Guest #1 April 1, 2003 CIA Releases Real "Shock and Awe" Plan Rip Rowan Tue 25 Mar 2003, 12:44 PM Speaking under conditions of anonymity, a confidante in the CIA has informed the Skeptician of the real "Shock and Awe" campaign to begin in the next 24 hours. "Operation Horny Camel" will involve the takeover of Iraqi state-run television, Al Jazeera, and six other Arab-run broadcasting facilities. The stations will immediately switch to commercial-free hardcore adult programming. "The average Arab man is so sexually repressed that he will be powerless against the onslaught of high-tech American porn," explained the CIA informant. "Once Operation Horny Camel begins, we think Iraqi soldiers will simply lay down their weapons and go home. It will redefine the concept of shock and awe." Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld could "neither confirm or deny" the report that the US military was prepared to use porno as an offensive military weapon. He did, however, offer some tantalizing clues. "In the first Gulf War, porno played virtually no role in the campaign," explained Rumsfeld. "However, recent major advances in American pornography have changed the battlefield forever. Where once our defenses depended on bullets and bombs, we think in the future our key weapons will be HDTV, the comfy chair, and K-Y." In preparation for the attack, coalition aircraft were dropping supplies including Vaseline and Baby Wipes, as well as leaflets describing the proper procedure to "surrender" to the attack. Key titles in the shock and awe campaign are reported to include such underground Arab favorites as "Spank Me, Shiite", "The Whore of Babylon", and "Bagh-Daddy"."The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #2 April 1, 2003 I know it's meant to be funny...and it is...but I would love to see the various psy-op type ideas that have been discussed...I'm sure something like this was on somebody's list at one time or another.... So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
