Thursday funnies

[happythoughts 0]

There was an artist who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months.

As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed.

The model said "Oh, please, let me fix it for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to fix herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God!" he barked, "It's my wife. Quick, take all your clothes off!"

[slim 0]

> The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy
> leaning heavily against a wall.
>
> The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over
> there by the wall?" and the clerk says, "Well, he came
> in here this morning to get something for his cough.
> I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire
> bottle of laxative."
>
> The owner goes, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough
> with a bottle of laxatives!"
>
> The clerk says, "Of course you can!
> Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

>>>
A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!'

[Rebecca 0]

Here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the
truth after all those conflicting medical studies.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
Americans.

3. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer
heart attacks than the Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than the Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you.

you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?

[Slowfaller 0]

Q: How do you fit an extremely fat person in a pair of pants made for a skinny person?

A: Take the "F" out of fat and the "F" out of weigh


Chris

--"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM

[JeffGordon 0]

I don't get it

[PhillyKev 0]

me either

[Slowfaller 0]

Well you probably said to yourself, "Self, there is no "F" in weigh?!"

Right, there is NO F'N WAY! AHHhhhhhh hahahahahaha

Chris

--"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM

[PhillyKev 0]

Self, weigh doesn't have an F. Hmmm, that's why I didn't get it.

[Slowfaller 0]

it's a better joke to say then read but hey, it's funny if you say it about someone you dont like.

Ex: Hey, how do you fit Bob's girlfriend in a pair of tight shorts?

I dunno

take the f out of fat and the f out of weigh

there is no f in way

you damn right!!

Chris

--"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM

[BoobieCootie 0]

Don't quit your day job

[Slowfaller 0]

I already did

--"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM

[BoobieCootie 0]

Hey! Maybe the 2 of us could do sitcoms and have our own show. Yeah! Then we'd be real hip and get chicks and they'd let us in to those high class clubs and stuff.

How's that for a Thursday funny?

[Slowfaller 0]

about one guy that changed his screen name after doing a child themed name changing game and another guy that tells stupid jokes? Sounds like a hit!

--"Someday you will die and somehow somethings going to steal your carbon" -MM

[Sebazz1 2]

What did the bra say to the hat?

[BoobieCootie 0]

Yeah! And sort of like Dumb and Dumber, we'll call ourselves Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb

[Sebazz1 2]

Quote

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead I'll give these two a lift...

[slim 0]

some funnies

(edited for bad stuff)(sorry)

>>>
A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!'

[BoobieCootie 0]

We have a winner!!!!

And how much is the Hillary special?

[slim 0]

cheap, prolly a few votes

<<<>>>
A good friend will bail you outta jail... A true friend will be sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!!!'

[BoobieCootie 0]

Sadly just enough to get her a seat in the Senate

[Muenkel 0]

Hey Slim,

2) No jokes or references to pedophilia. None.


You may want to get rid of your 4th pic.

Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[SteveM 0]

ROFLMAO ! ! ! ! ! !

Steve M
>^..^<
for me -- SkyDiving is a life sentence -- for it has saved my life.