Buzzword bingo!!!

[PhreeZone 20]

This thing went around the office the other day and its kept me entertained on many conference calls since then.


AKA...

The Bullshit game

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long
and boring conference calls? Monotone voices burbling on and on like a creek
for hours on end, forcing you to look for the nearest sharp object or length
of wire to end it all. Here's a way to change all of that...

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call,
prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5"x5" is a good size.
Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you
25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:



synergy

strategic fit

core competencies

best practice

bottom line

revisit

take that off-line

24/7

out of the loop

benchmark

value-added

proactive

win-win

think outside the box

fast track

result-driven

empower

knowledge base

solution

touch base

mindset

client focus

paradigm

game plan

leverage


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand
up and shout "BULLSHIT!"



Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Jack W., Boston
"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David D., Florida
"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Bill R., New York City
"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for
the fifth box." - Ben G., Denver
"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third
time in two hours." - Kathleen L., Atlanta

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[peppermint 0]

I thought I was the only one who played this! I LOVE this game! When we have 'art' meetings, the companies we design for come in and throw out this bs, and one time I was so excited cause I won, i yelled out, "BINGO!!"

Fortunately, they just thought I liked their idea.

The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour.

[Zeemax 0]

you forgot 'go for the low hanging fruit'

Phoenix Fly - High performance wingsuits for skydiving and BASE
Performance Designs - Simply brilliant canopies

[kiltboy 0]

Can't take the credit for this one but it should bring a smile to those in the know.

David

I think we need to hit the ground running, keep our eye on the ball, and make sure that we are singing off the same song sheet. At the end of the day it is not a level playing field and the goal posts may move; if they do, someone else may have to pick it up and run with it. We therefore must have a golf bag of options hot-to-trot from the word 'go'. It is your train set but we cannot afford to leave it on the back burner; we've got a lot of irons in the fire, right now.

We will need to un-stick a few potential poo traps but it all depends on the flash-to-bang time and fudge factor allowed. Things may end up slipping to the left and, if they do, we will need to run a tight ship. I don't want to re-invent the wheel but we must get right into the weeds on this one. If push comes to shove, we may have to up stumps and then we'll be in a whole new ball game.

I suggest we test the water with a few warmers in the bank. If we can produce the goods then we are cooking with gas. If not, then we are in a world of hurt. I don't want to die in a ditch over it but we could easily end up in a flat spin if people start getting twitchy. To that end, I want to get round the bazaars and make sure the movers and the shakers are on-side from day one. If you can hit me with your shopping list I can take it to the head honchos and start the ball rolling.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and I think we have backed a winner here. If it gets blown out the water, however, I will be throwing a track. So get your feet into my in-tray and give me chapter and verse as to how you see things panning out. As long as our ducks are in a row I think the ball will stay in play and we can come up smelling of roses.

Before you bomb burst and throw smoke, it is imperative we nail our colours very firmly on the mast and look at the big picture. We've got to march to the beat of the drum. We are on a sticky wicket. we'll need to play with a straight bat and watch out for fast balls.

I've been on permanent send for long enough and I've had my ten pence worth. I don't want to rock the boat or teach anyone to suck eggs. We must keep this firmly in our sight picture or it will fall between the cracks. If the cap fits, wear it, but it may seem like pushing fog up a hill with a sharp stick.

[Muenkel 0]

Do you ever want to take out a baseball bat and just pound on the speaker phone when you hear these f@#$%^n words over and over and over again until you just want to puke!!!!! Then you always have some ass-kissing asshole who could probably use everyone of these f@#$$%^n phrases in one statement. Oh, I could just punch that prick in the face!

OK, I feel better now.

Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[Jib 0]

In school, we used to play asshole bingo which is similar. In every class there are a bunch of people who can't wait to be called on (e.g Marcia Brady, Frosty (bad hair coloring)). So, each was given a nickname. When you got bingo, you had anwer a question using the word of the day -- yielding beer as the prize. Try using orgasm or seduction in a sentence without the professor waking up!

--------------------------------------------------
the depth of his depravity sickens me.
-- Jerry Falwell, People v. Larry Flynt

[2fat2fly 0]

There is a buzzword bingo version for Palm Pilots. Not that I would have it-I'm really just taking very careful notes during these meetings

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[Michele 1]

Quote

Then you always have some ass-kissing asshole who could probably use everyone of these f@#$$%^n phrases in one statement

Oh, Chris....

It's simple, really. The synergy must be in place for all ideas to be a strategic fit. The core competencies of each person should be identified and put into best practice for the bottom line to be achieved. We do not, on the whole, want to revisit poor language habits...that will not serve us and the worker may have to take that offline. We here at Buzzword Psychobabble Promotions work extremely hard, 24/7, to bring those out of the loop back in, raising the bar, and set the benchmark on a continuing basis, designing a value-added service to those who are proactive and subscribe to our service.

Our goal at Buzzword Psychobabble Promotions is to create win-win circumstances for those who think outside the box, those who are on the fast track, and those who are result driven. We empower those folk who seek to increase their knowledge base and strive to create a solution for any challenges they may encounter. We endeavor to touch base with those who have the mindset and client focus that fits within our paradigm and works within our game plan.

Use of Buzzword Psychobabble Promotions will, without doubt, create outstanding leverage within the community...of this I have unshakeable confidence!

(there...did I get them all? Happy Friday - I'm going jumping!)

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[Muenkel 0]

I just spit Metamucil on my computer screen!

Have fun jumping.
Chris

_________________________________________
Chris

[wmw999 2,589]

Quote

I just spit Metamucil on my computer screen!

Not me, man -- now that I'm a manager, I'm taking notes!

Wendy

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[riggerrob 643]

When I was in the military, my favorite pass-time during boring briefings was to count the number of times they used the "f" word. The record was 342 by a PPCLI warrant officer.

[wmw999 2,589]

Quote

favorite pass-time during boring briefings was to count the number of times they used

In eighth grade, we had to give oral reports on some aspect of current events. Another kid and I would count the number of times the poor sap-of-the-week said "um" or "uh." And then announce it during the critique session.

Needless to say, I practiced

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[hookitt 1]

Quote

We do not, on the whole, want to revisit poor language habits...

Wow..Michele... You rule.

That was rad

You're one groovy chick. You're happenin in a far out way
-

My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto