Michele 1 #1 April 5, 2003 It's going to be a great day. I am playing hooky from the office, taking a break from all the files and problems with appraisals, and meeting up with Andi (BikerBabe) and Mark (Shark) for a day of jumping in the springtime air at Elsinore. There are clouds, and they don't look so nice and puffy - dark glowering undersides...but there are lots of holes. There is a light wind, and when the sun strikes me, I am warm. The promise of a day in the sky with friends is overwhelming, and I make it to Elsinore by 9. I hook up with Grasshopper and Mark, and we start to get ready. Gear gets rented, my Spectre is rescued from it's homeless shelter (it's cardboard box), fluffed out and packed away, waiting for the time it will blossom and play...and when this little tiny person comes roaring up on a motorcycle, I know it's gotta be Andi. Two thoughts whisk through my mind..."Yay, here she is", and "Geesh, she's gonna float on me...". As it is Andi's first time at Elsinore, I go with her and get her all waivered and taped. We sit in the sun, she and Mark and I, and talk about things. Just things. I am getting my head ready to jump, Andi is on vacation, and Mark is enjoying the company of us. The clouds are still here, and there is a bit of wind - maybe 7 or so. It's good, and now, it's time to jump. We decide on a 3-way for my first jump of the day, and first jump with these two. It's gonna be fun, but challenging, because these are good skydivers - she's a coach, and Mark is an AFF instructor...and I know that I will learn heaps and heaps...but still, that nagging little voice in my head screams "you are going to screw it up for them, you are going to waste their time and money. They have better things to do". As we plan the dive, and teach me where I am supposed to go and how to get there, I frantically search for the switch to shut down this voice. It's not as loud as it can get, and for small favors I am thankful, but I wish it didn't have to talk at all.... Gear on, walk the mock-up, and load is called. I am still sorting out the exit order as we get into the plane, sit down and get belted up. It's a cramped load, there are lots of teams practicing for the SSL meet, and as we snuggle together and take off, I look around and see some students. They are looking like I feel...nervous, scared, excited, and determined...the ride up is bumpy, and as we pass through the clouds, I check where the bottom is - just about 5.5. That's where we break, and I make a mental note of it. As we emerge from the puffy whitegrey, we are at about 6.5....damn, that's a thick cloud. We won't get it, will we? Winds up here are pretty strong, too...and I realize that I don't know who's going to key the points, and then I decide I'll just watch both Andi and Mark. Andi's grinning, and looks so tiny squooshed as she is between two large men... Green light, and the loads before us go. Mark gets his head out and checks the spot, and now it's climbout time. I kneel, position hands, and swing out into front float, widen my feet for security, and my knees are shaking. Mark is ready, and Andi grabs our chest straps and makes eye contact. We all nod. Holy shit there's the count and let go and I'm early and don't present really well and we're out and I've got ahold of Mark and Andi and why the hell am I seeing sky and no fucking funneling and I arch and we slide down the hill and somehow we get stable and I haven't let go and here we are in a round. I look at these faces, Mark and Andi, and grin. It really is weird to see fullface helmets, but their eyes are smiling.... Andi lets go, and we go to the next point. And it's smooth. Check alti. And then the next point. And it's smooth. I'm not backsliding, I'm moving around, and this is fun. Check alti. I flatten my legs a little, drive to the middle, and we are all there. The next point goes, and I'm outside a little bit, and we start moving in a circle...I've forgotten to look at the middle, I'm sailing away, Mark where are you? and how come I can't get there and then flatten my legs and LOOK...and then I get there somehow, get the grip, and then on to the next one. Check alti. That's complete, and I'm not really thinking too much about how to do this, just somehow doing it. And then the next one, and then release and back to a circle... Which is good, because I look down, and now there's this really big white cloud and I can't see the ground and I look at Andi and shake my head "NONONONONO" I am soooo not letting either of you go, it's a cloud and I gulp and hold my breath and then remember that it is a cloud and it won't hurt and I can't drown and Andi and Mark have good holds and then I see my nailpolish and it's bright against the whiteness and I try to smile and gulp air instead...despite knowing I shouldn't be concerned, I am scared still; and as I check my altitude, I realize that this cloud is thick, we are lower than planned breakoff but