Saturday at Perris

[Michele 1]

I manage to make it through the mass of dotcommers and go and get my gear. While I have had it in pieces at my house, I have had trouble imagining what it would look like all assembled....and there it is, laying with a group of other rigs Vinny had worked on in the last few days. How cool it is to sling it over my shoulder...my own gear. Not new, not color coordinated, but all mine, all together, and all working. Vinny reminds me to get hard housings, and I promise him I will. He tells me what to expect should I have a mal without them, and says "it might be really hard to cut away. You just pull and pull and pull and never stop, you understand me?" which dampens my mood a bit. I understand, Vinny, and I will remember. I promise....

Quick hugs and grins, and I'm off. Under cloudy overcast skies I get squared away with manifest (who put money on my account???? Why, it's Wingi, that's who...damn, if he were a little older.....), and wander around. I wonder who and what will be my first jump. I kinda want it to be mellow, maybe with Diablopilot (JP) because he gave me the container. Something easy and quiet. Something relaxing with time to see what the gear is like. Nothing scary. While on weatherhold I practice with my gear, knowing that if we are on hold for too long, I am bound to get Airweenie-fied and extremely cautious...

Time to go, manifest announces, we see the sun and it's gonna be gorgeous! Unfortunately, JP's working, so I get together with JT, Flyguy (Ken), Islandcool (Ed) and Clownburner (James), and we decide that we will do a jump together. Out of the otter, Island front float, Clownie rear, and me holding chest straps. Joe and Ken will chase us out and dock. Sounds easy, should be fine. Into gear, and I am amazed at how well it fits...and reach and touch handles, reach and touch, reach and touch, 'til I am happy with the muscle memory. The hackey is brand new, leather, and sits up a little higher than I am used to, but I can get to it easily on the ground, so I should be alright in the air. I hope. The belly flutters, but there is no time to second guess myself; I've got my guys and we are gonna fly. I think perhaps Airweenie has stayed on weatherhold, and I am thankful. Double knot my shoes, climb into the Otter, and rolling down the runway I look around...I am here, this is my own gear, and I am with friends from far away and near. I can't help but grin...this shit is sooooooooooo cool!!!!

10K, time to final check and get helmets and goggles. O.K., fine. ready. Green light, out people go, into the blue, as the line creeps closer to the door. My brain clenches, but then I remember that breathing is good, so I take a huge one. And there go the guys, in the door, and I reach, grab chest straps, angle shoulders and shake. Out-in-GOOOOOOOOOOOO and then I am in the sky, staring at Ed and James, and somehow we are all on our backs but linked together and no, see, we need to be belly down and somehow we turn over still linked and I am arching and we are getting stable and it's about 9.5 and it's all good...and now I see Ed and James looking for Ken and Joe. There's a little pressure, a bit of tugging, and I lay my feet out and try to drive into the center...and shift my shoulders against the rotation, and we finally stop. A little difficulties in fallrate, but not too bad, and now I know someone is behind me because both Ed and James are watching him, and I see Joe coming in, angling, and he's coming a little fast, of course he'll slow down now, ok., he'll slow down now quick alti check and it's 6.3 fuck that's low for a funnel and he's not slowing down now and I drop grips moments before he lands on Ed's back and rolls them down and away and at about 5 feet lower than me I see Joe mouth "sorry"...Ken's behind me and James is somewhere below me and I have a big burble I'm in now and I'm kinda bouncing but not really so I flatten out and track and I'm away and I just keep tracking and slow down, clear air, and deploy. Pretty big nice canopy, all in place, everything ready, I look for the others and they're fine and wheeeeeeeeeee I am dancing in the sun and chasing the wind. I get set up a little bit out and north, and realize I am not gonna make it close, so I'd better do this right but I don't and get into some weird thermal stuff and I go up and now accelerate down and this is scary and there's the swoop pond and I don't want to get wet and what the fuck is going on as I go up again. So I do something stupid and go into half brakes, and start to come down and rapidly let go of the brakes and swing forward and now the ground is fast through my feet and the canopy is not flat and I stare at the ground and flare, hard, fast, and high...and of course the canopy does what it's supposed to do and lifts me higher and then drops me and I come crashing down onto my knees and palms and then I am in the air again and I had better get on my feet fast so they know I'm o.k. and thumpsmackshit roll and I scramble up on my feet, shaking, hurting, and my hand is bloody and it stings. Skin is rolled away, and as I rest my palms against my knees, breathing deeply, assessing the pain, I realize I am not broken and start to gather my gear together. I catch a ride back to the packing area, and James has gone and gotten ice and gives me a wipe and a bandaid for my hand. I sit there, shaken but not really stirred, and chew myself out for being so stupid and panicking when I know what to do...someone asks me if I will jump anymore, and I look at them and say "I only allow myself one serious crash per day. Sure I'll be jumping!!!" hoping I am right. I am right about the jumping, it's the crashing part which worries me...Rhino gives me a pair of gloves, and tells me they'll save my ass, but it's my hand I am concerned about.

