone turned on the ceiling fan. A Great Dane having a psychotic break is not something you want to be within 10 feet of. - Z "Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airann 1 #13 February 20, 2003 LOL, boy do I have stories about Skeet and I. Lots of people know him as he was raised in the propblast at the DZ. Once, I forgot for a minute about him and I looked over and there were 3 children clinging to him. One had his ear, one was tring to ride him and the other in diapers had grabed his tail as she was falling down. Skeet had never seen children before. I quickly started that way and Skeet was a statue. His eyes were forward and legs braced and he never even blinked. Somebody told me they had been playing with him for some time. He was about 7 months old. He smelled the one in diapers, but that was about it. Another time he ripped up two posts in cement because he hit the rope between them marking the beer line with his chest, Oops. He was still a puppy. Great Danes are incredible. We have secret signals for when I need him to bark his head off. One is "Who is It?" He isnt mean he just has a tremendous bark. Bobsled- an Irish Wolfhound is a great dog. I have always wanted to have one of those. LOL, tampon ears!!! Yeah, I remember those and Skeets Rack. Man, he was such a giant puppy. He tripped and his ear rack jammed into the grass. -Do dee doh!- I had to pull him loose as he got stuck. Somebody asked about cost. I bought him from a lady for $300 because at the time his color wasnt a recognised color for dog shows. However, the AKC has drafted an adendum for the color 'Boston'. 4 white feet, chest, blaze and tip of tail. A boston comes about when somebody is trying to obtain a litter of Harliquins. They look like giant Dalmations. (Scooby Doo is a Fawn.) One word about Dane colors, if you get a litter with a white one. Some breeders will put that one down. They are deaf and mostly always blind. There is one for adoption that I am looking at named Powder. He can see a little but sometimes runs into stuff. He is totally deaf. He is learning sign. But he will always be a special needs little guy. The cost of Skeets ears were $250-275. And there is great controversy about ear cropping. After much thought I went with it because I felt like he looked like a lab on steroids otherwise. His Doctor is a Great Dane specialist so, we talked at length about everything envolved with Extra-Large dogs and a ordinary sized girl owner. He continues to grow at 3 yrs. (Valentines Day was his Birthday) Now the doctor regrets neutering him as he is such a beautiful dog. Neutering a dane was a couple of hundred I cant remember, but I do remember that Danes under anestesia is worrisome. Sometimes they dont come out. He eats quite a bit and his dog food bowl has to be 22 inches above the ground. So his food container and bowl combo sits on top of a cement block. He averages 2 40 lb bags a month or a bag every other week at about $23-$25. Large Breed dog food with special extra vitiamins and stuff. You have to keep a Dane in perfect shape physically and mentally. Their lifespan is about 7 years but I have heard of 9 or 10, I am trying to beat that. A huge yard is almost a must with a tall fence. He can look over my fence into the neighbors yard to see whats up. Then you have to give them heart worm meds once a month so it adds up. (It is always good to know a Vet skydiver on the side.) It is said that a Dane left out in a yard chained or in a pen will die. They are serious people persons and considered a house dog. They must have a considerable amout of constant attention and love. They are huge babies. The only other thing I can think of when considering a Great Dane is training. It was nothing to train him to go Outside to do his business. But as a puppy he would chew on my arms as we played. Eventually, my vet set me up with a Personal Trainer that came to the house. ($75 an hour) She was great and Skeet was totally leash trained and quit biting me in 3 lessons. He can sit, lay down, play Dead Dog, and lots more. But sitting for long periods isnt easy for a Dane. Their bones are so heavy that it is uncomfortable. Even the extra large dog beds wont work. Two of them together is ok. Skeet has a lazy boy chair he likes by the window or the majority of the couch. I never let him lay on hard surfaces even if he wanted to because it can make his elbows ugly. Most Dane people just have a twin bed mattress. In conclusion, it takes 3 BIG people to cut his nails. ~AirAnn~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
78RATS 0 #14 February 20, 2003 Forget about the back yard. If you step in it you just have to buy new shoes. Rat for Life - Fly till I die When them stupid ass bitches ask why Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phatcat 0 #15 February 21, 2003 A coworker (well ex-coworker - I'm jobless now) brought in his Great Dane once. One cool-ass dog. I want one too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkF 0 #16 February 21, 2003 Quote I have an enthusiastically happy Rottweiler as one of my dogs, .... Rotties are GREAT...As for stealing food... A missing salami, a dog with the "you must be losing your mind - there was NEVER any salami here" look and the tell-tale sign of a piee of string hanging out of Maxwells mouth..... Ooroo Mark F... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #17 February 21, 2003 I love Rotties. My parents have six and they breed them as well. Nothing cuter than a puppy Rottie. Attached are some from a litter a few years ago. How cute. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phatcat 0 #18 February 21, 2003 Rotties are my FAVORITE breed! My parents have a Rott, Collie, sharpei (sp?) mix. He's kind of retarded, but they (and I) love him just the same Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jonno5 0 #19 February 21, 2003 We have two Rhodesian ridgebacks and they are great dogs,good guard dogs too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bobsled92 0 #20 February 21, 2003 The worst we had was a: "Where's the dog? Holy Crap! where's the deck post!? We had to send him to the Horse farm (I was raised in an Equine life) after he took a kid down the street by his scarf (which I thought was awesome). It was Winter and Shamus came to me at my bus stop. Dino (the brat from Cypress) was giving me crap and wearing a red & white Long scarf. He looked like one of those bare foot trick skiers.(Shamus could hit 40mph on dry ground) _______________________________ If I could be a Super Hero, I chose to be: "GRANT-A-CLAUS". and work 365 days a Year. http://www.hangout.no/speednews/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