not "low" yet, and emergency procedures about clouds pop through my head and I don't want to track in one because there are people around me and it's thick and cold and white and smothering and there's the ground, thank god I can see the ground and we break and we track and my track takes me about 18 inches and I'm chipping and I know we're low for me and I clear air and wave and pull.... And as I reach for the toggles my hands are numb and then they start to sting and it hurts. I head for the dz, and look for other canopies and it's really cold and I count heads and we are all there and the ground is really moving fast...I'm downwind at 2K, and I watch the canopies ahead of me land and see their landing direction, and they are swooping in and I get a little confused but then I understand it and set it up and the downwind leg is downwind, cross leg wind is crosswind, and final is into the wind...and then it's not but I haven't changed heading and I'm crabbing and at 100 feet and it's too low and damnit what changed? What did I do wrong but no time, here's the ground, and I wait and I wait and I wait and want to flare but am still too high and it's a little fast and still I wait and now....and flare and flare hard and full and I plane out and drift sideways and slide in on my left leg and tumble and roll and then clamber around trying to keep the 210 on the ground. I drop a toggle and in the wrestling match it gets twisted around the other lines...and I've done it, the jump was good, it was fun, Andi didn't float, I didn't sink, there were points made, and I had played with friends! I do the happy dance, and gather my stuff together and come back in...but damned if it isn't windy! And cold!!! I really need to think about gloves...and the AFF student behind us comes running up to me with a bloody nose and says "it was so great to watch your exit - you were great" and I kinda look at him and he's grinning and high from his jump and realize that to him, I am an experienced jumper even if I don't think so, and so smile and congratulate him on his jump and tell him he's bloody and he is so high he doesn't care, just grins and if you stuck him in a dark room he'd light it up... And then Andi and I debrief, and as I start talking about how I flubbed it up, Andi looks at me and says "No. What's right? What did you feel good about? What went well? How many points?" and I sort of shake my head a little, perplexed. She looks at me, and tells me "Michele, you are much better than you think you are. Most people would have let go on exit, not muscled it and stayed there. We didn't chase you, not once, and we turned at least 7 points. Think about that, at jump 59. Think about that!" and so I grin and think about that and get a little warm fuzzy cause she's right. And then Mark comes over and he says "well done. Good job on the exit". What I don't confess is that I am terrified of losing track of people, so I don't like to let go....and then we laugh and talk about my expression as we went into the clouds, and the worst part about the jump was that I didn't have good eye contact with Andi and then I say that no-one told me she was the "captain" for the jump, and so I didn't know and was trying to watch both at once which was hard. But they're right, and I should have clarified that when it occurred to me in the plane. And then we manifest on a load, but the winds have picked up and so I decide I am not jumping this one, and then Andi decides the same, and so does Mark. Mark goes off and Grasshopper brings out his canopy kite, and we fly it around. I keep crashing it, though, and 'Hopper tells me I shouldn't try high performance landings. I cross my eyes and stick out my tongue at him, and we all laugh. It is gorgeous, albeit cold and windy, but the sky is bright blue, not a cloud near, and as Andi and I watch, we see two F-16s cross through the blue and bank against a cloud. Dark grey birds against the whiteness of a cloud, and blue behind them; I sit here, sun warming my face, playing with friends, and a deep relaxation invades me. How glorious to watch a hawk hover, not 20 feet up, not 50 feet away. How gracious the land looks...and how black the clouds look as the crest the mountains and start spilling into the valley. We check the winds, and they've been gusting to 20 or so, and have been as low as 5. I am concerned, but Andi introduces me to Canopywhore (Ken), his girlfriend Monica, and another man named Chad. We decide to do a 6way, and I really don't like the winds and I am nervous about the group. I don't know half of them, but Andi says it will be fine, and I agree. I have to push myself, I know, but.....we walk through it, and I learn my place. Andi is the one I'm watching, I make sure I know that, and we agree that at 5.5 we will break and they will all track from me because I don't track well.... And now we're at the mock-up and I can't get my feet right and I am shaking and Airweenie