tosca 0 #1 March 18, 2003 ..yesterday by committing suicide (non-skydiving related). He was our neighbor as well.. When we were younger, like 6-12, we were best friends and spent every day together.I have shared some of my best memories with her and her family. Then we moved away from each other and did only talked a couple of times/ year. We never had a fight or anything, we just didn´t keep the relationship so close anymore. Have anyone had this experience? Should I contact her even though we haven´t had close contact with each othter the last years? Or is it not my business, maybe she get angry? Or should I wait to talk to her? What do you tell someone who lost her father far too early and in such an awful way? Any good advise is welcome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,589 #2 March 18, 2003 I'm so sorry for your friend. That's got to be awful. I don't know about suicide in particular, but I have lost people suddenly. Absolutely contact her. If she lives too far to go to the funeral, send her a note; make it a personal note, sharing something you remember of him and your friend. Make sure there's a return address on it, and maybe even in it. The chances of her being mad at you are almost nil. Then write her again a few weeks later. The first couple of weeks, everyone pays attention. Then their lives all go back to normal. If you have any pictures that she might not have, offer to send them (or just send copies with your note). Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
f1freak 0 #3 March 18, 2003 Wow, what a bummer... i have been through a VERY similar experience, and it means a lot when people step up and let you know they care.... Contact her...HAVE FUN... ...JUST DONT DIE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #4 March 18, 2003 By all means contact her. She surely needs a lot of support. The families of people who commit suicide naturally tend to assume the blame for it. Support for them is most important.jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bmcd308 0 #5 March 18, 2003 Hate to do a me-too post, but when I was going through a tough time, it meant a lot to me that people from earlier stages in my life let me know that I was still socially "rooted" and that there were people who continued to care about me, even though we were not in regular contact. As said above, step up and contact her. If she pushes you away at first, don't take it too hard. It will be a good memory for her that you took the time to show you cared. Brent ---------------------------------- www.jumpelvis.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jessd 0 #6 March 18, 2003 I would contact her. Especially where you two grew up together and shared so many years and memories. I think that she would really appreciate. May even help her to remember some of the good times that she and her dad had shared since you were around for many of those years. "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #7 March 19, 2003 Tosca, reach out to her now. She needs to know that people love her, and care about her. If she does get angry, chances are she isn't angry with you, but simply angry at everyone right now. And like Wendy says, get in touch with her again in about a month. People will have stopped coming by and contacting her, stopped reassuring her she is not to blame, and she will need your support then, too. And don't forget to grieve for yourself, too...sometimes we get involved in supporting others that we forget to support ourselves. Hugs, Tosca. And remember that we are here should you need to talk. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bodypilot90 0 #8 March 19, 2003 do not wait to be contacted take the 1st step Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MuffDiver 0 #9 March 19, 2003 I've been through a similar experience. I would definately get in touch with her. It always makes you feel good to hear from old friends, and that could be just what she needs at a time like this. __________________________________________________ Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out alive. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
racer42 0 #10 March 19, 2003 I've been there. It only takes a little bit. Just let them know you are there and ready to help.L.A.S.T. #24 Co-Founder Biscuit Brothers Freefly Team Electric Toaster #3 Co-Founder Team Non Sequitor Co-Founder Team Happy Sock Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #11 March 19, 2003 Ditto what everyone else just said. Contact her. You don't need to bring up the details, just acknowledge what she is going through, offer your sympathies and let her know you are there for her. Families of the deceased DO remember who reached out and are deeply comforted by it. Best of luck, Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
