peppermint 0 #1 April 14, 2003 It was strange sitting through a conversation last night where one guy was complaining about the possibility of his girlfriend accompanying him on an upcoming trip. He was talking about how miserable it would be, and that essentially she would spoil his good time. It's understandable in that it's not an event that she's particularly interested in and she demands a significant amount of his attentions and time. Who really wants to go to something they enjoy with someone who isn't really able to have a good time, share in the good time, or let the other person have a good time? It doesn't really sound like fun for either person and it would seem a better compromise or alternative would be in order. But that's not particularly my issue or concern. My concern is: who really wants to be that person? Who really wants to be that person whom people laugh at and about? Who wants to be that person who becomes a punchline to the person they care about? I don't. I don't want to find myself in places and situations where I'm obviously not wanted - which to me is even worse than being somewhere that I wasn't too keen on going to in the first place. Sometimes I feel like I'm very distant from things - and it's not because I don't care or don't want to be there, but because I don't feel like I'm wanted and therefore am trying to give a bit of room. Bah - it just seems like a lose-lose situation when you're that person. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I know there's a fair amount of PMS talking here, but the funny thing about PMS isn't that it creates issues or concerns - it just makes me more sensitive to and about them...and knowing that doesn't make it any better either. The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vallerina 2 #2 April 14, 2003 Quote the funny thing about PMS isn't that it creates issues or concerns - it just makes me more sensitive to and about them... I completely agree with that! Quote I don't want to find myself in places and situations where I'm obviously not wanted - which to me is even worse than being somewhere that I wasn't too keen on going to in the first place. I guess the only solution to that is to do whatever the hell it is you want to do. That way, if you aren't "wanted," well, who cares? You want to be there, so that's all that matters. I'm frequently going to parties/bars/etc where I'm not wanted! I still have fun! If she wasn't asked (because that whole compromise thing in going to places you might not otherwise does occur occasionally), and she doesn't want to go, well, then that makes her kinda dumb, I guess. There's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppermint 0 #3 April 14, 2003 You are right, of course. I just wonder why people allow themselves to get in those types of situations and they don't realize they are not wanted. The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #4 April 14, 2003 I guess you could ask my EX gf about what it is like Maybe, just maybe i was a little self conscious about not wanting her to spoil my fun and that is why i cutaway Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppermint 0 #5 April 14, 2003 At least you broke it off instead of dragging it out when you knew you didn't want her around. Right? The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #6 April 14, 2003 I broke it off fairly quickly when i realized that i wasn't having any fun with her and i didn't look forward to being around her. of course i could have learned all this had i payed attention the FIRST time i dated her Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #7 April 14, 2003 Quote who really wants to be that person? Do you feel like you are that person then ? -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppermint 0 #8 April 14, 2003 Heck no! I just can't begin to imagine being in that place. As I said, it was just a vent. Women have come so far, yet some remain...behind. The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flyhi 24 #9 April 14, 2003 QuoteI'm frequently going to parties/bars/etc where I'm not wanted! A bar that doesn't want young, legal females, hmmmm.... Were there a lot of guys wearing chaps and dancing with each other there?Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #10 April 14, 2003 Quote Women have come so far, yet some remain...behind. And then you go and spoil it. Quote Current mood: Bewildered. Women...awww bless em. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
peppermint 0 #11 April 14, 2003 Haha! I always try to spoil it for the masses. The flowing wave returns not, nor does the passing hour. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pablito 0 #12 April 14, 2003 The important part is being aware of what is going on. I that person choose to be with the other person what are they doing together? "If you don't overcome your fears they will overcome you first" Shady Monkey/6Segundos Rodriguez/AKA Pablito Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnischalke 0 #13 April 14, 2003 Maybe I am taking this the wrong way, but yer friend sounds like the textbook definition of an asshole (not a personal attack if they ain't a member). Sounds like he's either 15 or has the maturity level of a 15-year-old. If you have a SO, who you don't want around for most of your life experiences, seems to me you shouldn't be with that person. Personally, I want to be with someone whom I am comfortable sharing stuff--lots of stuff. I guess it also goes without saying, but making the person you say you are in a relationship with into the butt of a joke, for whatever reason (to impress friends?), is just wrong. Sometimes you have to view yourself as the other person to refresh your perspective of how you treat, talk to, talk about and act around (and act without) the person you build a relationship with. Like "How would I feel if she/he...(fill in the blank with what you were about to do or what you are currently doing)?" If you can't be comfortable with the answer to that question, seems you got some issues to work on and decisions to make. From what you relay, I guess the other problems I have with your friend are he's got no integrity, honesty or communication skills. He's talking to other people about a big issue and has yet to talk to her about it. I got a feeling if she knew what he thot, she'd be spinning tires half-way down the block from his house, and brakelights at the stopsign would be the last thing he ever saw of her. I guess this does hit a nerve, because it's something I hate (and I don't hate much). If you were the person he was talking about, that makes you the last to know--quite the unenviable position to be in. edit: damn linking verbs--there should be a button that changes them automatically when you change the subject to a plural. mike Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills--You know, like nunchuk skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