is trying to assert herself "you can't do this, the winds are too high, you're no good, you're going to mess it up for all these jumpers, you stupid girl" and I tell her to shut up and watch my hands shake as I tighten straps and check for all gear. I am in gloves for the first time, this jump...and I dunno about that, either. Ohmygod... And up and into the plane. And I shake so hard and can't get my helmet fastened and Andi pokes my knee and says "take the glove off" and grins at me. I look at her....]i]of course take the glove off! So I do, and get fastened, and then sit there for 10,000 feet questioning myself and my nerve to try this. Gear up, green light, to the door we move...and now for the compressed accordion exit... Mark takes his place quickly, and so does Ken. Me, on the other hand, is looking at this door, two guys, and this wee space to fit into. I kneel down and swing out, and try to get my feet in the right spot, but Ken won't move, so I get my leg behind and inside it. I try to get my hand on his harness, and can't slide it in because of the glove, but no choice, so I wedge it in there. I try to trail my left leg back, but am too scared of losing my grip of the door and falling off and pulling everyone else out and I look at Andi and she nods and gives the count and I slipjump backwards and forget to see the plane but do strongarm Andi and splay myself into the sky and isn't there supposed to be someone in front of me? And now here she is, and for some reason now we are all apart and Ken is closest to me and he and I get together and I get a grip on his arm and I am not where I should be and I can't feel anyone gripping me. Andi comes in and as she's my partner, Ken shakes me and I reach and grab her leg and there's a neon green grip in front of me and I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do but it's there so I grab it and then I feel myself whack someone with my right foot and I know I've just kicked someone in the head and they are hurt because of me but the dive is continuing so I guess it's o.k. and then thump again and whack again and I am facing the wrong way to see anything so I pay attention to my body and check alti and bend my knees and stick my feet in the air... And as we're jostling each other, as we are flying through the sky, as I am arching and trying to stay stable and solid, I realize how much out of my element I really am, up there with 5 other people. I know I will be o.k., these are all very good jumpers, and that they will handle themselves and be able to get out of the way, but I still realize how very unnerved I am by not being able to see everyone, and know what they're doing...as I calm myself, and as we begin to sort ourselves out, I check alti, and now it's time to break and so I watch everyone turn and track and I check airspace and wave off. I reach for the hacky, and, because I am wearing gloves, I fumble for a grip. I get a good one, and I pull and throw. I am open and am under a good canopy in time to see Ken falling past me and he waves and deploys far below me and as I reach for the toggles I see the larger group that had been behind us break and track and deploy, as well. I am flying right towards opening canopies, and, although there is a great deal of distance, I turn my back to them to give them more room. I look around, and the rolling, home-dotted hills and checkerboarded with shadows from the clouds, muted colors there but dazzling brightness feet away. I do a penetration check, realize I am headed into the wind at 2K, and am far away from the dz. I turn and spot the dz, and now I am cruising. I am flying fast over the ground, really fast, and watch a canopy below me crab sideways. It's surreal, watching that from above...I look for the landing pattern, and it's from the east to the west...I don't even chance a 360, just little corrections, and try to get the landing planned out accurately. I head downwind, and damned but I'm hauling across the sky heading for the highway...flat turn onto crosswind, and am being blown sideways and back. I hold it as long as I dare, and flat turn onto final....and come to a complete stop. Nothing forward at all, not one whit....it's like I am sliding down a wall. I consider front riser nudges, something to help get me away from the hedges below me...and decide to not touch them this close to the ground. Finally, at about 50 feet, the wind lessens and I get about 15 meters into the grass landing area. I am still mostly straight down and now going a little sideways, as well...so I counter that with a toggle, and think well, o.k., I can do this, I'll be all right. Time to flare, and I start it...and about halfway through the flare the wind stops, and I start turning. I rapidly get the toggles even, but there's no real time, and I start turning again, the other way. All I want is to be on the ground.....and then I am plf'ing, and struggling with the canopy and scared a