pop 0 #1 March 21, 2003 Chicken Farmer A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, and then asks, "What is your occupation?" The woman replies, "I'm a whore." The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that." The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute." "No, that is still too crude. Try again." They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken farmer." The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?" "Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rgoper 0 #2 March 21, 2003 well, now that we've established what she is, we're just haggling over the price! --Richard-- "We Will Not Be Shaken By Thugs, And Terroist" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #3 March 21, 2003 here is another one: Short Essay Contest A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: - religion - royalty - sex - mystery The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bvsdjumper 0 #4 March 21, 2003 A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving." -- Art Sky-div'ing (ski'div'ing) n. A modern sport that involves parties, bragging, sexual excesses, the imbibing of large quantities of beer, and, on rare occasions, parachuting from aircraft. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Meathorse 0 #5 March 21, 2003 OK, we need to keep a funny thread on the first page dammit! This is the call, y'all! Everyone put something up here dammit! http://www.theonion.com/onion3618/kid_rock_starves.html (edited to add "dammit" just one more time) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
