Muenkel 0 #1 March 12, 2003 Well-known personalities were asked, "Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?" Their answers will help us all see each other's point of view on many things political. GEORGE W. BUSH >We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here. AL GORE >I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people. RALPH NADER >The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV. PAT BUCHANAN >To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. RUSH LIMBAUGH >I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross. MARTHA STEWART >No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. JERRY FALWELL >Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of our face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." DR. SEUSS >Did the chicken cross the road? >Did he cross it with a toad? >Yes, The chicken crossed the road, >but why it crossed, I've not been told! ERNEST HEMINGWAY >To die. In the rain. Alone. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. >I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. GRANDPA >In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. BARBARA WALTERS >Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how I experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON >Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace. ARISTOTLE >It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. KARL MARX >It was a historical inevitability. SADDAM HUSSEIN >This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. VOLTAIRE >I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it. RONALD REAGAN >What chicken? CAPTAIN KIRK >To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. FOX MULDER >You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it? SIGMUND FREUD >The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. BILL GATES >I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken. ALBERT EINSTEIN >Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON >I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please? COLONEL SANDERS >I missed one? Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest #2 March 12, 2003 ...to prove to the possum that it could be done.""The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KawiZX900 0 #3 March 12, 2003 was this cool or was this stupid,, or waz it stupid cool? i can't tell, i am sitting at the monitor in a total daze , and am mostly unaware of what I just read. Karl Marx's quote and Einstiens stuck out in my dome piece, the rest is a total blur. Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyKev 0 #4 March 12, 2003 Seen this before (a few hundred times). Still funny though. My favorite is Hemmingway. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