bit and shaking badly....Andi and I debrief, and it turns out that I was in the right place most of the jump, but that others were having a hard time. I didn't kick anyone in the head, and no-one got hurt. The wind is picking up again, and I go find out that all students had been put on hold. I mentally whack myself - I shouldn't have jumped...winds were gusting to 25 when I was landing, and I knew the winds were twitchy, changeable, gusting and then dead calm, changing directions, when I went up. Although I walked away from it, nothing more than a pocketful of dirt, some grass stains, and perhaps a minor bruise or two, and while I know I have to start getting out of my comfort zone more, this was not the right time to do that. As Andi and I are sitting in chairs, freezing and talking about the jump, what went wrong and what went right, I see this very tall guy stride past. He looks at me oddly, almost like he recognizes me, but I don't really recognize him. I nod, and he walks on down to the packing area. And then he comes back, and points at me..."Something tells me you are Michele from Dropzone.com" says he, and voila! Recognition hits me....Zenister! I leap up and hug him, and ladies, this man can hug well! We laugh, and he gets a chair, and joins Andi and I in our freezefest and talk about things small and large, important and trivial, as we watch the storm approach. I rib Zenister about not being in his tiger stripes, which is what I was looking for, and he tells me he's too cold, and it's too windy, to jump today. As the storm spills over the mountains, as the day gets colder and windier, and as rainbursts film the horizon, I know I'm done. There is one more load going up, and as I am getting my stuff together, I start talking to someone. He is nervous about jumping in these conditions, but decides to get up and out anyway. He has student gear on, but I don't know if he's a student or not. I wish him luck, and, as we stand at the space heater I see through the tent roof that there is someone with two out....and I believe it was the guy I was talking to. He manages to land, though, no significant injuries. As I leave, I see him talking to two or three guys, one I know is an instructor... As I drive through the night toward home and warmth and my oh-so-needed bed, I reflect on the day. I've made new friends (Andi is simply the cutest thing there is!), danced in the sky, turned 7 points on a three way, pushed myself, and learned limits. What a great day.... Hope you all have great jumps this weekend! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #2 April 5, 2003 great telling Michele. I think you do LOTS better than you give your self credit for...but i think i'm gonna pout..didnt even get a mention..ussually i make more of an impression than that... ____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #3 April 5, 2003 Sorry, Zenister....I shall rectify that immediately...(btw, there were lots of people there yesterday - I didn't mention anything about the Navy guys there, or how they landed a 2stack, or flew with the flag, or even Hammo and Yoyo, the low turns because of the wind, etc....blah blah...but you're right....) I dunno about giving myself more credit, though. I can't judge that very well. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zenister 0 #4 April 5, 2003 yea those Navy guys near landing those two stacks were sweet..i was kicking myself this morning for not getting a couple of pictures... wouldnt you know it one of my knucklehead operators jacked up a system at 4am this morning, so at 0700 as i'm loading my gear in the car to go to Perris i get a call and head back to Irwin.. fixed the problem in a few hours, but now the winds have picked up so i'm not driving back down this afternoon..grrr one less day of jumping..at least his first sgt put him on 'soviet missle watch' thanks for the mention, now i've been in one of the famous Michele's lovely skydiving narratives...wheeee happy dance! now we have to tempt her over to the dark side____________________________________ Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilotdave 0 #5 April 5, 2003 Just curious... how cold was it? I can't remember the last jump I made without gloves. Musta been last august or something. I even had to wear em when I was jumping in florida in january (in the 40s out). I consider the low 50s to be warm now, even though I wear gloves. Can't wait till summer! Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #6 April 5, 2003 Hi, Dave... I dunno exactly how cold it was at alti. I do know that I looked around the plane and I was the only one who was not wearing gloves.... I would suspect that the ground temp was in the mid 60's, without the wind, and if you were sitting in the sun. Add either wind or clouds, and the temp dropped rather much. I know that by the end of the day, I was wearing 2 turtlenecks, a tee shirt, and a warm fuzzy jacket and I was still shivering. I've never worn gloves until the 2nd jump yesterday, and I was a tad discombobulated with them, but all worked well. I think I will invest in a pair for myself. I also know that even when I jumped in January adn February, I was not as cold as I was yesterday... