lawrocket 3 #1 March 8, 2003 Given a couple of recent revelations by my ex-girlfriend, it heartened me to receive this by e-mail... Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises... He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question? Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life. Awww... So what is the moral of this story? IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR WOMAN IS PRETTY OR UGLY, UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE'S STILL A WITCH I didn't write it... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #2 March 8, 2003 This is actually really close to the real Arthurian legend, at least from what I remember reading. It differs in one area: The version above is a little too obvious, because the answer she gives is "women want to be able to be in charge of their own lives" because it ties in so nice & neatly with the end of the story. But in the version I remember, the answer to "What do women want?" is "Power over men." Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #3 March 8, 2003 I think the story was a bit more different but the jist was the same. The movie made about it had the green knight(played by Sean Connory) in it and yada yada yada"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #4 March 8, 2003 Yep... What can I say? I'm still waiting for this to happen to me too. Great-great-great-great-great-great-Grandpa better not have pissed off everyone! So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #5 March 8, 2003 what movie was that? I only read the King ARthur stories, but it was a long timeago so I may not remember them accurately. I do remember a green Knight story from the King Arthur stories, but it was totally separate from this one. Oh & now i remember something else from the story about the hag: 1) It wasn't King Arthur that was imprisoned, but some other knight, maybe Galahad. and 2) The knight that rescued him had to marry the old hag, but at first she was a hag all the time. So after they get married, he won't do her, and she asks him why, and he says that he will carry out his duties as a husband as he vowed but, he finally admits he is disturbed by her looks. So she rewards him both for his valor AND his honesty by becoming beautiful for either the day or the night. Then the rest of it is the same. One common theme of the Arthurian legends is being true to your word and to honor. What bothers me is that the Arthurian legends were EXTREMELY lively & entertaining reading, but modern day TV & movies has so much crap in it featuring the glorification of meaningless violence & general sleaze (see Jerry Springer). But these people say that sleaze sells, and that stories about people who value honor & self-sacrifice, etc. are boring. But then how do you explain the entertainment value of the Arthurian legends?? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LouDiamond 1 #6 March 8, 2003 For the life of me I cannot rememebrt he name of the film. Quick synopsis of the story....green knight rides into the hall and issues a challenge to anyone willing to chop his head off if he can in turn chop their head off afterwards. Young man steps up and whacks the green knights head off with a big axe, head rolls onto the floor and the body goes and picks it up and places it back on the neck. Everyone is amazed, now it's young guys turn to get his head whacked and he flinches. In order to save his life he has the passing of the seasons to answer the green knights riddle. If he cannot answer the riddle at that time he gets whacked. Young dude goes off and has many adventures..yada yada yada. Anyone remember this one?"It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required" Some people dream about flying, I live my dream SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #7 March 8, 2003 YEAH, THAT was it!! But I never saw a movie about it. I did hear Joseph Campbell discuss it, though. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