Some breaths and a cigarette, and Wildblue and Wingi and I talk. Wingi has wanted to fruitloop me for two years, but has been sternly warned by others to not scare me, so we decide to do a rodeo. He manifests us onto the first 'Van, but it was shut down earlier and I get anxious about jumping the 'Van on it's first run. Wildblue is looking at me, kinda disgusted like, and I understand...he wants to jump, not contend with this. I tell him to go jump and I'll jump with him later, but they decide to jump with me if I will go switch them to an otter. So I do, bless manifest's heart (Dan understands me), and come back with a 40 minute call. But that's a little long, so Seth and I agree that if the 'Van comes back down, we'll go on 'Van 2...and Seth goes back and manifests us. It's a 20 minute call....and we talk about how this will go. "Trust the position, Michele" Seth says. "Just trust your arch". Wingi is going to hold onto my container and I am to simply walk out of the van, and Seth will fly camera. Airweenie is starting to make some noise, so I firmly tell my fear to GO AWAY!!!! I am with friends, they will not hurt me, the sky won't hurt me, the 'Van won't hurt me SHUT UP ALREADY and it does....and we sit down and belt up and the flying milk carton goes up and away and I remind myself to trust the position...trust the position...trust the position...and the door opens and I blink hard and swallow and feel the lurching as people exit and feel the plane shudder and try to remind myself this is fun. And it's our turn now and Seth goes to the strap and leans out and I just walk out of the plane and don't remember to get my feet up and back and so do a pretty smooth gainer but stablize pretty fast and now Wingi is riding me. And we have a wee turn going on but I can't really feel him there, but I do when his legs give out and he falls off. I look around, see Seth coming in, check alti, we're fine, and spot Wingi high up. I know Seth is on his way, so I watch Wingi....and then blammo I am backlooping and laughing and flatten out and Seth has fruitlooped me! I see Seth, stick out my tongue, do the fuckin' awesome signal at him, and laugh out loud...for I am in the sky with dear friends, and how lucky am I to be here at this moment and this time with these people??? And now it's time to turn and track, and deploy, and up and out comes my pretty canopy and life is just grand....and no crashing this time, I set up well, if a little far, and smoothly bring myself back down and step down right then left and ground the canopy and hop around doing the Happy Dance...'cause it's just plain good. Just plain good.

And now it's time to play with Mouth and Phreezone. We are gonna do something simple, easy...linked exit, and then simple grip switching. Dirt dive, I understand mostly what I need to do. We gear up and head out to the loading area, and there is Mike McGowan, lounging there in the quiet and shade. Mouth and I go and talk to him, and I mention how much I'd love to jump with him, and he's on a call with another group and so I guess it will be some other time. We go over the exit and then I see him coming over with this huge thing for a helmet and I look at Mouth and ask is he jumping with us and she says yes and hugs him and then tells me to smell his neck and so I do and oh, that man smells good and it's Mike McG and he's jumping with me! Oh blessed am I, I will make sure I smile. Even if I'm scared and it's all going to hell in a handbasket I will smile...and Phree's got his video and now call and it's time and we get wedged into the plane and I am so very tickled...I am with friends, Mike is here, and there is an overwhelming sense of comraderie that seeps into my brain and I close my eyes and really understand how amazing we all are, all this is, and how glorious and special and incredible and everything and I am proud of myself and everyone else for learning to fly, and sad Deuce isn't there...and now it's greenlight time, and grap chest straps and shake and out we go and I see a flashbulb go off and it's a good exit and I grin. It's time to let go of the grips, and so I do...and drop right out of the formation. I am still driving foward, where am I going? Accidentally cruising towards Mike, of course...hi Mike! I grin and turn around and come back towards the formation. Trying to remember what to do, I see Phree coming over and flatten out...he grabs me, and now he reaches out and grabs Mouth and pulls her in and I push out with my free arm trying to remember how to close the circle...looking towards what will be the center, I feel Mouth grip and now we are back and flashbulb goes off and grips get changed and I am in the right spot and grinning again and flash again and now they let go of me again and there I go, sinking out again....and this time I flatten out more quickly and get back to the formation and Lisa is there and it's all good until I realize the planet looks rather large and I look at my alti and Phree's got a finger over it and I can't see and I am looking for theirs and I can't see and then they let go and it's 3.6 and I have a camera guy somewhere and I start to panic and try to turn one way but Phree's there and then turn the other but Lisa's there, and I can't find Mike but it's clear in front of me and I flatten out and track hard but short and my brain cramps and I stop and the planet is pretty fucking close and I wave and dump and am under canopy at 2K. A little shaken, but knowing that I need to set up and land, I watch for the winds and the pattern, and follow others' pattern and set it up and bring it in within 5 paces of the flag in the center of the student landing area. I step landing out a little, and that was great but also really low and scary and I need to not have that happen again...but it's only my fault. I had a working alti and I could've broken grips if I had remembered to. But I did land well and I had fun. And as I clamber into the truck for the ride back, I am again overwhelmed at the blueness of the afternoon sky above me and I hear the quietness in my soul that only comes when alone in a field surrounded by my canopy. I feel the bigness in my heart of the sight of this world splayed beneath my feet as I touch the sky's face, hear the wind's laughter and know the joy of the birds...