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilotdave 0 #7 April 6, 2003 Yeah, I got myself some football gloves that work pretty well. I made sure to test them out a lot before I trusted them in the air. When it's really cold I wear a pair of those knitted stretchy gloves under them. Even then I can still feel all my handles pretty easily. I definitely need to be moving somewhere that the mid 60s is cold though! I'm moving to CT in a couple months, but my company has a site in west palm beach. Maybe I need to transfer... Dave Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #8 April 6, 2003 Great read as always, Michele! Glad you had fun and were ok with your last landing.Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #9 April 6, 2003 Quote Glad you had fun and were ok with your last landing. Had great fun...and that last landing was really weird. It really felt like I was sliding down a wall, and then all of a sudden I was moving forward...spooky! Which is why, you see, I decided to sit down and chat. I am much better at chatting than I am at landing...But did ya see? I did a 7 point 3-way! YAYAYAYAY!!! And Andi and Mark said they didn't tow me around the sky either...I had to fly outside (I'm still not sure what that means, though) and everything. I was so proud of myself...[grin]. Hope you're well - miss ya! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shark 0 #10 April 7, 2003 I owe beer, now. That was my FIRST jump with Michele and Andi. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #11 April 7, 2003 Michelle: I've been kicking myself about not showing up at 'Snore on Saturday afternoon after a golf game to jump. I figured that the winds were too high, but I was still itching. Thanks for lettign me know about this. I like my tib-fib just the way it is. Another great story, Michelle. Your way with words astounds... My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #12 April 7, 2003 Quote I owe beer, now. That was my FIRST jump with Michele and Andi. LOL, um, yes, you do... That was a really fun dive until there was all this white puffy stuff...Thanks, Mark. You're worth waiting for... at least this time you didn't stand me up! Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #13 April 7, 2003 Quote Thanks for lettign me know about this. I like my tib-fib just the way it is. LOL, yes, well....that was my thought, too, as I slid down the invisible wall...actually it was more like "shitshitshitshitshitohshitflarewaitwaitflare... owww"... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BikerBabe 0 #14 April 7, 2003 *waves to all* So THAT'S why I didn't see Zenister at Perris on Saturday! Sorry you had to woork, man. Michele, girl, you obviously still don't believe what I told you time and time again...you are a better skydiver than you let on. Don't be fooled, people! If you go to jump with Michele, she'll surprise you, because she really can skydive better than she lets on. I had a great weekend, though it was cold (Cali isn't supposed to be that cold!). Michele, if you never push your limits or make mistakes, how in thwe world are you supposed to learn anything? Oh, and you didn't mention how spectacular that 6-way exit was. Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #15 April 7, 2003 Quote Michele, girl, you obviously still don't believe what I told you time and time again...you are a better skydiver than you let on. Oh, I believe you. I just don't believe me. When I took the 2-way camp with MJ, wearing the same gear, same clothes, I was all over the sky. My legs were doing their own thing, and he was chasing me. Dunno what happened, but that hasn't happened since. And I just don't understand that.... Quote I had a great weekend, though it was cold (Cali isn't supposed to be that cold!). It was waaaaaaaaaaay colder than normal...and you're right - SoCA in April isn't supposed to be that cold...sorry. I'll have a talk with the weatherman next time you're out. Deal? Quote Michele, if you never push your limits or make mistakes, how in thwe world are you supposed to learn anything? [Wink] Oh, and you didn't mention how spectacular that 6-way exit was. Was it spectacular? I couldn't tell - never having done one like that before, I wasn't sure...I do know it was scary and weird for me. And you are right - if I don't move out of my comfort zone (safely!!!) then I will not improve. But girl, those winds were really out of the zone for me....Great to finally put a face and voice to you - any time you want to come out, I'll jump with you in a heartbeat. BTW, how'd your husband do on his racing? He won, I hope!! Hugs and ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
