Ruminations -3... the Eleventh Prequel

[FallingMarc 0]

How long has it been since I have publicly excreted my semi-conscious random thoughts while working the most ridiculously boring midnight shift in the universe? I don't know! But here I go again!

Warning: I was thwarted in my attempt to sleep before this work shift by people knocking on the door and wrong numbers calling my phone. I didn't get much more than 4 hours of actual sleep for the past few nights. There is absolutely NOTHING going on around me and I have no mental stimulation whatsoever. As a highly qualified undergraduate psychology student, I would certify myself at this point as "insane with insane tendencies, showing possible signs of growing insanity."

Guess what happened last Friday. It was valentine's day. I don't capitalize it. I thought that day could not get worse. I was wrong. Just after midnight(VD got off to an early start on me this year) everything started to collapse. Just after freaking midnight. It did indeed start with a bang. Or, more accurately, a sandwich. After spending a few hours lying down dealing with some sort of mild food poisoning, I remembered my laundry was downstairs in the dryer. In my weakened state, I carried all my everything up to my room, put most of my clothes on hangers, emailed my professors that I felt like throwing up, and slept through all my classes. I got up around 1 PM and found that my computer would not turn on at all. Hooray! After a few hours of feeling generally shitty and not being able to eat anything solid, I went to work at the front desk here in my building, and spent the evening from 4:30 till midnight watching all the public displays of affection in the lobby. I thereby concluded that God has it out for me, and went to call my girlfriend. Wait, I don't have a girlfriend. Shit. I hate valentine's day.

But that's over now. Ah, I feel better getting all the whining out. You guys make excellent listeners.

I've got a friend who wants to change his last name to a type of fuel, so he can be a badass like Vin Diesel and Jim Propane.

Maybe he should try to help the environment at the same time. Jerad Hydrogen. That's a badass name.

I'm all about finding environmentally-friendly fuel, as long as I can still drive a 350 TPI Camaro. Of course, once we find some dilithium crystals, we can make some REALLY fast cars that run on hydrogen, and antimatter. "Hey, I got a new car. It's the Enterprise." "Awesome! Can I have a ride?" "Make it so."

I watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure the other day, and I hadn't seen it in years. I never realized how brilliant that movie really is. It's cool that Morpheus is in it too. Granted, he's played by George Carlin, and they call him Rufus, but you know it's the same guy. Hey, Neo is in there too. Cool....

As far as I could tell, today was Campus THO Day. It was suddenly warm enough to go outside without a coat, but not quite enough to be totally comfortable. But that didn't stop most of the women from walking around in tight shirts outside, poking everybody's eyes out wherever they went. I like my eyes and all, but it was worth it.

"Doobage," you might say
I've also heard "Mountain Spew"
Whatever. It's Dew.

Yes, that's a haiku
But words cannot do justice
Beautiful caffiene

Caffiene, carry me
Keep me conscious at my job
I need jump money

Good Lord, I need to skydive! I'm about to lose currency! It's been almost three months! Grraahh! This is my list of things that piss me off: 1. not having any money; 2. weather that sucks; 3. having other obligations on the days the weather doesn't suck too much and I can spare 20 bucks. Makes me want to toss myself out of an airplane at 14,000' with all my friends that I really freaking miss. Dammit.

5:35 AM. Posting now. Will update as the fancy strikes me.

Sounds kinda like a FOX special... "When Fancy Strikes!"

When fancy. Whenfancy. Whenfancy? INfancy. Oh. Never mind. Right, right, left, duck, duck, goose, post.

M

[FallingMarc 0]

The sun peeks over the horizon in preparation of its long daily journey across the Champaign sky. My guitar sits alone in its case, for I am much too tired and caffienated to play with any competency. The homework I brought down with me is still in the bag I have yet to open. People are beginning to trickle downstairs for an early breakfast, or a very late snack.

My head itches.

A Police Training Institute student drops his bookbag. "Oh," he says. Oh, indeed.

One song has been running through my head for approximately four and a half hours. It's my new favorite song. "Paris in Flames" by Thursday. You should all check it out. Despite the title, it doesn't have much to do with the French.

People walk funny. Well, some of them do. The ones that walk funny, anyway. I guess the ones that walk normally aren't very funny at all.

Bastards, I'll show them.


It would suck a lot if you died, and it turned out that the ancient Greeks had it right all along, and you had to give Charon those two coins to get across the Styx to the afterlife, but since nobody believes that anymore, we don't bury people with coins on their eyes, so you wouldn't have anything to give him, and you'd be stuck wherever you were, and maybe you could see, like, a party going on, on the other side of the river or something, and you kept asking Charon to let you across, but he's all like, "no way, dude, you didn't pay me," and you'd be all like, "whatever."