Time and energy for one last jump, and finally I get to play with JP. We are doing a simple, easy Simon Says jump...no camera, no stress, no nothing, just jump...the 'Van again. Supposed to go backwards out of it, but I can't get my mind to stop wondering what would happen if I hit my chin on the door...I look at JP and tell him I just can't go backwards. He understands, and we re-organize the exit...grips, and I go frontwards. I just have to remember to get my feet onto my bottom faster than fast...into the 'Van we go, and Wingi's there with other DZ.comers and it's so amazing to see everyone there and how fun is this? And then JP asks me if I would like to help with the door...and Jessica's door drama is one I share, so I shake my head vigorously at him...NO!!! Sorry...and Wingi helps instead. And as I stand and take a breath, I see the earth spread out behind the door, in the silver orange of a late afternoon in spring, and see the mist as it creeps towards the mountains from the sea, and feel the air washing over me, inviting me, beckoning "Come and play" - "I'm coming" answers my soul...I take a deep breath, check handles, nod at JP, and we are out and I get my feet planted on my tush, and we are perfect and sliding down the hill and I grin...and let go of him. He does a 360, so do I. The other way now. And now a backloop...and I had to think for a moment, but then down comes my legs and over I go and I splay out like a cartoon character going through a wall and flatten out and breathe and relax and see JP smiling and I smile back and rest, taking it all in, the dwindling sunlight reflecting off his helmet, bouncing into the silverblue of the day, and just relax in the arms of the air, and check alti, and now it's time to turn and track but I'm tired I guess and I drop a shoulder and start veering sideways, and give a mealy little wave off and deploy and I am high enough to play a little, and so I do.

Dancing through the sky I come, sashaying and spiralling, watching JP set up his landing, knowing to follow him down, really just watching how he flies. I see him, bright yellow canopy etched against the brown of the desert floor, gracefully gliding through the air, and soaring to a pretty stop. And now it's time to set up, and again I come in about 5 paces from the flag, but am too tired to run through the thick ground so step down and then slide, but it's all good, and I walk over to JP and we talk about the flight and what was right and what I can do better, and then it hits me...I'm a real skydiver. Not really any good yet, but still...real. I am part of this group, not a poser, not an outsider, not a sham artist, but really and truly a skydiver. And with that comes a peace I had not understood before now...and a feeling of acceptence, of challenge, of personal pride, of confidence, and of understanding that what limits others is not my choice.

For all those who have taught me, I thank you. For those who have stood with me, I thank you. For those who lent me their confidence, supported me, encouraged me, who knew more about me than I knew about me, I thank you. I am learning to fly my body, yes, but I am also learning to fly my mind, fly my heart, and fly my soul. And for that gift, I thank you.

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[Casch 0]

WOW! 'Chele that was one HELL of a read. I felt like I was right there next to you in your jumps. It's so awesome, the thoughts and emotions, that pass through our minds during these times. Often times when I'm feeling low, I think to myself...I'm a skydiver. I jump out of airplanes for fun, and play in the sky with people so much more important in my life than these people around me. And then I laugh, and know that whatever it is that's bringing me down is NOTHING. Skydiving is where it's at, and I'm thankful for it. So, 'Chele, thank YOU!

[RevJim 0]

Wow.

That's all that comes to mind right now, Wow.

Hope to see you in Rantoul, Michele.

It's your life, live it!
Karma
RB#684 "Corcho", ASK#60, Muff#3520, NCB#398, NHDZ#4, C-33989, DG#1

[Islandcool 0]

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he lands on Ed's back and rolls them down and away and at about 5 feet lower than me I see Joe mouth "sorry"...

Yep... JT is a polite gentleman and very courteous even when funneling a formation. Mama raised him right. I'm sure he even said excuse me before he took me out. Man that was fun. It's all good. Gotta do that again soon.

Ed

[jceman 1]

Yes ma'am, you are a skydiver.

Keep on learning and we'll see you in Rantoul.

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money.

Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them?

