KawiZX900 0 #1 April 18, 2003 From some random website I found.... not bad.. Full-fledged, silver-sparkling disco balls, the kind ABBA was created for. I have nothing against disco balls. Actually, I'm a big activist of anything that glitters, particularly if the colors involved are pink or baby blue and boast some kind of fairy tale element. But come on--a disco ball in the office? I know what you're thinking. "She must work for one of those new media companies..." I do. And yes, it's a startup. And I wish I could tell you we had all these cool perks like free bagels in the kitchen and an unlimited supply of cran-grape Ocean Spray intermingled with freshly squeezed lemonade in a bottomless cooler. But we don't. We have a miniature baby plastic basketball hoop in the 'big' conference room. Our office is based on the open-space layout. No cubes, no walls, just pointless, shoulder-high wall dividers, that provide no privacy, and instead contribute to the mouse in a maze feeling. Instead of desks, we have doors. Resting on filing cabinets. No desk lamps. Just overhead fluorescent glares, sure to promote discomfort and discourage prolonged productivity. But the regulated corporate cheer doesn't stop with disco fun. We have plastic balls. You know, the kind they toss babies in a Chuck E Cheese? About a year ago, another Let's Have Fun!™ mandate disguised as plastic primary-colored balls arrived at the front desk. Our operations staff kind of threw them around the various areas, and people--most of them transient employees who surely were deprived of any form of real life--began to throw them around. It began with a few tentative toe kicks. Hours later it was full-on war. Purple balls smacking noses and blue ones getting stuck beneath desks--uh, I mean doors-- The best part is that all of these idiotic pep-rally campaigns come out of each department's "morale budget." This is an actual accounting line item. "Well," you're thinking, "at least you must be getting paid really well. It is, after all a new media startup." WRONG. Unlike most of my coworkers, I am not living paycheck to paycheck--but no thanks to DingBats, Inc. My generous parents got me through college debt-free. So unlike my comrades, I don't have a monthly college loan payout. But I'm definitely not saving anything, nor do I see any kind of monetary advancement in my corporate future--despite increased responsibility and workload. And I don't lead a luxurious lifestyle. I eat nice meals out about once a week, and I don't have a roommate sharing my modest 1-bedroom apartment (in Austin, mind you, not Manhattan). But I still think $12 for a t-shirt is exorbitant, and I haven't bought new shoes in months. Oh sure, we get raises. But they're not merit-based. Instead, they correspond to some mythical cost-of-living increase. I think something like 2 percent a year--two measly percent, which is nowhere near my community's cost of living increase. But, (I'm constantly reminded) we do have stocks."Ah," you're thinking. "That's what makes it all worth it." WRONG AGAIN. Really really wrong and bad and evil and not nice. You see, that's what lured me to this job in the first place. Piles of shares which, I was led to believe, would someday make my measly salary $$$$$ instead of just cents. Wrong again. Okay, sure, sometime in the next 20 years my stock might actually be worth noticing. But not right now. And right now is when I need it. What's that old saying? Better a bird in the hand, than.... But instead, we get disco balls. Oh, and free cokes--at least sporadically--in a refrigerator that leaks. Viva new media. Whatever. Anyone got any lottery tips? Accelerate hard to get them looking, then slam on the fronts and rollright beside the car, hanging the back wheel at eye level for a few seconds. Guaranteed reaction- Dave Sonsky Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