What if there was a Pokemon that was named "Haiku," and always tried to speak in haiku, but he could still only say his name? He'd be stuck saying things like--
Haiku haiku ku
Hai, haiku hai hai haiku
Haiku, hai haiku

After reading that, I don't know what I was thinking, but I think I'll have whatever I'm having. Thank you.

Doobee doobee doo. I can type to you. This I know is true. Behind me is the loo. I don't have a clue. Then the cow said "moo." The sign up there is blue. I'm almost done--that's coo. Mr. T pity da foo. Sonic Youth album: "Goo." I said Sonic Youth, that's who. Adam Sandler, famous Jew. I am tired, what's new? Least I don't have to poo. Lawyers like to sue. Zero, one, then two. Strip club called Deja Vu. St. Louis has a zoo. WOOO... hoo!

There used to be a hole in the ceiling right above the desk here that you could shoot rubber bands into. They covered it up.

Bastards, I'll show them.

BOLD UNDERLINED AND ITALICIZED!

Zoning out staring at the keyboard for not-sure-how-long: bad thing
Zoning out staring at window for probably longer than that: good thing!
I would have stubbed my toe if I was not wearing boots. I love my boots. I want to meet the guy that invented boots and shake his hand. And stomp on his foot to see how well his boots stand up to mine. Hahaha! Take that, Mr. Boot-Inventor! Trogdor the boot inventor... roarrr

Ok, now my hand is actually shaking. Physically vibrating of its own accord. Caffiene is the coolest thing EVER.

Is it rude to stare directly at a woman's breasts as she walks by? What if you stop her and say, "Dude, your chest is rad!" If I was a chick, I'd take that as a compliment. Frankly, I'd think it was cool if a chick came up to me and said, "Dude, your crotch is rad!" Why thank you, I think so too.

I think I might need to stop. This is starting to get a little crazy.

Shift's end approaches
Sigh of relief from forum
The closing haiku

M

[sunshine 2]

Yay, ruminations are back. Thanks so much Marc!! You've made Mrs. Robinson very happy.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Jessica 0]

You are a young Henry Rollins. Except less intense and scary.

This is my favorite part:

Quote

It would suck a lot if you died, and it turned out that the ancient Greeks had it right all along, and you had to give Charon those two coins to get across the Styx to the afterlife, but since nobody believes that anymore, we don't bury people with coins on their eyes, so you wouldn't have anything to give him, and you'd be stuck wherever you were, and maybe you could see, like, a party going on, on the other side of the river or something, and you kept asking Charon to let you across, but he's all like, "no way, dude, you didn't pay me," and you'd be all like, "whatever."

That's really something to chew on!

Skydiving is for cool people only

[wildblue 7]

speaking of coolest things ever (besides caffeine) I think the 'on-the-fly' spell checking that Word does now is pretty damn cool. All you have to do is at least get close, and it just changes your fuck ups. On the downside, I'll never actually learn how to spell anything.
The way Excel tries to guess what you're doing annoys the crap out of me though, it keeps changing my format. I know it thinks I'm trying to put in a date, and it's trying to be helpful, but I'm not and it's not.

it's like incest - you're substituting convenience for quality

[kingbunky 3]

very surreal... almost but not quite entirely unlike reading douglas adams. keep it up! (use viagra if required).

"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart."
MB4252 TDS699
killing threads since 2001

[dterrick 0]

...and on a semi-related note of silly humour...

"None shall pass this brige but me except those who answer questions three..."

Whhhaaat is your name? (dterrick, King of the Canadians)

Whhaaaat is your favourite colour? (faded watermellon)

Whhhaaat is the average airspeed of an unlaiden skydiver? (Canadian or American?)

Uh, I dont know ...wwwuuaggghhhhhhhhh!

NEEH!!

Dave

Life is very short and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend (Lennon/McCartney)

[jceman 1]

Quote

Yay, ruminations are back. Thanks so much Marc!!

I would like to second Mrs. Robinson's motion.

[Groucho Voice] If I had a motion like that...[/Groucho Voice]

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money.

Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them?

[FallingILweenie 0]

hahahahaa. very good.

damn it's very skydive-y out.

[FallingMarc 0]

I tried to take a nap before class at 11, and accidentally kinda slept till 4. Oops. Oh well.

Trogdor the boot-inventor? What the hell...?

M