Wednesday Funny

[a97virago 0]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I needed a laugh and this did the trick!!!


A group of girlfriends went on vacation.
They see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads "For Women Only".

Since they were without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.

The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works..... "We have 5 floors...go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there - It's easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what's inside"

So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and kind"... the friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the Second floor reads: "All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly".

This wasn't going to do, so the friends move up to the Third floor where the sign reads: "All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women."

This was good but there were still two more floors...so on to the Fourth floor - the sign was perfect: "All the men here have perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive to women; are perfect lovers; they are also single, rich and straight".

The women seemed pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth.

When they reach the Fifth floor, there is only a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."


Larry

Larry A-43434

[CrazyIvan 0]

That's not a joke....that's a FACT!!!

__________________________________________
Blue Skies and May the Force be with you.

[happythoughts 0]

A woman is furiously going at it with her husband's best friend when the phone rings. She hops out of bed to answer it.

She says, "Hello. OK. Bye."
"Who was that?" asks the guy.
"Just my husband," she replies.
"Oh, crap, I'd better get out of here. Did he say where he was?"
"Don't worry," says the woman. "He said he's down at the bar playing a few games of pool with you."

[jerry81 10]

A couple has been happily married for twenty years. Their sex life is great, although the husband insists on always making love in the dark.
One night, however, the wife decides she's had enough. In the middle of the act, she hits the lightswitch- only to discover that what she had always thought was her husbands huge penis is actually a dildo he's holding in his hand, and that his real member is actually tiny.
"What the hell!? Frank- explain this to me right now!!" yells the wife at her husband.
"Sure," he replies; "as soon as you explain to me our three children!"

---

[ladyskydiver 0]

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"

The Cowboy says "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her... so I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt...so I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... so I did.

Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts... so I did.

Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town cowboy... "

...And here I am.

(See, Blonde Men do exist)

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[jmpnkramer 0]

Quote

(See, Blonde Men do exist)

That is not a blonde man. It is called a DUMBASS Redneck!!!!!!

The REAL KRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMER!

"HESITATION CAUSES DEATH!!!"
"Be Slow to Fall into Friendship; but when Thou Art in, Continue Firm & Constant." - SOCRATES