[Raefordite 0]

Sounds like you are doing a great job. "Taking it all in" is an under statement to describe what you wrote. Enjoy

[DaGimp 0]

i can relate to the very same feelings as can all of us im sure. But for me its a little more recent, as i am learning to freefly, three weeks ago i got a coach and i can remember attempting to leave in a sit and trying to do all that he told me, 90 90 90. as im flipping and tumbling i finally get it and see him head down in front of me sayin AWSOME...that was the greatest feeling. So i can too feel your excitment of learning and sharing it with close friends.

Cant wait to meet you in Rantoul Michelle

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[oldnewbie 0]

As usual Michele, I totally enjoyed what you have written. I have never jumped with you and any of the people that you mentioned, but I feel like I was there with you!!! Thanks for making my day better listening to your dives!!(since i didn't get to dive this weekend)

[jtval 0]

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he lands on Ed's back and rolls them down and away and at about 5 feet lower than me I see Joe mouth "sorry"...

Yep... JT is a polite gentleman and very courteous even when funneling a formation. Mama raised him right. I'm sure he even said excuse me before he took me out. Man that was fun. It's all good. Gotta do that again soon.

Ed

actually miche~ left out the part where I was coming in the first time by her then the spin made me have to back off. so I decide to slide around to find another spot. your spin slowed a bit so I tired to get in before I lost the window! I should stayed out.
but I figured ah,hell Its only Ed. I can take him out.
i think during our mambo,Ed, we knock the weenie out of miche! FUN JUMPS

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[Michele 1]

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left out the part where I was coming in the first time by her then the spin made me have to back off

Yes, but the spin was finally stopped! LOL...I would've mentioned where you were, but, uh, I don't have eyes behind me (I'm not yet a parent...!) so that's not in my recollection....

But I will grant you, you certainly are polite. And I did think you were saying "shit" as you caroomed off his back....!!!

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[jtval 0]

nope. no "SHIT" just "sorry"

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[Islandcool 0]

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i think during our mambo,Ed, we knock the weenie out of miche!

Yeah dude! She doesn't know it yet but it was an exorcism. That bump was actually the evil weenie being released.

[jtval 0]

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Yeah dude! She doesn't know it yet but it was an exorcism. That bump was actually the evil weenie being released.

either that or it was gas being released!

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[VectorBoy 0]

I didn't know Michele was troubled by an EVIL weenie.

[Islandcool 0]

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either that or it was gas being released!

That's how she slowed the spin down.

Ed

[jtval 0]

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either that or it was gas being released!

That's how she slowed the spin down.

Ed

HAHAH! thats funny!
I need sleep now ! thanks for the laugh

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[Perky77 0]

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and then it hits me...I'm a real skydiver. Not really any good yet, but still...real. I am part of this group, not a poser, not an outsider, not a sham artist, but really and truly a skydiver. And with that comes a peace I had not understood before now...and a feeling of acceptence, of challenge, of personal pride, of confidence, and of understanding that what limits others is not my choice.

Aint it Cool!!! I couldn't have ever put the words to it like you did, but that is exactly why I love this stuff.

Awesome story.

"Sacrifice is a part of life. It is supposed to be. It's not something you regret . It's something to aspire to." Mitch Albom

[ladyskydiver 0]

Awesome story, hon! Glad you had fun.

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.

[SkyDekker 1,465]

That was a great great read, felt like I was there right beside you taking it all in, experiencing that all myself. And I haven't met you or any one else at that boogie

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

and then it hits me...I'm a real skydiver.

We all KNEW that YOU WERE I love that you are feeling that way, and I'm so glad that you had a good time at Perris, girl! By the way (remember my issue with my landings), I changed to a 7-cell canopy when I jumped at Elsinore on Monday, and my landings were nice!!!

[Michele 1]

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By the way, I changed to a 7-cell canopy, and my landings were fine!!!

Good deal!

Are you coming to Bridging the Gap?

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

YES, I will, and I will hopefully see you there!
(((((((((((((((BIG HUGS!!!))))))))))))))))))

[rhino 0]

It was GREEEAAATT!!!! Meeting you to girlfriend

I too enjoyed those morning weather hold talks.. lol

It is good to be home..

Rhino

[Michele 1]

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It is good to be home..

Hug Angela for me, please. And tell her thanks for sending you...it rawked! Mr. Messerschmidt! (I haven't a clue how to spell that one, so that's my attempt)...

Ciels-
Michele

~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek
While our hearts lie bleeding?~

[Chivo 0]

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...so we decide to do a rodeo...

Hi Michele, after reading about it, it feels like I was there. Oh wait, I was! I enjoyed meeting you @ 10,000 ft in the Skyvan... just a few minutes before exit. Glad you enjoyed your visit to Perris.

~Chivo