skybytch 273 #1 May 7, 2003 BILL BENNETT LOSES WIFE IN POKER GAME Irate Spouse Demands He Win Her Back 'This Instant' Gambling woes have taken their toll on former Education Secretary William Bennett once again as Mr. Bennett revealed today that he lost his wife in a high-stakes poker game Saturday night. "While I regret putting my wife on the table, I felt that my hand was really strong and there was no way I'd lose her," the "Book of Virtues" author said at a Washington press conference. "I was totally flabbergasted when Jim Baker countered with a royal flush." A spokesman for former secretary of state James A. Baker III confirmed that he had in fact won Mrs. Bennett in the Saturday night card game, but refused to elaborate any further. But in a statement released later today, Mrs. William Bennett excoriated her husband for putting her in the kitty of the poker game without her permission and demanded that he win her back "this instant." Cornered by reporters outside his home where he was arranging furniture and other personal items for an upcoming yard sale, Mr. Bennett said he had given up gambling for good and therefore had "no intention" of trying to win back his wife. "Trying to win back Elayne at the poker table would be gambling, and I've learned that gambling is bad," he said. "I hope Elayne understands my position." President Bush, who had been tight-lipped about the Bennett affair, later offered these words of support for the embattled Republican: "I'm glad Bill Bennett stopped gambling before he lost his shirt, because no one wants to see Bill Bennett without his shirt." --- From - http://www.borowitzreport.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TEB6363 0 #2 May 7, 2003 Hey Lisa, Any pictures of the main characters.... I just can't picture who they all are.. I'm also supprised that there was no remark about Clinton added in somewere. Once the plane takes off, you're gonna have to land - Might as well jump out!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BoobieCootie 0 #3 May 7, 2003 Smart alternative to divorce which Mr. Bennett would have had to pay large amounts in alimony Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinker 0 #4 May 8, 2003 bill bennett was head of the govt dept of education or something. wrote a bunch of books that are generally considered pretty right wing. kinda one of those "look at the 'virtuous ones' gambling--hypocrite!" -the artist formerly known as sinker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #5 May 8, 2003 QuoteAny pictures of the main characters.... http://www.msnbc.com/news/908430.asp Also worth reading . . . http://slate.msn.com/id/2082638/quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
