Jessica 0 #1 April 15, 2003 Palmetto Tiger sent me this. It is so funny. Skydiving is for cool people only Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #2 April 16, 2003 BWAHAHAHA! I just sent that to my brothers! That fuckin' rocks! NEWS: AL-JAZEERA REFUSES TO AIR SCARY KIM JUNG-IL TAPE Chilling Video ‘Does Not Meet Current Needs,’ Network Says A supposedly scary tape submitted by North Korean President Kim Jung-Il to the Al Jazeera network has been turned down for broadcast, angering the mercurial dictator, sources said today. “While we appreciated Mr. Kim’s submission, his scary tape does not meet our needs at the present time,” a spokesman for Al Jazeera said. “However, we encourage him to submit more scary tapes in the future.” Observers of the international scene speculated that President Kim submitted his scary tape in an effort to keep up with Osama bin Laden, who appeared in a scary tape of his own earlier in the week, inciting Mr. Kim’s envy. “Kim can’t stand it when he thinks someone is being scarier than he is,” a source close to Kim said. “He started up his nuclear weapons program after he saw Anna Nicole Smith on TV.” According to the source, Kim “pulled an all-nighter” concocting his evil tape, even consulting his extensive videotape library of villains’ speeches from James Bond films, including his favorite, an insane tirade by Christopher Walken in “A View to a Kill.” “He’s really disappointed that Al Jazeera didn’t like his scary tape, I can tell you that,” said Mr. Kim’s associate. “He really busted his fanny on it.” For their part, however, Al Jazeera executives said they have been “overwhelmed” by submissions of scary tapes in recent weeks, with madmen from around the world vying to become the next Osama bin Laden. “It’s been like the evil version of ‘American Idol’ around this place,” one network executive complained. **** BOROWITZ ON CNN FRIDAY **** Andy Borowitz wraps up the week’s biggest stories this Friday on CNN’s “American Morning” with Paula Zahn. Check local listings. Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
